A Female Guide to Online Dating Without the Rose Colored Glasses

Not getting the results you want with online dating? Need to jumpstart your dating mojo? Check out my guide to better dating experiences and attracting the type of people you wish to form relationships with.

With over 10 years of online dating under my belt, I have become an expert on relationships and giving advice on how to successfully date.

Rule 1: Honesty on the web.

It's important to remember that the men you are meeting are in fact strangers, no matter how much time you spend talking to them via email, chat or by phone. And, until you meet in person and spend many months of together time, they are still strangers who may be lying and not being completely truthful about any number of things. These things may include: age, marital status, physical appearance, personality traits, lifestyle, values, etc. Because of this, I always encourage my readers to take what is said with a grain of salt until you can verify the facts for yourself through in person time spent together.

Just as important as watching for their honesty is making sure you are honest about yourself too. Don't lie about your age, looks, interests or lifestyle. Use a current picture of yourself or update your old one. That is the #1 turn off to men because they want to meet the real person that they have been talking to. Don't transform yourself into something you are not. If you are not honest with them, you may kill a potential relationship from even starting. Don't be afraid of being yourself. You are a fun person worth getting to know. If they don't like who you really are, then they are not for you and you can move on to someone who likes you just the way you are. (And those men ARE out there!)

Rule 2: Be selective with providing your personal information

Do not provide a last name, home or work address until you have gotten to know him better and can be sure he is trustworthy. And, use a different email address for people you meet through dating sites or chatrooms specifically for those types of interactions.

Rule 3: Meet in a public place

When you meet, always meet in a public place and tell friends and family where you will be. Always have your own form of transportation to and from the location. Do not meet for the first time for drinks which can severely impair your judgment and create an unsafe situation. And remember, dress nice but appropriately, and smile. Enjoy yourself!

Rule 4: Pay attention to the details.

How much about him and his life do you really know? Ask questions and always pay attention to any inconsistencies or story changes. If a person claims to be single, then watch out for signs that confirm or negate this. Do they provide a cell phone or a home number? Usually, a person who will not provide a home number is withholding it for a reason, such as having a live in partner or girl/boyfriend who visits or stays over often.

Do you know where they work? Can you visit them at their home? If they only want to meet you at your place or in a social setting, then that's a clear indication that they are not single.

Rule 5: Protect yourself emotionally

So often, I meet people who allow themselves to get emotionally attached to an online guy/girl before meeting them and I cannot stress enough how dangerous that can be. First of all, this person may not be who they claim to be in their picture or emails. Even if they are genuine, their online personality may be different than the one you meet in person. It's really easy to get carried away by words promising a future of a relationship, just to meet and have the person not be ready to deliver on the intensity of those emotions. So, please take things slowly and get to know them in person before developing too strong of an attachment.

Dating is a risk. Some dates will lead to relationships and others will not due to lack of physical chemistry or other incompatibilities. It's all part of the experience. And, by not getting too attached in the beginning, you don't set yourself up for disappointment.

Rule 6: Date with integrity

Women ask how to improve their chances of having more successful dates and I always say to date with integrity. It starts with self-love and knowing that you are important enough to be treated like a princess. Believe that about yourself and you will be well on your way to attracting better guys. Never accept dates from men who are married or in another relationship. This normally goes without saying but I can't begin to tell you how many women think that he will leave his significant other for her or that stay with a man even after he has lied to her about being single. None of these scenarios ever works out well and lead to a waste of your time where you could be meeting a guy who will make you the romantic priority.

Rule 7: Watch out for premature sexual intimacy

The majority of men report that women who sleep with them on the first date or really early on in the dating process are not women that they normally want to form lasting relationships with. It does not make them feel special since it was too easily gained. Men like the thrill of the hunt, or chase, if you will. They like what they must work at to attain. As such, it is in your favor to wait a while until you are certain there is a real relationship here before moving into sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy too soon into the dating process speeds up the development of feelings and attachment when no relationship may have been created yet. You are worth the wait and if he is the right guy for you, he will respect that. If you take your time before getting too physical, you can confirm that he is sticking around for the right reasons and not just a booty call.

Rule 8: Long distance relationships

There are many success stories of people meeting on the web who live far apart that have worked out. However, to be safe and create a more secure dating experience, it's best to meet people who live in your area. First of all, you get to see them more often which creates a deeper bond. Secondly, you can verify their information to see that they are in fact what they claim to be. Thirdly, you will be incurring more expense to maintain this type of relationship by having to finance trips to see him, the long distance phone bills, etc.

Often the distance and inability to see each other frequently leads to the person either not wanting to invest too much time in a relationship or they may even meet someone closer to them in the interim. At some point, if you decide to still get involved in this type of relationship, one of you will have to relocate to make it work or it ends due to the hardships that come with the distance. So, to avoid all of that, stick with dating in your area. It will ultimately be easier on your pocketbook and heart.

Rule 9: Watch out for signs of abuse or addictions

Whether it's a temper, violence, jealousy, control issues, verbal abuse, drinking or drugs, please watch for signs of issues in the guy that may lead to a toxic relationship. Don't think you can change him if he exhibits any signs of abuse. Just walk away and don't look back. If he is condescending, puts you down, or does not take your feelings into account, then he is not the right guy for you.

Rule 10: Maintain your individuality

First things first, make sure you are really ready to begin dating and not just looking for someone to complete or fulfill a void in your life. Men are attracted to women who are happy, independent and have outside interests.

Make sure that when you are initially dating, that you maintain your boundaries by not smothering and over-calling. Let things develop slowly. Maintain your individuality and independence by continuing to spend time with your friends, and are involved in the interests and hobbies that were a part of your life before he entered the picture. People can be scared off by too much attention or creating a situation where you drop all of your outside interests just to spend all of your time with him. Remember, men can come and go, but friends and the interests that made you the person that you are today will be there to stay. Don't alienate your friends and family when you are dating. You'll need to maintain your lifeline to these people and activities for support should the relationship not work out.

Rule 11: Premature declarations of love

True love takes time to develop, often many months to even a year. So, be wary of any guy who tells you they love you from the very beginning. They may be desperate just to have any relationship or may be a player who throws the words around without really meaning them.

Rule 12: Protect your assets

Never EVER give out your bank account information, debit card or give money to someone you barely know or have been dating for a short period of time. Don't buy them expensive gifts, give them cellphones or put their bills in your name. You are not their mommy or sugar mamma and they should be supporting themselves. If they ask you for any of these things, run, don't walk to the nearest exit.

Rule 13: Keep your skeletons in the closet

When you first get to know someone, it's easy to want to spill the beans about your past, your exes, and everything in between. Keep it light and fun. Talk about your hobbies, interests, events you've participated in and your positive traits. If he is worth getting to know and forming a relationship with, then he will be around to hear all of your not so great stories. Some men are scared off by too much emotional baggage in the beginning. So, hold off on the drama and heart to hearts. They are not interested in hearing why your last relationship hit the skids or why you have trust issues. Stick with the positives about your life and then after meeting and spending time together, if he is interested, the mysteries of what makes you you will unfold in time. Plus, it's more interesting that way, don't you think?

Rule 14: Dating behavior

Last minute dates: Never accept dates at the last minute. If a guy asks you out at the last minute, have the self-confidence to say that you already have plans and would love to take a raincheck. It will show the guy that your time is valuable and if they want to spend it with you, they have to make plans in advance.

Being on time: If he is continuously late in picking you up, then that is a form of disrespect and tell him so. If he doesn't change, drop him like a hot potato.

Going dutch: Never go dutch. I feel that if a guy asks you out, that he should be the one to pay. If he doesn't, kick him to the curb because he's too cheap to be a good candidate for a real relationship.

Courting Details: Pay attention to the ways in which he courts you. Does he bring flowers, leave you nice notes or emails? How does he go out of his way to make you feel special? Is the attention he gives you constant or sporadic? Does he follow through on set plans and phone calls? Is the effort to invest time and attention to the relationship mutual? Or do you find yourself doing most of the work to plan the dates or see him? If his behavior is flaky or lacking special treatment from the get go, it is a clear indicator of what you can expect from him in the future.

Most men are on their best behavior during the first few months of dating. It is after the "honeymoon phase" is over and the newness of being with you wears off that you really see his true colors and whether he has the staying power to really make you happy in a long term relationship.

Incorporating you into his life: Another important aspect worth discussing is the effort made to progress the relationship to the next level. Does he take the time to incorporate you into his life? Have you met his friends and family? If he does not return your calls for a few days, does not introduce you to the people in his life, makes excuses to see you frequently or disappears, really evaluate what you are doing with a guy like that. He may not be as into you as you think. Bottom line is, he is not putting you first and you need to put yourself first by moving on to someone who will.

Rule 15: Know when to cut your losses and move on

A date can appear to be going extremely well but then you don't get the call back. Or, you may go on a few dates for even a few weeks and then the guy pulls the old disappearing act or says he does not want to see you anymore. Leaves you confused and frustrated right? That's why it's important to read rule #5 where I discuss protecting yourself from getting too attached too soon emotionally. There could be any number of reasons why the dating relationship does not progress. Some of these include him not being ready for a commitment, is scared of getting too close to anyone, is going through a rebound period from a recent relationship, is a player who dates many women, got back together with an ex, realized that you two are not as compatible as he first thought and too many others to name in this article. No matter what the reason, realize that this will happen and not to let it break you or make you stop trying to date new people. It is just the process we must all go through that will eventually lead us to the right person for ourselves.

By the same token, if you realize that a dating relationship is not going in the direction that you would like, don't keep wasting your time trying to force something that is not there. If he tells you he only wants something casual and you want something exclusive or long term, don't keep seeing him, calling him or prolonging a situation that is not conducive to your happiness. Giving him time is not going to change a man who knows early on he does not want to invest in you. So, start investing in yourself. Learn to cut your losses and move on to new people that can meet your needs. Life is too short to settle. Remember, no one is going to look out for your needs as good as you will. Go for the gusto and be more proactive in creating the romantic life you seek by being selective in who you date, how you are treated and evaluate where it is ultimately going.

Rule 16: Trust your intuition

No matter what, always trust your instincts. You were born with them for a reason. If something does feel right, there is usually a reason. Be good to yourself and take your time with the dating process. You will know what feels right to you and who you click with if you listen to your inner voice of reason. Also, don't neglect the advice and insights of friends and family either. They may see an aspect of that person that you may not because you are too involved in the relationship.

Rule 17: Our thoughts shape our reality

Ever heard the expression, you get what you send out? Well, it's true. To attract great people into our lives, we must be healthy within and without. We must love ourselves more than we love anyone else and believe that we deserve the best. We must also not accept bad behavior or disrespect on any level. When we focus our thoughts on what we want, rather than what we do not, we send out a message to the Universe that we are ready for true change on a soul level.

Many women attract relationship patterns because of lessons they have not learned from the previous relationship or are attracting to their life something that they lack in themselves. Do the self-work to become happy with yourself and then begin to seek out new relationships. If you need to get some therapy before jumping back into the dating scene to help you move on from an issue or blockage, then do so. Learn from previous experiences so that you grow stronger and learn what to look out for and avoid in your future.

Put your best foot forward by knowing who you are and letting that wonderful person shine through. At the end of the day, you are the greatest prize and the right guy will treat you the way you think you deserve to be treated.

Zuri Eberhart is an internationally known Reiki master, psychic intuitive and gateway dream coach. She provides insight, healing and self-empowerment services through intuitive guidance, numerology, tarot, dream coaching and energy work. For more information visit: http://www.AskZuri.com

Watch Our Bollywood! Indian Dating Sites Are Cropping Up Over the Internet

I think that online dating has really taken off in all its forms. It did start its roots in the more liberal Western societies; and that came as no surprise with our sonorous view of dating. Online dating was viewed with a lot of suspicion for quite a long time; most saw it as another avenue for social problems to arise, but in the end of the day, society proved that such a medium to find partners would not be the exclusive playground or the nefarious and dangerous individuals. Online dating filled a need, a need by busy professionals who had to time to include themselves in the social scene, a need of overly shy people who could not muster enough to face social situations.

It was a need commanded by people who wanted to rid themselves of the constant failures of dating and use an almost mathematical approach to dating, narrowing people right down to the favourite colour. And now, it has routed traditionalism, but not in a bad way. Modernity has started to hit out and even the most traditional societies of today's world and people now see the value of online dating. The stigma is not slowly disappearing, it has gone completely and those of us who still look at it with suspicion should pinch ourselves and wake up from this self creating dystopia that we live in.

Online dating is fun, it is great and anyone can meet their future partner through it. Indian dating sites are a testament to this realisation. I have a few Indian friends, and they have recounted me stories of arranged marriages or of lost loves. Mind you, not all of them are unhappy; some of them have found perfect lives within the walls of traditionalism that has been presented to them since their birth. But there is an outlet now, especially for those who have left behind a life and reached out for another. It is not a question of promiscuity, it is not a question of blatant liberalism in the face of quaint traditionalism - it is a question of choice. Love should never be limited to where one is, where one can see and how far one can reach. Love is as borderless an expression and it can be transmitted through satellite and phone lines. Without the internet, the dynamics of Indian dating that exist today would not even be there. I applaud the internet dating scene for revolutionising and introducing dating to all sectors of society.

In the end of the day, I think it will pervade the world. Love should not be limited, it should be the horizon we all work towards, and the broader the horizon, the more unique our experience. So watch our Bollywood! The love scenes might be coming to a shore near you and there might be an intercontinental mix into it. Indian, Persian, Chinese - more and more of us should be dating online!

Dating Singapore made easy with online dating personality test for compatibility matching. Dating Service simplified for one and all.

5 Important Dating Questions to Ask Yourself

1. WHAT ARE SOME COMMON DATING MISTAKES YOU OFTEN ENCOUNTER?

I. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

Get clear on what's important to you in a mate. He may be gorgeous, have a great smile and charm your friends. He might even open your car door and put his coat over the puddle so your feet don't get wet. But before you become totally smitten and swept off your feet, be sure to delve a little deeper. Take a good hard look. Make sure he has the attributes and qualities you are looking for. There are always signs. Some not as subtle as others. You crave affection. He barely holds your hand. Can you live with that? He spends extravagantly. You are frugal. Does that bother you? He's got young children. Yours are grown and you love to travel. Will that become an issue? Does he ask you out during the week and never on a Saturday night? Does he talk incessantly about himself and never ask about you? Is he still online 'looking' after you've been dating for months? Make sure that the man you date is the man you want. Not the man you want him to be. You need to see the person for who they really are. Being really honest with yourself regarding these issues, is the key for successful dating.

II. YOU STOP DATING BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN REJECTED ONCE OR TWICE.

Dating is not for the faint of heart. If you are sincere about finding a Mr. or Ms. Right, odds are high that you are going to be rejected somewhere along the line. It hurts. Sometimes even a lot. Getting dumped by anyone, especially someone you are starting to like, is not fun. But for criminy sakes, don't be a pansy and shrivel up. Someone's opinion about you is just that. An opinion. It has nothing to do with who you are or what you would like in your life. He's out there. You just have to find him. Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off and stay in the game. Remember. It's all part of the journey. You learn from every date, every 'ouch'. With each step, you get closer to what it is you want. As with most things in life, if you persevere, you'll find what you were looking for. The one you like and likes you.

III. GETTING TOO SERIOUS TOO SOON.

Love at first site! Instant attraction. This is it. Jump into bed. Move in by month's end. Lightening speed to the altar. What's the rush? This isn't a race. Love either grows or fades. Give it the time to do so. Get to know each other. Even if you fall madly in love in two seconds flat, doesn't mean you have to act on it. Be sure or as sure as you can. The only way to do so is give it time. You can't rush getting to know someone. Enjoy the process. Life and love are not just about getting to the next trapeze step. It's all in the swing.

IV. DATING LIKE IT'S A JOB INTERVIEW.

You're looking for a friend, a partner, a connection. Like they say in army recruiting....it's not a job, it's an adventure. So is dating. There's plenty of time to know if it's a good match. You don't have to grill him/her on the first several dates. Make it fun. Laugh. Smile. Enjoy. Even if it's not the love of your life, chances are, it's a nice person you are having dinner with, or coffee, or the movies. They are trying or they wouldn't be there. So should you. If it's a real creep, politely exit early.

2. WHEN SHOULD YOU CALL IT QUITS.

Knowing when to throw in the towel in a relationship is a tough one. But if you ask yourself some really honest questions and equally truthful answers, it may not be a difficult as you think.

- Is there any physical or emotional abuse? There are no 'buts' on this one. Bye bye.

- Do the same problems keep coming up again and again? Chances are that they are not going to go away. There is someone else out there more suitable. You just have to be willing to try to find him.

- Is he nice to your children? Your kids have enough on their plates with your divorce or death of a parent. If your children are a top priority to you, then the person you date must understand this. Period. End of sentence. - Does he Lie? Lying destroys trust. Trust is the core at every relationship. It's impossible to have a healthy relationship without it.

- No emotional connection? He is so sweet and nice. You go on date after date hoping you feel it in your heart and it keeps coming up empty. Think seriously about letting this one go as hard as it is

. - Doesn't want to meet your family or friends or you to meet theirs. My big question would be 'why?' What's he trying to hide?

- Relationship between his words and his actions are not in sync. This shows a lack of integrity and is not yours to change. Don't even try. This isn't the complete list. But it's a good start. And remember the golden dating rule. If they're too good to be true, they usually are. Most of all, use common sense, your intuition and good judgment. If that's doesn't work, get the opinion of your trusted friends. Chances are, they will give you an earful.

3. THE BEST WAY TO MEET PEOPLE - PARTICULAR PLACES, ACTIVITIES, ETC?

Online Dating. In today's world, it's a biggie. It's one of the fastest growing online groups, especially the over 40 crowd. They say that 1 in every 4 marriages today come from internet matching. It's a great tool to expand the pool of available singles in your age group and with your interests. There's lots of help out there to increase your odds of succeeding in this arena. Start by googling internet dating within your age group or interests.

Mutual Interests. It's always nice to meet someone with mutual interests. Golf. Swimming. Boating. Playing cards. Dancing. Walking your dog at the park. Bible study class or book club. Get out there and do what you love, especially around other people who have the same interests as you. Enjoyment is contagious. Someone really cute and nice might notice.

The Bars. Not everyone is comfortable in that setting. But it's an option. And if it is, choose the place where you might be most comfortable and has a reputation of attracting the type of person you might like.

Networking. Tell everyone you know you are looking to date. Great way to meet someone. If you have a friend who has a friend, chances are good you might like them. Truth is, you can meet someone anywhere. At the grocery store. Walking down your street. At work. A party. So make sure you always look your best no matter where you go. Don't forget to bring your smile everywhere. You never know who's looking. Or who might smile back.

4. WHAT ARE SOME KEY THINGS PEOPLE SHOULD LOOK FOR IN A POTENTIAL PARTNER WHEN DATING?

Choosing a partner wisely and well isn't easy. We are attracted to people for all kinds of reasons. What is important to one, is not necessarily the same for another. The key to finding what you want and getting the most out of it, is to decide ahead of time what is right for you. Know your needs and being able to speak up for them clearly. Make your list. Maybe even write it down. It will give you a good point of reference to go back to in case he's just super cute and you're thinking about overlooking some questionable traits. I won't test you on these, but life will. Be really honest with yourself. You're the one who will be in the relationship. Not your friends or your mother. You can ask them their opinion, but in the end, the decision is ultimately yours. That being said, there are a few key building blocks to a relationship that are important no matter what

- COMPATIBILITY. He loves to spend. She lives to save. She wants children. He doesn't. He has a high sex drive. She'd prefer once a week. Or less. He's a great communicator. She's not. The truth is, once the infatuation phase is over (and it does end sooner or later), reality rears its head, and the question becomes....are you both 'in sync' with what you each define as important in a relationship. If you think alike on the fundamental issues, and share the same values, you have a much better chance of making it work. - RESPECT. Dictionary.com defines respect as esteem for a sense of the worth or excellence of a person. Good relationships thrive on this. Choosing someone you hold in high regard, who can help you better your best....works. Someone you think is smart and able, a person who you can count on when the going gets tough. Respect for yourself and your potential partner is vital for a successful relationship.

- HONESTY. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. A relationship built on lies has no foundation

- GOOD NEGOTIATOR. Good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time as people's needs change and life's demands take over. Being a partner means bringing different perspectives, strengths and weaknesses to the table. Being a good partner means being able to express them and manage the differences. Disagreements don't sink relationships. Avoiding them does. A relationship is not a guessing game. Most important...when you do 'talk', it's with compassion and caring for the other's feelings. It takes a second to wound with words and eons to heal

- GOOD LISTENER. Everyone wants and needs to be heard. Without judgment. Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need for solving problems. Empathy is crucial. Having someone you run to, in good times and bad, is what intimacy is all about.

- THE HUMAN ELEMENT. In other words...chemistry. Can be instant. Or it can simmer and brought to a full boil with time. Either way....it's got to be there.

- WHAT COUNTS. One more thing to remember as Albert Einstein put it so aptly....."Not everything that can be counted counts. And not everything that counts can be counted."

5. WHAT ARE SOME TIPS ON GETTING THE GIRL/GUY AND KEEPING HIM/HER

Be yourself. Way too hard to be someone else. Remember. It's not about 'getting someone' or not. It's about a match. It's about someone liking you for who you are...and you for them.

Lorraine McDaniel is a 50+ widow who founded 'Start N Over Fabulous'. Her company has helped many 40+ revamp and successfully step into the online dating world. Visit her website at: http://www.startnoverfab.com

Smart Dating Tips For Women - Develop Outstanding People Skills!

Attracting, getting, and maintaining long-lasting love requires both partners to practice sound human-relations skills. When the going gets rough, smart people remain patient, kind, compassionate and, most of all, flexible in their approach to one another. Remember the Golden Rule which reads: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." In other words, treat others as you want to be treated. If you don't, poor people skills will make you an undesirable person to spend time with.

The following ideas are designed to help fine-tune your ability to get along well with other people and improve your human-relations skills for a better love life:

o START BY BEING FRIENDLY & CHEERFUL.

Remember that first impressions are formed during the initial few seconds of an interaction. That's why it's always a safe policy to start off by putting your best foot forward. A good way to accomplish this is to be friendly and cheerful. A warm smile also communicates this feeling in a natural way. People frequently make the mistake of trying too hard to impress someone in the beginning. However usually the other person just wants is to feel comfortable and have an enjoyable experience. If you do not make a good impression, you may not get a chance to make a second one.

o RELAX AND BE NATURAL.

Another helpful technique to master is having an opening greeting in mind to use. Keep it simple and natural such as "Hi, how are you doing?" Rather than dumping a clever line on another person, it's far better to be relaxed and communicate in a natural manner. This puts the other person at ease.

o REFRAIN FROM EXCESSIVE COMPLAINING AND CRITICIZING.

In my work as a tour director, I've had my fill of people who criticize and complain about almost anything. While they may have legitimate reasons for doing this, the end result is that these people enjoy their vacations less and tend to bring other travelers down. If these types of people could only rid themselves of the need to feel more important by making such comments, then they would open up their lives to more social opportunities and better-quality relationships with others. Unfortunately, habitual complainers are the last ones to find out how many love-chances passed them by because of their negative nature. By not being negative, you not only open yourself up to additional possibilities, you will actually allow yourself to enjoy them more, too.

o CONNECT ON THE SAME LEVEL.

Be aware that most communication between people is done on an unconscious level. A well-documented study by Dr. Albert Mehrabian at the University of California, Los Angeles, showed that nonverbal communication --- including facial, eye, and body movements --- account for 55% of all communication. According to this research, only 7% of communication comes from the actual words we use and 38% of our communication consists of simple voice inflections. In order to connect on the same level, a smart communicator will match another person's basic voice-traits (volume and speed) and non-vocal patterns (hand gestures, amount of eye contact, and basic facial expressions).

o DON'T TELL OTHER PEOPLE THAT THEY ARE WRONG.

We waste a lot of energy trying to be right. In the meantime, we inadvertently make other people feel wrong. What's funny is that we often have good intentions when telling someone they are wrong. As concerned friends, we don't want people we care about to go down the wrong path toward unhappiness, failure, or disappointment. But corrective remarks often result in defensiveness from the other person. So when the stakes are small, be sure to let some harmless comments or behavior go by unchallenged. This allows others to recognize that you approve and accept them as they are. And then be very selective about the things you do address.

o AVOID GOSSIP.

Many people have a natural urge to stick their noses into other people's business. For some, this is a kind of entertainment that focuses on the faults of others rather than their strengths. The danger with gossip is that it is filled with speculation, questions people's motives, and is usually designed to criticize or belittle others. Most gossip involves friends, co-workers, or neighbors, so the words of the one who gossips often get back to the accused. People start to wonder what is said about them when they aren't around. If you are viewed as a gossip, people will consider you untrustworthy. The safe strategy is to mind your own business. Also, simply by listening to gossip, you encourage it.

o GIVE WELL-RECEIVED COMPLIMENTS.

In my earlier career as a public speaking trainer, I had to have a variety of uniquely positive things to say about my students after their speeches. I would usually look for something that I either liked, admired, trusted, or respected about that person. Later, in the dating arena, I found that making an effort to find the less obvious and more personal compliment was a sign that I truly valued the woman at a deeper level. For example, instead of telling a beautiful woman that she was pretty, I would listen intently and say that I enjoyed her sense of humor or respected her opinion about something. That always seemed to score bigger points with my dates and it made me stand out among the other men the woman knew.

o WIN ARGUMENTS BY AVOIDING THE UNNECESSARY ONES!

A lot of wasted energy is spent trying to win arguments rather than letting the other person express his or her ideas freely. Sometimes you must remind yourself that many battles aren't worth fighting. It's better to save your ability to discuss differences for the issues that are really important in your relationships. If you feel you could be better at dealing with relationship conflicts, read I'm Right. You're Wrong. Now What?: How to Break Through Any Relationship Stalemate Without Fighting, Folding or Fleeing by JacLynn Morris, M.Ed. and Paul L. Fair, Ph.D.

Improving your human-relation skills may require breaking some old patterns and habits. However, excelling in your people skills is an attractive quality that allows the chance for love to flourish. Your ability to get along with a wide variety of people under different sets of circumstances goes a long way toward making sure that your love relationship is an expanded, growing one --- not a limited dying one.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Dating sucks when you don't get along well with others and are a pain to be around for very long. But dating rocks when people enjoy your company and deeply value their association with you under all kinds of social circumstances.

Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love

http://www.SteveNakamoto.com

Gay Phone Chat - Create New Opportunities With Phone Dating Services

You use your cell phone to place an order for the latest Burberry trench coat, order-in Chinese, to call your Mom, and reserve at table at that trendy new bistro downtown, but do you know what else you could be doing? Hint: it is a bit naughty, a bit nice, and a really exciting way to meet men. Answer: phone dating services are the latest and greatest opportunity-makers around.

Let's face it. When you have worn out the regular bars around town, stalked the produce aisle at the grocery store a few too many times, even found yourself at the gym just a little too much, you may think you have reached the bottom of the barrel. There couldn't possibly be another attractive gay man who could catch your eye. You have flirted with them all!

But there is a place where you can find so many gay men that you won't know what to do with yourself. No, it isn't San Francisco, but it might as well be. A gay phone chat line website is just the place you are looking for to revitalize your love life and bring that twinkle back into your eye. Whether you are looking for a friendship, dating, romance and love, casual encounters, or explicit adult relationships, there is a category chock full of gay men who are also looking for someone just like you.

Phone chat lines bring together two of the things that you use every day - your laptop and cell phone - to open the doorway to a new world. Imagine meeting and chatting with dozens of new men from the comfort and safety of your own home! If you don't like someone, you can simply say goodbye, hang up the phone, and search for someone different. Feeling fickle? Go through as many voice personal ads as you want; your time is precious, you don't want to spend it talking to the wrong guy.

Once you do find someone worthwhile, feel free to chat about anything you want. The beauty of gay phone chat services is that you can get as naughty or nice as you like. If you want to reveal your deepest, darkest fantasies with someone else and listen while they pleasure themselves, you can do that. Ever wanted to experiment with a different persona but was too shy to? Go ahead and be that bad boy biker, the uptight principle, or the postman who likes to deliver big packages. Enjoy the freedom and anonymity that phone chat lines can bring.

Sometimes you just don't feel like going out and reliving all of the same drama that you can find at the local gay bar. You might see an old boyfriend there, an one-night stand that went awry, or the mistake you made a few months ago standing at the bar. Sometimes you just want to stay in and relax at home, but would love to hear the sound of another man's voice keeping you company. All you need to do is log on to your computer, browse through a few voice personals and, before you know it, you will be deep in conversation with a man who is promising to...you can fill in the blank here. Don't spend another night dissatisfied when you could be having the time of your life with one, five, even ten men keeping you company all night long with gay phone chat lines.

Meet exciting gay friends and lovers with Phone Personals!

Toll Free 866-584-0974

Dating Tips For Shy Guys - You Are in a Coffee Shop, a Gorgeous Woman Walks In, What Do You Do?

You're in this coffee shop when this beautiful woman walks in. You're in luck because she proceeds to stand right next to you in line. You watch her from the side of your eye as she gazes at the menu and... what's that?!

Did she actually look up and smile at you? You're dying to talk to her but your mind goes blank? Cat got your tongue? Here are a few things to remember when you're bitten by the shy bug:

1. If you don't make a move, someone else will.

Hey, all's fair play in love and dating. If you're not going to do take a shot with this lady, then move aside and let someone else have his try. Can't stand the thought of that? Then do something about it. Life is too short to waste it stalling.

2. She's probably just as shy as you are.

Intimidated? Afraid of being rejected? Chances are, so is she. Truth be told, women will usually think twice about making the first move on a man for fear that she might come across as desperate or too "forward." So, don't wait around for her to introduce herself. Who knows? She might just be waiting for you to strike up a conversation with her. Wouldn't it be just sad if you both liked each other all along but were too shy to figure it out?

3. "Hello" is a good place to start.

That said, saying "hello" is always a good start in opening communication lines with someone. Make sure you make eye contact and smile. Then, you can follow it up with a simple "how's your day so far?" or a more creative "what do you think of the coffee/food/art/(insert the appropriate topic) in this place?" The important thing is to start talking. As that famous movie line goes, "you got me at hello." Oh, and don't forget to introduce yourself at some point.

4. Work the Charm.

Believe it or not, a lot of women find shy guys really charming as opposed to over-confident ones who seem to think any girl would fall head-over-heels in love with them with one flash of a smile. Work that up to your advantage. There's a reason why women all over the world love Mr. Darcy and his fumbling proposal (if you haven't read or watched Pride and Prejudice, do so! It is crucial to your dating life!). Ladies like to feel that they have the power to make a man go weak in the knees and nervous because of their beauty. But, don't overdo it, of course! There's a thin line between complimenting someone and flattery.

5. Be honest.

The problem with shyness is that it can be easily misconstrued as snobbishness or disinterestedness (I will say it again: watch Pride and Prejudice!). "I've been wanting to talk to you but I was feeling a bit bashful" - straight and simple. It will help the object of your admiration understand your personality and encourage her to initiate conversation in the future.

STOP!

If you want to discover something most men will NEVER know when it comes to attracting women...

Use this secret seduction system.

An ULTIMATE SECRET WEAPON which will make women BEG you to date them even if you are bald, fat and ugly!...

Use this secret seduction system.

Dignity While Dating

Some of you out there have had some bad raps with women, have had a rough time of it and aren't really sure if you're worthy of a good woman because you've just had a string of bad luck. What ends up happening is that you start feeling grateful for any woman who will look your way. Stop right now. That is ridiculous. You -- and every other man who isn't a psychopath or total Jackhole -- deserves someone who will treat you like the rockstar you are inside.

So you need to go into the relationship expecting to be treated with dignity and not like you are lucky to be dating at all. Here is a scenario that is flip flopped a little bit, with the man dating women who feel lucky he gives them the time of day. But he is not interested in them. See who does capture his attention and remember it works both ways.

I once knew a guy I'll call James who made the women crazy. He dated several women at once and they always fell in love with him. The problem was he never fell for any of them. He drove them completely wild.

Well one day James was introduced to a mutual friend of ours, whom I'll call Julie. Well Julie didn't appear to fall for his charms right away, but had fun being goofy and silly with him. James was intrigued. He began to pursue Julie, who was friendly and nice but definitely wasn't worshipping him (or at least didn't act like it.)

Before too long, James and Julie were an item.

James, who had his way for years, stringing women along and basically putting his friends first before anyone he was dating, had an awakening. Julie wouldn't put up with his behavior for one second.

She set up rules for the relationship.

One of them was if James wanted to go out drinking with his friends and show up at her house later to stay the night, that was OK, but if he wasn't at her house by 9 p.m., he could sleep there, but she wasn't going to have sex with him.

What?

He had never been given restrictions in anything he did. Well, I'll tell you what, he quickly decided to toe the line. After all, they were fair expectations and showed Julie respected herself enough to not put up with any of his shenanigans. Imagine all the women who were astounded to find out that less than a year after they began dating, James and Julie were getting married.

Here's another example of dating with dignity.

If you are dating someone or contemplating dating them, lay down the law right away about what you will put up with and what you won't. Because I'll tell you what, if they don't meet your standards out of the gate, it is only going to get worse.

For instance, once a girl wanted to go out with me. I let her do the pursuing in this case. She told me she was busy until lunchtime on Sunday and then she would call me to arrange where we could meet. Well (and this was before cell phones) by 12:10 she had not called and guess what? I was out the door. Gone. Not reachable and not interested.

If I had waited around, it would have showed that I would tolerate someone who was late, who I could not count on.

Bill Preston has been studying Pick Up Lines and how to be a Pick Up Artist for the last 5 years and is a guest instructor at the top Pickup Artist Boot camp in NYC. He loves sharing his experience and the latest Pickup Lines with other men looking to improve their lives. Find out more at PUA Forums.

Irresistible Online Dating Profiles - Strategies To Boost Your Responses

Your profile is one of the most important tools in you quest for Mr. / Mrs. Right. It acts and introduction to other members. It gives other members an idea of your likes and dislikes and your opportunity to shine. Here are some tips for creating an attention grabbing profile.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

· First and foremost have a picture. This is your chance to catch someone's eye. It doesn't have to be a professional one, but it should be clear so that people know who they are talking to. Statistically a personal advert with a picture gets 10-15 times more responses. This is an incredible 15,000 percent better than a text only ad. Wow. These are conservative estimates. Most online daters won't even look at a profile without a picture. If you are a little self conscious don't worry everyone's in the same boat. So be bold and put up a site photo.

· Make sure your photo is clear. When people are going through hundreds of profiles a clear and clean picture always stands out. A professional one is a great idea, you know it's up to the job but don't worry if it isn't, it should just be clear. If you can't get a professional ask a friend/family who makes you smile to take it. That way you'll be sure you look relaxed and happy, these are two very import features for a good online photo.

· Make sure you smile. Just think about when you go to a party. Who are you more likely to speak to? People that look friendly. This is just as true on line. So make sure you smile on your online photo

· Have more than one photo. Have a couple of photos of yourself doing things that you like, and enjoying yourself. Photos should center on you rather than on a group. If there are lots of people make sure you crop, so that you are the main subject. The more photos the better as it shows more aspects of your self.

· Make sure you are fully clothed! This might seem obvious but you can get banned from online dating sites by showing too much flesh. It also conveys the right impression i.e. that you are looking for long-term relationship rather than a one night stand.

· Make sure it's recent and accurate. If you want to meet someone they will be expecting the person they see in the photo not someone 10yrs younger. Also it will help find someone who is attracted to you as you are at the moment.

On to the online text Profile.

Let's go back to the party scenario. OK so you've gone over to talk to someone because they looked friendly and smiled. You need to start a conversation with them, but what do you talk about? If the conversation is flat you/they would to move on. The same is true for your text profile. Your online text profile is your opening line. So here are some tips to get you headed in the right direction.

· How do I start.? Start off by getting a piece of paper and writing down your likes and dislikes. Be descriptive. This helps to get your creativity moving.

· Be positive. Have you ever spoken to someone who's feeling a bit down? Sometimes you also start feeling low also. So keep your profile upbeat. You can do that easier if you write your online dating profile in a happy mood. This makes your writing pleasant and light hearted and your audience interested.

· Keep it real. Avoid making anything up. Remember if you want to meet that person they will want to know about things on your profile. So stay with the truth. You are more likely to find someone who is interested in the same things you are. In the end you want to find someone who is interested in you for yourself, not an imaginary person you have created.

· Let yourself shine through in your description. For example a light hearted joke is better than writing 'I have a good sense of humor'. In general jokes a great, just make sure they're clean.

· Be inspired. How can you do that if you are not a writer? Look at other profiles. Take note of what you like and dislike. Then pick out phrases and words you like. Now have a go using these to inspire you.

· Get a friend to read it through and critique it for you. This will give you lots of feedback about how to make things better.

· Check your description for spelling and grammar.

· Stay safe. Never give any personal details such as telephone numbers and addresses.

· Read it again after a week. Sometimes you come up with some great ideas once you have written your online profile

How Can I do better?

If things still aren't working for you, not to worry here some more ideas.

· Keep Reviewing. Look at your profile periodically and critically. Think about the type of personality your profile conveys and the type of person you want to attract. If you are not getting any attention or inappropriate responses make changes.

· Don't give up. Keep your options open. Don't stick to just online dating, keep looking around you. It's just a matter of time until you find the right person.

· Stay positive. Learn to be happy with yourself, this can be easier for some, but a positive attitude will benefit your interactions and relationships in general.

· Good Luck

There are some articles here. If you need some more ideas go here: [http://www.love-be.com/articles.html]

Love-be.com is a free online dating site for people looking for longe-term relationships. This is one of the many articles and resources available at [http://www.love-be.com/articles.html]

Teenage Love in the Shadow of Dating

Many teenagers are the ones who face the mistake of mistranslating the feelings of other people well to a point of believing that the female or male they are dating is in love with them, or they feel really in love with. It is something that they miss usually and are not able to distinguish between lust, love and infatuation. This may happen as they are passing through crucial passage in life.

It is important for teenagers who are within the precincts of dating to remember that those strong relationships that are good balanced have always outweighed the worse aspects of life usually. You must know that you are a teenager and that usually the kind of relationship you have has the tendency to develop some negative aspects which are easily learned from.

It is a sure journey of discovery where you get to find that person you will start dating and spend with the longest period of your life. Love is just that you will always be meeting suitors if you don't find one first. Most of them will just be lusting after your physical well-being and not after the essence of loving each other. Lust is something that has made many teenage love relationships to reach a certain level and then hit a snag. This usually happens after the lust has waned and since there was no love; misery and breakup are left to roam.

The fact is that in a dating relationship, there is a clear distinction that exists between being in love with a man or woman and the act of loving a person. This could be elaborated by the way you depict your love as an entity of desire as compared to the kind of love which we manifest to our parents. It is also different from the person a lover meets or the way women care for their hair rather than shaving it.

The feeling of someone being in love in dating relationship with you is a sacred thinking that comes endowed with uniqueness in the life of every soul on the face of the earth. Usually, the feeling of being in the hands of love means the desire that you have to begin having physical intimacy with that person you are falling in love with. Usually, there is a feeling of being elated or acute joy every time that you happen to be within the line of the person you are in love with. You feel being divinely connected with the person. This kind of love sometimes tastes like the cream of fate or as if you have been familiar with the person in a way, something that make you conjure a feeling of reincarnation.

Nevertheless, make your dating relationships as normal as possible and do not take it as if you are entitled to a person with whom, you can fall in love with. It is not such a healthy thing if you think that you are connected to the other person in a divine way.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Free Online Dating Service [http://www.tomydate.com/] Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Dating [http://www.tomydate.com/blog/?p=7358]

Dating Gurus - Which One Suits You?

Have you ever been so dumbfounded about what to do in dating and relationships that you've decided to seek "professional help"? Have you tried to find your own love doctor? Have you succumbed to soliciting advice from dating gurus just to get you through the ever-complicated world of dating? If you have, well then experience should teach you that dating gurus - no matter how helpful they are - can be more of a burden than an assistance to you if you fail to identify which expert adviser is best suited to cater to your needs. So read on and keep these guidelines in mind when you approach the next date doctor.

Not every dating guru can be right for you.

There are many dating experts that will offer their services to you, usually for a fee. However, the world wide web offers a wide selection of dating advisers that make use of free media to offer advice and answer queries from men and women alike who continue to be confounded by the intricacies of love and relationships. While it is, of course, ideal for you to make full use of these free services, you have to keep in mind that these pieces of advice might not cut it for you. Why? Because how much can you really share on forums or perhaps email? Most likely, you will leave out pertinent information regarding your situation that could be useful for your dating guru when he or she generates an advice. These dating gurus will then base their words of wisdom for you based only on the little information that you have provided. And as a result, the advice given may not work.

Dating gurus can help you better if you're a match.

Women like to seek advice from fellow women---this is often an honest mistake among the gals. Women share the same line of thinking, more or less. So when it comes down to figuring out what goes on in the mind of a man, whom do you really go to? Not a woman. A man! So when you pick out a dating guru, try approaching a guy. Get the guy's point of view, for once. You have your best girl friends to tell you all the female pulse you need. What you actually need is a man's insight. Who better to tell you about what certain guy codes mean and how gestures should be interpreted than the guys themselves!

Dating gurus are people too.

Remember that dating gurus are not perfect. They are human beings also who can make mistakes. Don't rely too much on what they say. Consider their opinion and weigh your options. Do not make decisions based entirely on what a dating guru has told you to do. Because, ladies, at the end of the day---YOU are the one on the dating scene. You're the one who is spending time and making conversation and being intimate with your date, not your guru. Your dating guru shall only serve as a guide, more or less. He's there to teach you some tips and tricks, but he cannot control nor manipulate you into making decisions within the relationship itself. He can also be faulted for wrong pieces of advise or tips that turn out more to be harmful than helpful. But you can't put the blame on him entirely. You really have to make your own decisions and choices. Your guru is meant to lead the way, but not direct the events that will occur during your dates; neither can he proclaim a happy ending for your love story. He's only a guru, after all, not the god of love.

Want to learn more? Go to: 77 Secrets of Love and learn how to make him fall in love with you hopelessly.

Get Your FREE Report When You Visit Today (Offer Ends Soon):* Love Triggers Revealed *

This article is contributed by Alexandra Fox, a popular dating coach with a huge following. She has written many online books, including her bestselling ebook 77 Secrets of Love. Her newest program is: The Male Mind. You can find more about her by visiting her website.

Do Single Women Really Want Subservient Men to Date and Dominate? Find the Answer in Our Dating Q&A

Read a dating question from a single man who may need to change his view of women if he wants to enjoy his dating life. See if you agree in this dating Q & A:

Dating Question:
In the past year, I've had two relationships with women I met on-line. Both women tried to dominate and outperform me in every aspect of life. They each asked me to loan them large sums of money. I told them to get lost and they did.

I know that single women want a subservient relationship where a man shoves money down her throat, caters to her every whim, and then he's disposable like garbage. I'm sorry if I generalize here, but it is the truth.

I do not think women find men as necessary. Is there a woman in this town who wants a real man anymore?

Feeling neutralized in L.A.

Dating Answer:

So sorry you're feeling neutralized by dating two gold rush girls in a row. When a date asks you to be their banker, it's time to say, "Next", with your wallet intact. You were smart to move on.

Do you think it is wise to generalize about all women based on your experience with two women? Or is this is a sure-fire way to sabotage each future relationship?

You may discover the answer in a motto of our online community, which is inspired by the law of attraction:

"What you see will be."

Do you see how you could be choosing the same type of woman to date again and again? Or do you believe that each new date will treat you the same as a past relationship?

If you believe your past will become your future, you look for clues of bad things to come and see failure before you ever get started in a relationship. If you paint the same negative portrait on each woman you meet, you stifle their freedom to be unique. And you destroy your own seeds of joy.

There is an antidote. If you don't like the way you see women, you may see them with new eyes.

Will you allow yourself to see how each woman's behavior is different from a past relationship?

If like attracts like, will you lead with your best qualities so you attract a woman who values and shares these qualities?

Will you give a woman the chance to love you the way you desire and deserve to be loved?

If you change the way you see women, you will change your experience with women. If and when you give this a go, write back and let us know!

And if you or your single friends are seeking great love, let America's Love Guide, Hadley Finch, help you choose your perfect match in the dating site she created exclusively for positive singles who believe in Great Love. Take a FREE look around as her guest at https://www.TribeOfSingles.com

And you will stop dead-end dating and find true love now as Hadley Finch reveals 7 ways to find and attract positive people to date, love and marry. Claim your FREE eBook now at http://www.IFindLoveFast.com

5 Dating Pitfalls to Avoid

Mr. Perfect is hard, if not downright impossible, to find. After all, no one - male or female - is perfect. But the thing is, even if most women are prepared to endure a few dud dates for the cause of happily-ever-afterness, there's a certain subspecies of male that deserves to be given a wide, wide berth - the Date from Hell!

Of course, it would be wonderful if you never had to be in this sorry situation - ever. But, just in case you do, here's lifeline - in the form of the following five tips - to help you cope (until, at least, you can call a cab and get the hell outta there)!

1. Mr. I-Think-I'm-Jerry-Seinfeld

Where you met him: In a line at Caroline's Comedy Club, waiting for the 8pm show. He tapped you on the shoulder and said, "What's a cute gal like you doing in a line like this? Ha! Ha!" After chatting with him for about an hour (hey, you had time to kill), he asked you to the sold-out Robin Williams show next week. He seemed kind of funny, wasn't half bad-looking and didn't have "Ax Murderer" written on his forehead - so naturally you agreed to go.

The date: You agree to meet at the venue at 7:15pm, in order to have enough time before the 8pm curtain to settle in and enjoy a glass of pre-show champagne. At 7:45, you're still standing below the marquee, tapping your foot and getting more annoyed by the minute. Then, when he finally shows up five minutes before the show's about to start, he gives you a lame-o excuse as to why he's so late ("My Ferrari wouldn't start! Ha, ha!"). He then proceeds to bombard you with bad Jay Leno impressions and a slew of tasteless jokes for the rest of the evening. Needless to say, you are not amused.

Instead of shooting him, try this: Playing straight guy to his wiseacre is an exercise in futility, so, to salvage the date, try this: steer the conversation toward more serious topics so that the Seinfeld-wannabe can't continue to crack jokes. Keep the conversation flowing by asking him questions about his work, family background, hobbies and interests - anything to keep him from reaching for his invisible cue cards. If, after trying you can't get a straight answer out of the guy, try the honest approach and say, "Look, I'd like to get to know you better, but it's impossible if you're always joking." If he doesn't get the hint after that, well, bye-bye Jerry!

2. Mr. My-Place-or-Yours?

Where you met him: Against your better judgment, at a trendy cocktail bar. He was knocking back a dirty martini; you were staring at him lustfully from across the crowded room. He finally made eye contact with you and sidled over to your spot at the bar, where he asked to buy you a drink. After an hour of intense conversation - and a small amount of innocent smooching - he asked to see you again, this time for a quiet dinner at your favorite sushi place. It didn't take much convincing for you to say "YES!"

The date: He picks you up at your place, but, as soon as he walks in the door, he notices that you've neglected to fasten a button on your blouse and offers - a little too eagerly - to do it up for you. After two minutes of clumsily "looking for the buttonhole" (yeah, right!), he suggests forgoing dinner in lieu of staying in and hanging out. You have a sinking suspicion that your idea of "hanging out" (i.e., sharing a nice bottle of Merlot and talking about Proust) and his idea (i.e., partaking in some horizontal dancing on your waterbed) aren't jibing. Not at all.

Instead of shooting him, try this: Tell your date in a kind yet straightforward manner that you'd be more comfortable getting to know him in a more public place, before getting more intimate. If he apologizes and agrees to keep up his end of the bargain (meaning, going on the date he'd promised), that's great. Maybe the date just got off on the wrong foot, that's all. If he's clearly not interested in accommodating your request, or seems annoyed or perturbed in any way, you can safely assume that he wants One Thing - which is exactly what you should give him: The back of the door!

3. Mr. Set Up

Where you met him: At your front door (a blind day, unfortunately). Your mother plays bridge in Boca with his mother; they thought it would be a lovely idea if the two of you "young people" met, because you've got SO much in common - you're both single!

The date: Marvin shows up at your door right on time, proffering a bouquet of wilting carnations and an open, gap-touthed smile. Although you're not one to judge a book by its cover (that would be shallow, after all), you simply can't help it: Marvin, clearly, is an open book: In high-water Dockers, white shoes and an Lifetime NRA Member pin, he's a walking disaster. Oy vey!

Instead of shooting him, try this: Calling off the date point-blank would appear too obvious, and feel too awkward, so your best bet is to try to make the best of the situation. If you'd planned to go out of dinner, feign a stomachache and suggest going to a movie instead. Once the lights have dimmed, you can make a beeline for the concessions stand and snag some snacks. How bad can the date be with Raisinettes, Milk Duds and Twizzlers as your sidemen? And the next time your mom offers to set you up, kindly but firmly tell her that you don't do blind dates anymore. Ever.

4. Mr. Scrooge

Where you met him: At a local KFC. He was at the counter, ordering a Special Value Meal; you were sitting at a table, munching your way through a thigh-wing combo. (The diet starts tomorrow, right?). The place was packed, so he came over to your table and asked if he could join you. You were almost finished eating, so you saw no reason to refuse. After chatting for a few minutes, he asked you out for a more "decent" meal. He seemed harmless enough, so you agreed.

The date: He comes to pick you up, but then something strange happens. He reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls out a thick white envelope and starts rooting around for - can this be? - a selection of vouchers for a half-price meal at a restaurant of your choice (or at least among the choices he's got in the envelope). "I thought we could eat first," he informs you, "and then do some window shopping afterward." Aghast, you are lost for words but agree to one of the restaurants he seems to be pushing for: An all-you-can-eat Indian buffet.

At the restaurant, you fill up your plate but notice that there's no garlic nan, so you ask a waiter for an order and then inquire whether your date would like some too. "No," he answers coldly. "That costs extra."

Instead of shooting him, try this: Matter-of-factly inform him that you'll be having the garlic nan, and if it costs extra, well, you'd be more than happy to pay for it. Clearly, this man is beyond redemption, so your best bet is to chalk the date up to experience, and move on. And if you can avoid picking up men at fast-food restaurants in the future, even better.

5. The Clam

Where you met him: At your local Starbucks. He was typing wildly on his Macbook; you were admiring his keyboarding skills, and rugged good looks, from afar. After gathering your courage, you sidled up to him and asked for his opinion on Macs - over a venti skim latte, your treat. He nodded in the affirmative, and off you went to fetch two coffees.

The date: After bringing two cups of steaming joe to his table, you sit down for a chat. But Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome turns out to be the Strong Silent Type - he barely utters a word, no matter how many conversation starters you offer up. You try again. And again. And yet again. After a while, you give up. You're not Diane Sawyer!

Instead of shooting him, try this: Take a deep, cleansing breath and say, "Well, now that you've heard all about me, let's find out about YOU!" This will give him the chance to prove that he does indeed own a set of vocal chords. If this attempt to open him up shuts like a door in your face, politely excuse yourself for an "appointment" you have to go to. What's the point of dragging things out? You'll do better next time.

So, the moral of this story? It's important to try to meet a variety of men, but if you discover that someone is simply not your cup of tea, don't torture yourself. Get out while the going's good. There are plenty of fish in the sea of love!

Melissa Roske, ACC, founder of Wheels in Motion Coaching (http://www.WheelsInMotionCoaching.com), is a New York University-trained Life and Personal Coach, committed to helping clients to realize their potential and to successfully attain their goals. Certified by the International Coach Federation (ICF), Melissa is also an internationally published author, advice columnist and relationships advisor.

When Dating is All Singles Need

Singles are people who have not been lucky in life as such, but not anymore. The Internet and the ever changing needs of humans have brought before them, something that they can't just ignore as such. It is now easy to have a dating service within their reach.

They can easily change their lives and begin novel ones in the celebration of their lives. You must be very keen in the way you tackle the issue of dating and relationships since it is the one which tells you whether you will be having anything closer to a marriage anytime soon.

You have yourself to blame if you don't get a balance in your life where you are able to make dating work for you. Dating makes sure that you don't live a life where you will be having many regrets in life, and rather than all this, you are a happy person who is enjoying every silver lining in their lives. A dating service makes sure that you have all the necessary skills in handling, dating and relationships outside the dating world. You need to have all the needs that give you hope in life and strengthen every step of your life. You can't imagine yourself having something that does not make things happen as such.

You need to make sure that you have gained a lot of knowledge in dating to make everything in life matter. You need more than anything in life a person who can make you into whom, and what you really are. It is a dating service that has the audacity to change the way you live, and even in the way you make things happen. Dating is one of the things that make you weigh whether you are making any move in the right direction. It is only through dating that you are able to determine whether you love a person or not. You have yourself to blame if you don't have all that concerns love working for you. You have to give a dating site, your time and you will notice how much you have been missing in the line of intimacy.

Dating is something that makes so much sense to people when they are able to find the right person to share it with. You get to learn whether you would like to see the person you are attracted to again during a dating process. It is the reason as to why it wields a lot of importance in dating instances. The dating service gives you the courage you need in the line of relationships to make sure that all things are headed towards the right direction. It gives you the necessary knowledge and know-how to forge on with a relationship that has some promise of making it. You should know that dating is what will give you a wife or husband since it is a chance of making sure that you have the right person.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Free Online Dating Service [http://www.tomydate.com/] Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Dating Service [http://www.tomydate.com/blog/?p=7750].

Dating Tips for Guys Trying To Attract Beautiful Women

Dating can be a challenge for many guys, as there are thoughts and factors that may hinder you to pursue your plans. Sometimes you may not have the courage to go on for the fear of being rejected. But of course, there are things that can help you approach and date beautiful women. If you are looking for some dating tips for guys, read on for some that you may find useful.

- Be confident with yourself. If you don't believe yourself, you won't find yourself confident enough to face beautiful women. If you are just an average Joe, if you believe and love yourself, you can be confident around women and around other people. Of course, you also have to take note that there is a thin line between confidence and cockiness and crossing beyond that line may drive away women farther from you.

- Using the power of body language. Body language is also a very good thing to learn if you want to make the power of attraction work for you. Body language can be making eye contact, making physical contact that will not threaten the woman and in making a woman feel special. Body language can indeed make a good start in approaching women and in making connections even before you get to know her name or get her number. Of course, you can't just approach a woman and ask for her number. There are many subtle ways to help establish a connection and body language can be one.

- Using humor to captivate a woman's heart. Sense of humor can work like magic to captivate people's interests and many women's hearts, thus it pays to cultivate your sense of humor, or practice some. In fact, this is one of the top dating tips for guys. Although some men are just gifted with such great sense of humor that can capture a wide audience, you don't have to be a comedian however to pull off a good one-liner to make a woman laugh. In fact, you can learn it and with good practice, you can eventually master this skill and become someone that women love to be with all the time.

- Learn how to start and make good conversations. Good conversations are keys to making a woman fall for you. Of course, learning how to make good conversations with women is a skill that you have to master. Women love to be complimented and you also have to master how to compliment a beautiful women. Learn how to ask her questions that can make her feel special and you also take into consideration body language especially eye contact. Listening is also an important part of a good conversation and make sure you are not monopolizing the conversation of things that you like and your interests. Sometimes it pays to listen and be interested more on what your date wants to share. Good listening is also one of the good dating tips for guys to be able to create a good impression to the woman that they are interested in them.

Carolyn Anderson loves to share resources that can help you in dating and in improving your relationships. For an average Joe to attract beautiful women, check out this Dating Savant Playbook. Also learn how you can Secret Method to Attract Women to learn tips from a master pick up artist on how to date gorgeous women.

Choosing a Phone Dating Service

Phone dating is rising in popularity with studies showing that more people are joining phone chat lines each year. It is becoming such a popular way to meet singles because many people now carry cell phones with them everywhere. This gives people access to the dating line at any time of the day or night and does not require Internet access. Phone chat has not always had a good reputation, but this is starting to change and the industry is starting to prosper.

Choosing a phone dating service

It is important to realize that not every dating service is genuinely trying to help you meet people. Scams do exist and you should do everything you can to avoid them. A good way to do this is take advantage of the free trial offers that some companies use to get customers. This way you can test the service before you make a commitment to using it. You could also talk to other people and ask about which services they use and do or do not recommend. The Internet is a great place to find out this information as unsatisfied customers often leave comments online.

How to use phone chat to attract more singles

Once you have found a reputable phone dating provider, you need to sign up and complete your profile. The more information you include in it the better your chances of getting replies. This should include information about yourself along with what you are looking for in a date. Always be honest and if your provider offers online profiles include a picture as this can increase profile hits by quite a lot. Once you have done this you can either start searching though the other profiles or join a party line and talk with other members to get to know them.

Phone dating safety

As with any type of dating there are some safety tips that you need to follow when using chat lines. If you are bothered by anyone it is important to report the user to the phone dating line so they can deal with the situation. Never get into arguments or debates with other uses that could cause tension, simply hang up and dial in later. It is important to keep your personal details private until you choose to give them to another member if you want to meet them, but always meet in a public place to be safe.

Even though it is very important to be safe, the most important thing is that you have fun, meet new people and possibly even have some exciting dates in the future. If you take a little bit of time to research a quality phone chat provider and you can be sure that you will have a good time.

Find out more about genuine, quality phone dating lines and find out what everyone is talking about. The author has helped thousands of people find local phone dating lines with genuine singles waiting to chat to YOU!

Can You Still Flirt Through The Medium of Online Dating Sites?

This is a good question because it is a different challenge flirting when you can't see 80% of the communication that is going on. Do you know that 80% of your communication is non-verbal? It is quite true because those are the big signals which tell you if the person in front of you is in a good mood or stressed.And of course it is in the things that people don't say where you can learn the most! Intelligent people are able to determine this even in very brief presentations, so communication is quite important. However flirting this way is not impossible on online dating sites, in fact they are quite interesting. Here you will be focussing on that 20% of communication in black and white which hardly gives you an idea about her tone. The good part about flirting online is that you don't have to make any mistakes, everything is editable and that really helps here. Being spontaneous is not that critical when you know you have to wait a bit for a response but being able to be witty and clever in your retorts, no matter what the medium - always helps when it comes to the flirting game. Here are some important tips that you should know when you flirt on an online dating site:

Have fun! Flirting is a great leisure activity that gets your brain going. If you come up with good lines then you will really start enjoying every minute and needless to say that your date would like it too. If you don't find yourself in the mood then you won't be able to pull this off together.

Listen carefully Flirting gets easily spoiled because it is built upon a temperament. If you ruin the tempo then the flirting streak will kill itself. So make sure that you also listen carefully because those lines are the only input you are getting from her. There is nothing more annoying than finding each other on different planes after a few dialogues. This will also show that you are being respectful to her words.

Have a good profile Your online dating profile is an important selling feature. Not only is should attract people to contact you but also find reasons to flirt. If you find in your date's profile that she loves to swim, then you could always mention that later when you are having a light-hearted conversation. It really helps to know that you have done your homework and so you're not mistaken for bringing up a new subject altogether.

Confidence is paramount Your confidence will gauge how well you will flirt with your date. If you are confident then you will be able to crack really good jokes and also take up some hard hitting commentary. After all flirting is a challenge because you are attempting to come with a better comeback every time. Confidence will also help you think well when you need to be quick and smart about recalling some good ideas.

The only real advice I can give you here is to be yourself. Only by being yourself can you ever gain true confidence, besides - what's the point in spending all your time and energy getting her/him to like you for someone that you are not!?That's just crazy.

Leaving note Like all meetings, there should be a follow up note. No matter how your date went, both ends really want to know if their date had a good time. Whether your intent was for love or lust - when it comes to flirting online it is important to remember that it is the 'chase' that is as much a part of the flirt game as anything else, and you cannot have a chase without a followup - simple as that.

Make it a point to show that you had a good time and would really look forward to meet again later. This will motivate your date and probably increase the chances to meet again, if you want to of course.

Never be lonely again! Learn How to Approach Women and Pick Up Girls with the Alex Hitchens' Online Dating Masterclass.

The Dating advice you get in this course will not only show you EXACTLY how to flirt with women and pick up girls, it will also reveal secrets and methods that will give you the confidence to flirt - no matter what the medium or situation!

Gain the confidence needed to spark her interest every time and never be left out of in the cold again!

Sign up for the FREE Online Dating MasterClass, check out our collection of Funny and cheesy pick up lines or read the blog to get the latest dating advice, tips and news.

Learn the Truth About Online Dating and Get Great Tips For Dating Success!

Of all the forms of dating, online dating maybe the newest and trendiest kind that people are into today. It's not just modern, it's also wider in scope, gives better opportunities for daters, and crosses the lines of, time and space. Therefore online dating is hands down the easiest method to get to know people from all walks of life!

Now you may disagree with this fact, but you must accept it for what it is: it's a fact. Online dating is an institution that has already fostered millions of relationships globally, even transcending financial differences and issues of culture. It has promoted the concept of love being a universal phenomenon, and so it is the same everywhere. Aside from this, it has helped alleviate the conditions of the hordes of hopeless romantics just trying to find the perfect match for them. Most of those who join online dating are loving and caring people who display extremely good characteristics and traits and, most of all, they are also deserving of respect and love. And one of them may be the person you've been looking for all your life! Your soul mate! Are you excited to meet that person already? If you are, then get ready... Because that person is waiting for you too.

All you need to do is join a reputable online dating website, create your profile, upload some of your best pictures, and you got yourself in a roll. This is what's perfect about online dating - in a few clicks you can change your life and meet extraordinary people - you can even get matchmaking advice from them! People will correspond with you, and you will take initial steps getting to know them too. If you think you got a match, and you feel that this other person has something in store for you, then that's it. You are ready now set up a date with that person, though you must make sure first that this girl or guy is worthy of your trust.

After that, what do you do? What do you say after you say hello? Meeting up with somebody is easy - it's what you should do after you meet somebody that is hard. This is the part where most people make mistakes and ruin their chances while dating. Why is this so? It's because they get bad advice and sometimes rely solely on instincts that are often outrageously wrong. But we're here to save you from making those same online dating mistakes again and again!

The ultimate secret online dating tip is not how to choosing the right clothes to wear, or the right punch line to use - it's not even about having the right attitude! It's all about discovering yourself. You are the starting point of the relationship, so this is where you must first make necessary improvements. Without building a firm foundation in yourself, all your other dating strategies will fall short. And this is where we'll help you! Our dating tips are guaranteed to transform you from the inside out! The confidence you will gain from learning the secrets to dating will be so overwhelming you'd wonder why you didn't know about this before!

Our secrets to dating are very easy to understand, and can change you into a totally brand new person. Finally, you can be confident that you are truly date-able! Online dating is one side of the coin - our dating tips will complete the whole picture! Get our free secrets to dating report today, a no-risk, and great deal for you!

Learn The Secrets of Dating in our FREE Report - FREE Secrets of Dating Report

Is Dating Stressing You Out?

It's certainly normal to be anxious and even concerned about the dating process. Very few people generally want to go through the process required to find the person they're looking for. With so many potential things on the line (spouse, family, home, etc), it's easy to see why some people become nervous, or even overly anxious about dating.

Stop and think for a moment. A bad date is not the end of the world and a good date does not necessarily mean the start of a beautiful relationship. Many successful marriages started out with a bad date, and many beautiful dates have ended in unfilled marriages. Always keep those things in perspective. In order to unleash yourself from the anxiety of dating try some of these successful techniques before you go off on the date.

Relax

Relax and remember that it is after all, just a date. Listen to a MP3 or your favorite CD, read a book, and/or watch your favorite TV program. Do things that get your mind off your date so you'll be relaxed when the date begins.

Ultimately, if you've done your dating due diligence, few things can be gained or lost from one date. History is filled with couples who've been happily married even when the first date was disastrous for one or both parties. History is also equally filled with stories of people whose first dates went like a fairy tale; and marriages ended in a disaster. Bad things happen to both good and bad people. If the date didn't go as you envisioned it would, look back on the role you played (or didn't play) and see if another date is warranted, or if it really was a disaster.

Let your confidence show Both men and women are attracted to confidence. Let your confidence and not your (over confidence) arrogance. There is distinct difference between confidence and arrogance. Arrogance is displaced confidence; don't allow your self assuredness to go to you or your dates head. Know in yourself that no matter where you are going, or what you'll be doing, you can contribute equally and will be able to hold up your end of the conversation and be the equal to the person which you are dating. This confidence will shine in you and be seen by not just your date, but also by other people

Get organized Organization is a great trait to have when preparing for dates. Good organizational skills will make sure that you're not running around at the last minute checking on things here, there, and everywhere. Start your pre-date by organizing everything for the date early enough where you are not running out of time, or running behind schedule. Assure yourself that enough time to get ready for the date by knowing how long it takes you to get ready for an evening out. Check that the clothes you want to wear are clean and pressed. If meeting at someplace other than your house, make sure that you know the directions to the venue where you will meet at, and check for alternative routes in case of an emergency.

If you date is coming to pick you up, make sure that they know the best directions to get to your house and exchange appropriate contact information like mobile phones.

Have fun If the date is not going the way you wanted it to go or the person you're with is not the person whom you thought they were, nothing should stop you from enjoying the date that you're on. Missteps and bad judgments happen, and dating disasters are always a spilled drink away; however don't let a dating faux pas ruin your date. Every date you go on is a practice in the process that you go through until you're with the right person at the right time, doing all the things both of you love to do.

Don't be a stick in the mud if things aren't going your way. If life serves you a lemon of a date, you be the sugar and enjoy the lemonade.

Obi aka The Relationship Guy, provides insightful, common sense, witty, and some times sarcastic articles on love, dating, and relationships. His forthcoming book, ‘The Blueprint of Love’ goes into detail about the game of love. You can read more articles and get more information about the book by going to: [http://www.theblueprintoflove.com] You can also read his blog on married life called: Marriage 101: Lessons Learned in the First Year of Marriage

Dating Advice For Women - Dating Again After a Bad Hurt Or the Death of a Spouse

Getting over hurt after a relationship or after the death of a spouse or partner can really be difficult. These suggestions can help you:

Dealing With Hurt

Hurt is difficult to deal with. The best way to deal with it is to get back out there as soon as you can, consistent with making good sense. The fastest way to forget "him" is to start seeing some nice gentlemen, enjoying things again and finding another "him." Do not let an unrealistic focus on someone paralyze you. No one is worth that. Some women torture themselves for years over a past hurt or over not being able to have who they want. You know the line about dreams. Be careful. They might come true.

Be careful what you wish for so ardently. Have a real life instead. If you are coming from a hurtful situation, just gently tell the men you meet, as one lady did to me, that you have come off of a difficult relationship, and you need to take things slowly. If he is a good man, he will understand.

Death of A Partner

There is a different kind of hurt when someone loses their love to death. Sometimes it is sudden, which is hard to deal with emotionally, and sometimes financially. Other times it can be the result of a long illness, which can be very draining emotionally and physically. While the love who has died may be sorely missed, the very practical problem the survivor can face is loneliness. Some women cope with this by spending more time with their family and friends and taking up new interests. For some women that is enough. New relationships aren't for everyone.

I had a wonderful and cheerful aunt who was widowed for many years. She never remarried, although I'm sure she could have easily. She always seemed very content with her situation and enjoyed spending a great deal of time with her children and grandchildren. For other women though, they have a loneliness that they realize only having another love and companion can satisfy. There's a difference in being content and "contenting yourself". If what you really want is love, be open to possibilities and do something about it, and be as content with your current situation as you can be in the meantime, by actively trying to fill it with things that interest you.

Sometimes there may be a wave of "guilt" because of needing love again. There shouldn't be any. Your deceased spouse had all the time allotted to him. Hopefully, it was a good one you shared together. Keep those good memories in that special place in your heart no one can touch. (Any caring new love will be respectful enough to help you honor that.) But if your husband was truly in love with you, and sees you aching in loneliness, it is hard to imagine that a truly loving and unselfish husband wouldn't want you to be happy again. If you're thinking "You didn't know my _______. He'd never want me with anybody else. Ever." If that's the case, he'd be being pretty unfair to you and pretty selfish. He is gone and you are still here and need to have a life. And deserve to have one. Value the love you had. Remember the good times always. Then get on with your valuable time, and make love part of it again. You are worth it and you deserve it. Go for it.

Some women might say "I could never get married or have a relationship again. There will never be another love like John." That's true. There won't be. He was an original. We all are. But that doesn't mean that you can't find a different kind of love with another fine man, who has equally praiseworthy characteristics of his own, that you could build satisfying tomorrows with.

If you are widowed and lonely, I sincerely hope you will give love together with someone else a chance. If you meet the right person, he will make it easier for you to do. You may both have memories, good and not so good of the past, but together you can build a future of love and caring together. Do not feel as if you are abandoning your former time and its memories, you're just adjusting to an uncontrollable changing situation and building a new life for yourself.

And do not worry about what other people think. Sometimes children and friends are aggrieved when a widow decides to date again. They do not have the same perspective you have because of age, or because they haven't been through the experience you've been through. While they are well meaning most of the time, they are also not the ones who have to take walks alone, eat alone, spend evenings alone or go to bed without the warmth and comfort of their love next to them. Do what your heart tells you. You can be happy again. When you are, you will wonder why you didn't act sooner. Love and romance are there for the taking. Isn't now the time?

Larry Danks is the author of Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice For Women. The Table of Contents and further information is available on: [http://www.FindingTheRightManForYou.com] The book is available through Amazon.com and all leading booksellers.