Dating Advice For Women - Dating Again After a Bad Hurt Or the Death of a Spouse

Getting over hurt after a relationship or after the death of a spouse or partner can really be difficult. These suggestions can help you:

Dealing With Hurt

Hurt is difficult to deal with. The best way to deal with it is to get back out there as soon as you can, consistent with making good sense. The fastest way to forget "him" is to start seeing some nice gentlemen, enjoying things again and finding another "him." Do not let an unrealistic focus on someone paralyze you. No one is worth that. Some women torture themselves for years over a past hurt or over not being able to have who they want. You know the line about dreams. Be careful. They might come true.

Be careful what you wish for so ardently. Have a real life instead. If you are coming from a hurtful situation, just gently tell the men you meet, as one lady did to me, that you have come off of a difficult relationship, and you need to take things slowly. If he is a good man, he will understand.

Death of A Partner

There is a different kind of hurt when someone loses their love to death. Sometimes it is sudden, which is hard to deal with emotionally, and sometimes financially. Other times it can be the result of a long illness, which can be very draining emotionally and physically. While the love who has died may be sorely missed, the very practical problem the survivor can face is loneliness. Some women cope with this by spending more time with their family and friends and taking up new interests. For some women that is enough. New relationships aren't for everyone.

I had a wonderful and cheerful aunt who was widowed for many years. She never remarried, although I'm sure she could have easily. She always seemed very content with her situation and enjoyed spending a great deal of time with her children and grandchildren. For other women though, they have a loneliness that they realize only having another love and companion can satisfy. There's a difference in being content and "contenting yourself". If what you really want is love, be open to possibilities and do something about it, and be as content with your current situation as you can be in the meantime, by actively trying to fill it with things that interest you.

Sometimes there may be a wave of "guilt" because of needing love again. There shouldn't be any. Your deceased spouse had all the time allotted to him. Hopefully, it was a good one you shared together. Keep those good memories in that special place in your heart no one can touch. (Any caring new love will be respectful enough to help you honor that.) But if your husband was truly in love with you, and sees you aching in loneliness, it is hard to imagine that a truly loving and unselfish husband wouldn't want you to be happy again. If you're thinking "You didn't know my _______. He'd never want me with anybody else. Ever." If that's the case, he'd be being pretty unfair to you and pretty selfish. He is gone and you are still here and need to have a life. And deserve to have one. Value the love you had. Remember the good times always. Then get on with your valuable time, and make love part of it again. You are worth it and you deserve it. Go for it.

Some women might say "I could never get married or have a relationship again. There will never be another love like John." That's true. There won't be. He was an original. We all are. But that doesn't mean that you can't find a different kind of love with another fine man, who has equally praiseworthy characteristics of his own, that you could build satisfying tomorrows with.

If you are widowed and lonely, I sincerely hope you will give love together with someone else a chance. If you meet the right person, he will make it easier for you to do. You may both have memories, good and not so good of the past, but together you can build a future of love and caring together. Do not feel as if you are abandoning your former time and its memories, you're just adjusting to an uncontrollable changing situation and building a new life for yourself.

And do not worry about what other people think. Sometimes children and friends are aggrieved when a widow decides to date again. They do not have the same perspective you have because of age, or because they haven't been through the experience you've been through. While they are well meaning most of the time, they are also not the ones who have to take walks alone, eat alone, spend evenings alone or go to bed without the warmth and comfort of their love next to them. Do what your heart tells you. You can be happy again. When you are, you will wonder why you didn't act sooner. Love and romance are there for the taking. Isn't now the time?

Larry Danks is the author of Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice For Women. The Table of Contents and further information is available on: [http://www.FindingTheRightManForYou.com] The book is available through Amazon.com and all leading booksellers.

Useful Love Relationship Advice

There is an old wives tale that goes "there is someone for everybody." While there may be some truth to this the reality is finding that someone just right for you can be difficult. Once you've found the person you think is the one then you need to figure out how to keep love going strong. By being aware of some common issues that break couples up then you might be able to avoid being a statistic. The love advice expounded in this article is sure to be of help.

One creative and increasingly common way people are meeting is through online dating sites which are a notch above tooling the bars or night clubs. The obvious downside is that what is represented on the site may not measure up in person. If you correspond before actually meeting face to face then you may fall in love with a misrepresented actuality. This love advice does not necessarily advise this as a means to finding your soul mate. We just ask that you exercise caution and keep your expectations realistic. In finding love and holding on to it keep these things in mind.

As previously mentioned keep your expectations realistic which means knowing once the newness of the relationship has worn off you are then really getting to know each other. It is a positive instead of a negative when you start to share in what typically is perceived as mundane day to day activities as those are the things that build relationships. Don't make the mistake in thinking just because some days seem boring that the love has lost its bloom. As time goes on it will be those very days that occur more often but it is how you view them that make the difference.

An ordinary task can be made fun simply by putting on some music while you fold clothes together or bringing a cold drink out for him to enjoy while mowing the lawn. This is all part of a healthy and growing relationship. Remember to keep the lines of communication open and listen as much as you speak. Respect the fact that men and women communicate in different ways.

Another key to a mature relationship is knowing the difference between love and sex. Physical compatibility is greatly enhanced when both partners realize there is a deep commitment. Sex without love can be pleasurable but it is a fleeting physicality. I don't confess to knowing everything there is to know about love however by following my own relationship tips I enjoy a lasting and loving relationship.

Joel is an expert author whose been publishing online for several years. Visit his latest website on patio heater tables, which helps people find the best deals on a patio heater table.

Online Dating Advice - How a Dating Coach Can Help You Find Your Ultimate Happiness

Although Online Dating Sites are designed to look like a lot of fun, in truth there are hundreds of millions of dollars on the line - both from the dating sites themselves and their marketing dollars - to their members whose lives will irrevocably change as a result of the matches made there.

One in four single adults now use online dating services. At the rate the online dating industry is now growing, within five years nearly half of all singles will be using online dating sites. Millions of singles join dating sites every single day. The convenience of online dating makes it easy to meet compatible matches across town... across state... or across the country. Some of the most adventurous singles travel around the world to meet their matches! Online dating is no longer something "odd" or out of the ordinary. Today it's the standard way to start a new relationship for 25% of single adults, and it will soon become the primary way people meet in the not-too-distant future.

There's a lot of money, feelings, and life decisions resting on the success or failure of your dating efforts. And there's no reason to take these risks alone. Now there are trained professionals to help you navigate the online dating services, saving you time, money, and many unnecessary heartaches. As a Professional Dating Coach, let me share a little about what I do to help make a client's social life a bit easier.

One of the most difficult and challenging tasks faced by new online dating members is the chore of creating an Online Dating Profile. Your Dating Profile tells the world who you are, what you value, and who you're looking for in a partner.

Your Dating Profile is essentially your online calling card - it's your full-color Internet brochure that provides all of your marketing and advertising combined. Your Dating Profile, just like most Internet website pages, has to convince your reader in less than three seconds that your message is worth reading - otherwise they'll click off of your profile and move onto the next one. A boring headline, a boring first paragraph, uninteresting text in your "About Me" section - any or all of these can spell disaster for you - dashing your hopes of connecting with someone who might otherwise become your Soulmate and lifelong partner.

When you consider how important your happiness really is - a lifetime of joy with someone with whom you can travel, make love, have a family, share friends, and build a home together - would you want to leave all of this to chance? Probably not.

Enter the Dating Coach

Many people spend years and thousands of dollars preparing for the entrance exams to college. And yet when you compare your college education to the success of your marriage, which one is more important to you? There are thousands of colleges and universities, so missing one still leaves you many others to choose from. But missing the chance to meet your Soulmate may leave you with the prospect of spending your life alone - or settling for a relationship - or marriage - with someone you just don't love.

How a Dating Coach can Help

A Dating Coach can see the big picture of your life and help steer you in the right direction. Your Dating Coach will ask you probing, important questions and through his or her insights and special gifts, make suggestions that will bring out the best in you and help you express it in your Online Dating Profile for all the world to see. Although it's certainly true that you could design your Dating Profile by yourself, it is equally true that you could do many other things yourself too that you would be best advised not to. For example, successful business owners don't prepare their own tax returns - they use the professional services of an accounting firm. Most adults don't build their own homes - they hire a contractor to help them. So why would you want to build your social life by yourself when a trained professional can help you create healthy relationships by using an intelligently designed strategy instead?

Some other ways a Dating Coach can Help too

Virtually everyone has some emotional baggage from the past, which tends to color our decisions in the present. Your Dating Coach, like a trained counselor and trusted guide, will help you separate your baggage from your innate talents and gifts, so your best qualities shine through while the rest is left behind - just like separating the wheat from the chaff. Many people aren't really sure what they want in a relationship - nor whom they're most compatible with. Your Dating Coach can help make all of this clear, so the future is less cloudy and you have every reason to be optimistic about the possibilities that are waiting for you - and in some cases, right around the corner!

Jay Reiss is an Online Dating Coach who has worked with more than two thousand clients worldwide! He'll help you design your Online Dating Profile and show you how to succeed with Online Dating! He offers a free telephone coaching session (a $100.00 value - free!) and has helpful Online Dating Advice on his website: http://www.Online-Dating-Coach.com.

Ultimate Dating Tips, Advice, & Strategies For Dating Mastery!

Although this article has a lot of great dating tips, advice, and ideas, it offers much more. It gives you an education and a step-by-step strategy that you can use to dramatically improve your dating success and enjoyment.

To draw your attention to key points, you will find these markers throughout the text: (Dating Tip:) & (Dating Ideas:).

Benefits to Mastery

Most of us approach dating in a lackadaisical manner as if our actions were dictated by instincts that we have no control over, like it is with animals. The difference, of course, is that humans have an infinitely superior intelligence that provides us with the ability to think, analyze, and choose.

Mastering dating rituals and techniques can change everything in terms of how successful you are in the courting process. This includes not only having the ability to recognize early when it's time to move on, but also how to create romance and passion with the person you have determined to be a promising match. (Dating Tip:) Dating rituals and techniques create the mystery and romance that women love and render the enticement and passion that men love.

Other benefits to gaining these skills is having more poise and confidence, which translate to having more fun! The final reward is a successful dating experience with someone you recognize as being the one who's right for you!

Building from the Basics

We will develop this information from a solid foundation by building from the basics of dating. For it is through the dating basics or rituals where we will apply the techniques that we shall learn about. Even the highly experienced dating veteran will benefit from this review.

The first date can produce a wide range of feelings from extreme nervousness and apprehension to being relaxed and self-assured for the well prepared or experienced. Opinions on how the date went can also vary widely from, "I think we had a great time" to "I'm not sure if either one of us had a good time or not." The uncertainty and mixed emotions are normal. The variation to either end of the scale of possible emotions depends on how much dating experience a person has and how long it's been since they dated last.

Responsibility for at least the first several dates, even by today's standards, typically rests almost entirely on the man. Ladies can be helpful, however, by being cooperative with plans and gracious as her man tries his best to execute the various dating rituals and customs such as opening doors, ordering wine, and so forth without stumbling.

First Date

The first date should be scheduled a week to two (2) weeks in advance, and it should be on a weekday (Monday through Thursday), not Friday or Saturday night. Friday, and especially Saturday, nights are reserved for the more advanced stages of dating. If work or school schedules doesn't permit this, then a date during the day on Saturday or Sunday will work. (Dating Tip:) Incidentally, you should be trying to date several people, or at least more than one (1), during your quest. Focusing on just one person can stifle your resolve to reach your target.

Guys, you should select a particular day and time for your date in advance of asking her. If she tells you that it's not a good day, do not negotiate unless she offers a specific alternative that fits into your plan (Monday through Thursday, anytime, or Saturday or Sunday, during the day). If she doesn't offer a specific alternative (This would not include, "Call me next week."), say to her, "Perhaps some other time." That's it! (Dating Tip:) The reason for all these tactical moves is this: If she is interested, she will help make it happen by re-arranging her schedule or by offering a specific alternative. Ladies, I'm sure you will agree with this. (Dating Tip:) Gentlemen, if you do get an unclear response to your invitation for a date, then make the decision based on your gut instincts on whether you should give it a second try or move on. If the second try doesn't work, then don't waste your time, just move on! The same is true for the ladies. (Dating Tip:) If a guy is not following these guidelines by not giving you enough advanced notice, or he has no plans when he picks you up, or he's not attentive during your dates, move on! In either case, the situation for the person you are attracted to could change in the future, but for now they are probably not interested.

The destination for your date should be simple and inexpensive, but clean and nice, and in your neighborhood. There is no sense investing your time or a lot of money until you determine if you like each other. (Dating Tip:) Most women will only become uncomfortable, or perceive you as being foolish, if you spend a month's pay on the first date. (Dating Ideas:) Possible locations for a first date might be at a local tavern, a coffee house, or an inexpensive restaurant.

Your Best Act is Being Yourself

Don't try to impress your date with your money, your position, your car, or your body measurements. Using these things to win someone over will only attract those with superficial intentions. (Dating Tip:) Win them over by showing them the qualities you have inside by simply being yourself.

Actually, the most important thing you can do on a date is to be yourself. There is always the temptation to act like the "Goddess Princess" or the "Knight in Shining Armor," especially after a few drinks. There is also the tendency to go along with things that conflict with your values, or to overstate your accomplishments or virtues. Trying to be somebody you aren't will not only bind you to a pack of lies, but it will often bring about an arrogant and conceited manner in you. It's also a lot of work being someone you're not. Wouldn't you rather have someone fall in love with you as you truly are? Of course you would! So do it. Be yourself!

Attraction Intoxication

Although you may be intoxicated by the beautiful or handsome appearance of your date, do not reveal the full extent of your feelings just yet. Save that for the right moment several dates down the road. Just say, "You look very nice this evening." and leave it at that. (Dating Tip:) In regard to sexual innuendoes, they have no place during the early stages of dating. They can be offensive to women, and sometimes to men as well.

Do not permit physical attraction (or lust) to cloud your judgment. When this happens, your vision begins to fade away, and you risk the chance of fooling yourself into believing that you have found the one who's right for you. Don't allow physical attraction to obscure your emotional requirements. Because when you find someone who satisfies both, the fireworks will be a continuous grand finale', and not a brief show followed by a string of duds. So don't settle for an individual who falls short of your vision. (Dating Tip:) To quickly determine if someone meets our criteria, we need to pay attention to our intuition and not be timid about attempting to determine their true character through tactful questions.

Tactical Questions

Keep the conversation light during the first few dates, but try to tactfully find out if your date has the qualities you seek in a partner or friend. (Dating Tip:) And don't tell them your whole life story and all your intimate secrets right away. Prolong the mystery. In fact, always try to maintain some degree of anonymity in some area of your personality or life, as it naturally provokes more excitement. Mystery is a mental aphrodisiac!

Take notice of your date's personality attributes and how they demonstrate their values through their actions and unrehearsed comments. Then ask yourself, "Do their responses reflect my values?" Human resource professionals carefully use crafted questions to get people to talk about themselves while they unwittingly reveal key aspects of their character. (Dating Tip:) Questions like these, used in a date setting, can also be revealing as well as lead to stimulating conversation.

On the first few dates, your questions should be geared toward discovering what you have in common and generating stimulating conversation. Save the more probing and tactical questions for a later time down the road. Typical questions might include:

- Where did you grow up?

- Do you have brothers/sisters?

- Where did you go to high school/college?

- What are your favorite movies?

- What are your favorite songs?

- What are your favorite sports?

- What type of books do you read?

More probing questions, which tend to reveal a lot about a person, should not occur until the third or fourth date. You can keep them from sounding like interview questions by presenting them playfully in a game-like manner. Probing questions might include:

- Where do you see yourself in three (3) to five (5) years?

- Using single words, how would you describe yourself?

- What's your greatest achievement?

- What's your greatest disappointment?

- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

- What is your best attribute?

Here are a few words of caution regarding the use of questions. (Dating Tip:) If you're dating more than one person at the same time, and you have any tendency to get confused about what you've talked about with each individual, I would suggest that you make notes on what you talked about in your journal or calendar. Nothing is more disappointing to a date than when it is discovered that you can't remember what you spoke to them about. (Dating Tip:) On the other hand, nothing is more charming to them than when you remember specific details about your conversation.

At the End & Before the Next Date

Gentlemen, if when saying good night on the first date you feel a kiss might be appropriate, kiss her once to the duration that feels right. (Dating Tip:) Then say good night, turn, and walk away. Do not linger, talk more, try to kiss her again, or ask her for a second date!

Ladies, be sure to thank your date for the things that he bought you during the date. Be sensitive to the fact that dating is expensive and you never know how deep a man is going into his current budget to take you out.

Wait a few days and think it over. Is he or she worth pursuing? If so, gentlemen call her about a week later and schedule the second date for around a week from then. (Dating Tip:) Ladies if you haven't heard from him within two (2) weeks, move on! Don't allow yourself to take it personally, even if you had a great time! Don't waste your time trying to figure it out. Just get yourself back out there! Ladies, if you're the one who's not interested, simply refuse his offer for a date, even if you don't have a date for the company Christmas party! You'd make a much better impression on your friends and management if you were there with someone who was truly right for you!

Second Date

The second date should be advanced one more step by scheduling it later in the week on a Thursday or Friday evening, or Sunday, but not Saturday night! The destination should remain inexpensive, but slightly more adventuresome. (Dating Ideas:) Perhaps a light dinner at a unique sandwich or coffee shop, a movie, a special ice cream parlor, and/or a walking tour through a popular area with a lot of interesting stores.

The goodbye kiss on the second date can last a little longer, or a kiss or two (2) during the date is OK, but don't draw them out for too long. (Dating Tip:) Build up to that. Then later on down the line, after your friendship and feelings have been established, the long romantic kiss will be very heartfelt and memorable. If rushed, there's the possibility that the progress of your relationship development may not match, resulting in an awkward moment. So let interest, excitement, and romance develop at its own pace and give your partner/friend something to think about between dates! (Dating Tip:) Gentlemen, after the goodnight kiss, if there is one (some people take longer and that's OK too), say good night and leave. Do not linger! And do not schedule the next date then. Wait! Waiting not only gives you a cooling off period to get your head straight, but it also builds excitement and romance.

Third Date

If things seem to be advancing well and your date appears to fit your criteria so far, gentlemen, ask her for a third date after about a week and schedule it approximately a week in advance. And elevate the courting process to the next level, perhaps a Friday or even a Saturday night! (Dating Ideas:) Dinner and dancing, or dinner and a movie are good choices.

Ladies, if he doesn't meet your criteria at this point, move on! (Dating Tip:) Don't think that you can change him! Instead of wasting time, get back out there! If he calls, just tell him that your situation has changed and you're no longer available. If he's persistent, be honest, but also remember to be kind and empathetic. Just tell him something like, "I think we would both be happier with someone else."

I am placing more emphasis at this point on the ladies decision on whether they should move on because women typically have better judgment than men during the early stages of dating. Later on, it switches.

Dancing Expresses the Heart

I am going to change directions for a couple of minutes to provide you with some important and exciting thoughts about dancing. Let me start by giving you a bit of history on dancing. Humans have been dancing for thousands of years. Many different forms and uses evolved along with the development of human society. Although dancing was used for a wide variety of situations, its underlining purpose in most of them was to inspire and to gain unity of thought or focus. Male warriors danced together to strengthen one another, females danced together to support one another, spiritual leaders danced to achieve a closer connection with their higher power, and lovers danced together to celebrate, connect, and express their affections for each other.

I would suspect that the greatest number of dance variations, especially in modern society, exist between men and women. There's the waltz, the tango, the swing, the two-step, and many more. My favorite is the free-style dance that you might see in a nightclub, because it allows complete freedom to express your individuality.

Whatever your tastes are in dance, what is important is whether or not you and your partner/friend harmonize in style, rhythm, and tempo. (Dating Tip:) If not, it is very likely that you will not harmonize in other major areas of your relationship as well, but especially in the area of romantic compatibility.

Think back. Have you ever danced with someone who seemed to be dancing alone? They moved in a manner and speed that was way out of rhythm from yours? Have you ever danced with someone who forcibly led with his or her own style without regard to whether you were following or enjoying it? Have you ever noticed how this same person tried to control everything off the dance floor as well? It's very uncomfortable to be in these situations and not enjoyable or fun as it should be.

In contrast, when you find someone who harmonizes with your dancing style, the activity can be both fun and erotic! You will also find that you get along, almost mysteriously well, off the dance floor as well! If you can't fully appreciate the amorous and romantic aspects of dancing, rent the movie "Dirty Dancing."

You can see then that the way a person dances is really an expression of their internal self. (Dating Tip:) Therefore, it is important to zero in on this aspect of your interactions when you're with someone. Don't settle for less, either. Dancing with the one who's right can be absolutely magical! And your dancing skills really have little to do with it. Now let's return to our main topic.

Evaluate Your Aim

After the third date, it's time to consider if you should continue dating this person or not. (Dating Tip:) Start by reviewing your criteria for an ideal partner or friend and comparing it to the person you've been seeing. If you have not yet created a list of criteria for your perfect partner, I would strongly suggest that you do.

Do not rationalize! Think carefully about your evaluation and then make a decision to continue or move on. And stick to it! Incidentally, this choice becomes a lot easier if you're dating more than one person at the same time, which is highly recommended.

Reality before Sex

If you've decided to proceed, and you feel sex is a possibility, it's time to revisit reality, and discuss contraception and protection from sexually transmitted diseases (STD's). This would be appropriate for couples of any age. (Dating Tip:) You may feel uncomfortable with the thought of discussing these subjects with your partner/friend, but it's your life and these issues must be resolved. One bad choice in this area can instantly ruin your life forever!

(Dating Tip:) I would strongly suggest no matter how truthful, safe, and healthy your partner/friend seems, that you make certain that an adequate birth control method is being used, and that you both get tested for STD's before your first sexual encounter. If you don't have medical insurance to cover these expenses, most local health departments offer birth control counseling and STD testing for free or at a nominal fee.

Fourth through Sixth Date

If you're ready to move on to dates four (4) through six (6) it's time to start planning some adventures. (Dating Ideas:) Guys, get creative and do some research to find some unique restaurants and activities such as dinner cruises, plays, concerts, or special events. Concentrate on the activities that would take you outside of the area where your date lives or works. Your objective is to create unique, memorable, and adventurous experiences together.

After the sixth date, it's time (once again) to consider whether or not you want to continue dating this person. (Dating Tip:) Again, review your criteria for an ideal partner or friend. At this point, it may be more difficult to break away or think clearly, especially if you've been intimate and your weekends are no longer lonely but filled with the excitement of dating! Think carefully about your evaluation, and then go with your gut instincts as to whether you should continue or end it. Keep in mind that it's a lot easier to end a relationship in the early stages than later. In fact, as time goes on, it gets progressively more difficult. So give it serious consideration, and don't allow a temporary good time to postpone your discovery of the one who's right! If you decide to continue though, do so with gusto!

Seventh through Ninth Date

If you decide to move on to dates seven (7) through nine (9), it's time for some trips, some introductions into your personal world, and some romantic activities. Ladies, at this point, it would be fitting for you to start planning an activity every once in a while, where you pay for a portion or all of the expense. Even if it's just a home-cooked meal, most men will love it! (Dating Tip:) Guys, some brainstorming and research may be required here. Also, planning an activity together might be appropriate, allow you to see how you work together, and may result in a truly memorable experience!

(Dating Ideas:) Trips might include an entire day (or evening) at an amusement park, cultural center, a specialty show, a zoo, or a museum. For those who are more sports orientated, a day of snow or water skiing, sailing, golf, or tennis may be more of an appeal. (Dating Tip:) Exposure to each other's personal world is necessary so that you can thoroughly assess the integrity of your matching. This means that you need to introduce your partner/friend to a couple of people and activities that are important to you in your life. Then you will need to do the same with your partner/friend and gain exposure to key people and activities in their life. (Dating Tip:) You will then be able to determine whether or not your two (2) lives will blend together successfully. (Dating Ideas:) Romantic activities can vary from a walk on the beach, a picnic in the country, or a candle light dinner at home to those of greater intimacy such as a weekend at a resort.

After the ninth (9th) date, it's time (once again) to evaluate whether or not you want to continue the relationship. (Dating Tip:) Again, review your criteria for an ideal partner or friend.

At this point, the idea of breaking it off can be painful. But if it's not working by now, I can assure you, it probably never will! So if your evaluations on this person are coming out poorly and they have few, if any, of the qualities you "must have" or "cannot have" in a relationship then you need to face facts. (Dating Tip:) Don't rationalize! Don't sell yourself short! And don't waste anymore time! Think carefully about the conclusions you came to in your evaluation. Make a decision, and don't look back!

If, on the other hand, you determine that the person you are dating matches your criteria for an ideal partner or friend, and you feel that the chemistry is right, then continue on without fear, without hesitation, and without measure of what you expect to receive in return!

Brad Paul

Solotopia.com

Copyright c Brad Paul

To learn more about rejection and how be unaffected by it read my article on the Solotopia website entitled, "How to Handle Rejection."

To learn more about how to use intuition read my article on the Solotopia website entitled, "Intuition - How to Access, Recognize, & Trust It."

For more dating questions read my article on the Solotopia website entitled, "Dating Questions for Successful Relationships - 80 Tactical Questions."

To learn how to create a list of criteria for your perfect partner read my article on the Solotopia website entitled, "How to Find Love with the Person Who's Right for You."

There are links to the above titles in the original article on the Solotopia website. To go there, click: http://www.solotopia.com/dating-tips.html

To see a list of all articles by category at Solotopia.com, click: http://www.solotopia.com/dating-articles.html

Brad Paul is the founder of Solotopia.com, which provides FREE resources for being single successfully whether a person chooses to remain unattached, just date, or find a perfect partner.

Brad began learning about the needs of singles as he built and led a unique, highly successful non-profit singles organization. He refined his knowledge about singles as he researched and wrote books on finding a perfect partner and couple's communication. Before changing careers, he headed a marketing group responsible for generating $400 million dollars in annual sales.

Dating Advice for Single Parents

If you're a single parent and trying to date it can be tough Thinking about dating and having the time to date sometimes seem as far apart as East is from West. Questions run through your mind...

Am I being selfish?

Do I have the time?

Who is going to watch the kids?

It's been so long. Do I even know how to date?

It can seem overwhelming and look like a far away dream if you didn't have anyone to guide you. Lucky for you , we've picked the minds of successful single dating parents and put together an action plan that will make dating fun, safe and rewarding.

The Action Plan

Your action plan is made up of five simple steps. Each step is designed to build upon the previous one. The goal is for you to spend time with quality dates that respect you and your situation. You will put your plan on paper. Why? Writing takes your plans out of the world of thought and brings it into the world of reality. Get your paper and pencil and let's begin!

Step 1. Asses your situation.

Do you really have the time to date? As a single parent your activities revolve around your kids. Caring for a even a single child is a full time effort. If you have more than one child your workload multiplies. If you decide to date you'll need to create flexibility in your weekly plans and plan in advance. It takes time to find love. If you want love...make the time. Write down the time available each week that you think you can devote to dating. Schedule it.

Step 2. What do you want?

What type of relationship do you want? Are you looking for short term relationships? Long term? Committed? Non-committed? Do you have a time line? Biological ticking clock? What type of person do you want? Tall? Short? Loves to travel? Stay at home type? Christian? Family oriented? Good family relationships? Be honest with yourself. Consult your heart and your head and create the profile of the perfect person for you. Don't leave anything out. List the qualities you admire. The type of family you want them to come from. The color of their eyes etc. The more specific the better. Make it as detailed as possible. A crystal clear target is much easier to hit than an out of focus one. Cupid has the arrow. Help him out and provide the target. Again, write it down. Once your have a clear picture of what you're looking for it's time to find them.

Step 3. Find a date.

There are three places you will go to find a great date. The first and the easiest is a dating website. Yes there are thousands of websites out there. Some great. Some not so great. Read a review of the best dating websites and choose the ones that meet your criteria and join 2-3 of them. Why 2-3? To increase your chances of a match of course. Having your profile/ad in 2-3 dating website substantially increases the odds of a great match. Successful daters play the odds in their favor. Another advantage to dating websites is that you meet people 24 hours a day. Seven days a week. You can view their profiles and if you don't like what you see...delete them! Pick only the best.

The second place you'll go for dates are your family and friends. They know you and your life circumstances. They only wish the best for you. Let them know you're looking for a date and what you're looking for (pull the profile sheet out). Let them look for you. The odds are that you'll have a date within a week. Two weeks tops.

The third place to look for dates is anywhere that you happen to be. You never know where love hangs out. Be open to new experiences and new people.

Step 4. Separate prospects from suspects.

If you followed step three you'll be getting a number of potential dates. The task now is to separate the good(prospects) from the bad(suspects).

As a dating single parent your first job is to protect yourself and your child from anyone that would do anyone of you harm. Safety will be your first screen. If you know the persons full name check to see if this person is a sex offender. Your state may have a registry where you can check for free. Better safe than sorry.

If it's a dating website candidate spend time to get to know the person via e-mail first. The rule is give just general information (no phone numbers, last names, addresses etc) until you get to know the person over a period of time. Minimum two to three months. If they can't wait that long then move them to the suspect file and delete them.

If this is a blind date from your family and friends get ALL the information you can on the person. This would be a good time to write down some questions that you'd like to ask your potential date. Nothing like being prepared. Talk on the phone first. Ask questions to determine if there is some broad based compatibility. Do you like the same things? Dislike the same things? The closer you can match these the happier you'll be.

Once you've done your homework it's time to go on a date. WooHoo!

Step 5. Date!

The first rule is be yourself. The second rule is have fun. If you can follow those two rules you'll have a great time. To ensure that you have a safe and fun time follow these rules.

1)Always let someone know who you're going out with. Where you'll be going. What time to expect you home.

2)Bring your cell phone. If you don't have a cell phone. Get one. They're cheap. No reason not to have one.

3)Always meet in a public place for your first meeting.

4)Arrange a date dump call. Arrange for someone to call you mid way through your date. Prearrange a code word to let them know that your date is going well or not. This is your opportunity to dump your date if you're bored to tears.

5)Consider having your date somewhere you can talk. Like over dinner or maybe a lunch date. Avoid movies on the first date because it doesn't allow you the opportunity to get to know someone. At a movie you get to sit silently for two hours listening to the person behind crunch popcorn and slurp their five gallon bucket of soda. How fun is that!

Being a single parent doesn't mean shutting your heart down. Despite having your kid(s) fill every minute of your waking day you still have a longing in your heart for that special someone.

If not for love...maybe just for a good adult conversation over a warm cup of coffee. Good luck in your dating!

James Lindsey is a writer and publisher that takes the mystery out of dating and finding lasting love. His work can be enjoyed at his website [http://www.RomanceRebel.com].

Dating Advice! Where Safety Always Comes First

Dating advice for people dating online, where safe dating will always be a priority!

For many of you that are starting to move from the traditional local dating avenues to find relationships and love, and are now using dating online as your source, keep in mind that common sense must still be an important element when involving your dating relationships online.

Before you decide what dating sites to use, make sure you read their dating tips that provide valuable information on how to best keep you safe. Some will send you articles and newsletters and provide tips online to keep you up to date on security issues. Even if you're fully aware of the bad things that can occur out there, it's always good to have a site that cares enough to remind you from time to time.

If safety is a major priority and concern as you venture online, there are many available dating sites that focus on your privacy and well being, as well as having all the proper screening tools. You will find dating information in more detail directly on their sites, and you will see that they will emphasize the key features they use to assist in providing a peace of mind experience.

Take the time to read their articles; they may give you valuable tips from finding love to how to keep safe while dating people on the Internet. If they have member profiles issuing testimonials on their experiences, read them and see how they like the service offered.

Even though women have built in instincts, it's always good to be reminded that online relationships should be treated with a careful approach, just the same if you were to meet singles in your own community. Once you become a member, make sure the dating company has blocking features for the emails, and that they keep your email address confidential. This should also apply to the personals, and chat services. On your end make sure you never provide personal contact information, full name, and never give out your home phone number!

Another important detail to remember is if you ever feel uncomfortable with a member that could be a little too aggressive, or is presenting something that is false, make sure you contact the dating company's customer service assistance line and advise them of the actions. This is imperative to eliminate the bad apples out there, so you can enjoy your dating relationships online to find romance and love!

William Parise is owner/operator of BilMar WebPublishing.com. Where he provides his clients quality blog and article content, professional website template designs, and full online SEO and Marketing support. With the combination of article content on a variety of topics, and with his companies valuable online monthly marketing services, William can provide his clients a complete online Website package, including quality written content that is extremely important in promoting blogs and websites, which is necessary in achieving the desired traffic needed to gain online presence over the Internet.

Online Dating Tips & Internet Dating Advice

With dating online becoming more and more apparent and frequent these days. Online dating has become more popular then in past. Some would say you are a loser for having any dating personals online. But now it's just no big deal and very common. With peoples work schedule and tired of the bar scene people are seeking companionship online. So with that said You can never say to much about it being safe. There are some common rules to follow and if you follow these you should be less likely to have any bad experience online. Unless he or she is not what they claim to look like in there profile. Which is a whole other story. I have found six common rules to follow.

1. Be a Skeptic

Here's a place where the old adage "Don't believe everything you read" most definitely applies. People lie on-line just as they do in real life. Areas to be particularly cautious about: Marital status and physical appearance. "Look at your own past experiences in meeting people," suggests Sharon Wolf, author of Guerrilla Dating Tactics: Strategies, Tips and Secrets for Finding Romance (Plume/Penguin). "Have you generally had good judgment about people? If so, then you can rely on it here too. If not, proceed with caution, and perhaps turn to a friend to help you evaluate someone you have met on-line."

2. Use Tools Wisely

Some on-line personals sites allow you to send and receive e-mail without using your real address. Take advantage of this option if you can. Then use e-mail to get a sense of a person before you further the relationship. "Begin to (anonymously) e-mail back and forth, and learn about the context this person operates in," suggests Wolf. "Where did he grow up? Where does she work? Who are his friends and family? How is she connected to the community in which she lives?" Learning about a persons connections with others is an important way to suss out who they really are.

3. Ring My Bell

The phone reveals a lot about a persons social skills, and their ability to communicate spontaneously. But do it on your nickel; don't rush to give a stranger your phone number. Now that you're voice-to-voice, if not yet face-to-face, give yourself the opportunity to get a good feeling for what someone is like before you decide you would like to meet.

4. Resist the Hard Sell

If you are getting pressured to get together, that's probably a good sign that this is a person you want to steer clear of. Also, continue to keep your antennae up. If, as you are getting to know each other, anything seems off, bow out gracefully.

5. Separate Fantasy From Reality

If e-mail has a downside, it's that it allows you to build up a false sense of intimacy with someone. "A person who writes great e-mail is not necessarily a great person," points out Laura Banks, author of Love On-line (Career Press). No matter how wonderful your e-mail correspondent may seem, try to keep some distance - the minute you hear his or her voice, or meet in person, the whole thing may seem wrong. Don't allow your hopes about this person to obscure what you really feel.

6. Use Common Sense

When it is time to meet in the real world, use these hard and fast rules: Don't give out your home or office address; meet in a busy public place during daylight hours; use your own transportation to and from the date; tell a friend where and when you are going; and check in when you get back. There will be plenty of time for moonlight walks later on!

I sincerely hope this helps and help enjoy your online dating experience.

Adult Personals A nice place online to meet that perfect man or woman. Adult Dating

Expert Dating Advice - Tips For Successful Dating

Finding great dating advice can come from some unexpected sources. When was the last time you talked to your grandmother about her early years with your grandfather? Or picked your Great Aunt Hazel's brain about what makes the perfect man? Perhaps you think that your older family members know nothing about dating in the 21st Century, nothing about sex and love, nothing about how to make a relationship successful. But they were once just like you - single and dating - and they have learned the secrets of falling in love and staying that way through good, bad, and ugly. Look no further than your own kitchen table at Thanksgiving for some of the best dating advice you'll ever get.

Another great dating advice resource is your neighborhood bookstore. Visit any bookstore and you'll find shelves overflowing with titles offering advice on dating, love, marriage, and sex. For unique dates that won't break the bank, try Michael Webb's book 300 Creative Dates: The World's Most Romantic, Unique and Fun Dating Ideas, which promises to offer 300 dates that will cost you $20 or less. Or John Gray's book Mars and Venus on a Date, a book designed to help dating couples strengthen their relationships and get to know each other better. Browse through Amazon.com for even more ideas; if you're embarrassed to buy self-help books in a store, these can be sent directly to your home. Books like these will give you insight into your own personality, needs and interests, and will provide you with that much-needed advice on how to keep your dating relationship going strong.

The Internet is an obvious choice, with thousands of web sites devoted to finding and keeping a mate, but simply typing "dating advice" into a search engine will yield far more choices than one lovelorn singleton could ever possibly read. Match.com offers its own on-line dating magazine called Happen, and AskMen.com gives dating advice from a purely guy point of view. John Gray has his own web site, MarsVenus.com. Do a little more digging and you'll find on-line diaries and personal blogs from people out there in the dating trenches talking about what's working for them - and what really isn't.

Still desperately seeking dating advice? Here's a novel idea: try talking to the person you're dating! Surely your one-and-only will know her idea of a romantic getaway or what she'd like for her birthday. Your boyfriend may be slow to answer but will eventually respond when you ask him if he's ready to stop seeing other people. Truth be told, all the dating advice in the world won't do you any good unless you can simply talk to your partner. And if you can get that much right, you're already on very solid ground. In no time at all, your friends and family will be coming to you for dating advice! You and your very happy honey will be the resident experts on the subject

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Dating Advice - 10 Signs You're Too Good For Them

When we meet someone new, we always want to assume the best and give them the benefit of the doubt. But what happens when more and more doubt keeps piling up. No one likes to think that the person they're in a relationship might be a bad choice. After all, it reflects badly on us that we chose them. But sometimes you have to step back and take a good hard look at the person your with. You'll need to ask your self this tough, yet important question. Am I too good for them? It's not an easy one to answer, but it can make a big impact on your future happiness. If it saves you from wasting time in a terrible relationship, then your overall life will dramatically improve. So here are 10 tell-tail signs to be on the look out for.

1- Their Looks Are The Best Thing They Have Going For Them

Human beings are very visual by nature. In fact, it's estimated that 90% of the input we receive from the world is visually. Plus, on a subconscious level, many of the things that we find physically attractive relate to sings of good health. So, it's only natural that we want to be physically attracted to our partner. But if being beautiful is the best thing they have going for themselves, then you could be for some hard times ahead. If you're looking for a relationship that can last, then you're going to need more than a pretty face. Do they have good character, social intuition, good judgment, a sense of humor and any goals in life? Are they good at handling money and making smart choices in general? If the answer to most or all of these is "no", that could be a sign that they are a bad choice.

2- Your Friends Don't Like Them

You're friends probably know you better than anyone. They're the ones who've stuck with you through thick and thin. They are the people in your life who where here long before the person you're now dating came along. And (hopefully), they'll be here to help you pick up the pieces after it all falls apart. That said, you're friends usually will have your best interest at heart. If one of your friends doesn't like the person you're dating, you could think of it as sort of a one-off type situation. However, if the collective decision by all your close friends is that they don't like the person, then you might want to really take that to heart.

3- They Don't Know Where They're Going In Life

Some people seem to be born knowing exactly what they want to do in life. Others of us don't figure it out until later on. There's a difference between being 18 and not sure what you want to do in life and being 30 and still living in your patents basement. Does the person your dating have any drive or ambition in life at all? If not, then the best thing they have going on in life might be you. That's still not a good enough reason to stay with them. Even if they haven't yet achieved their dreams or found success, they should at least be working towards it. If their biggest goal in life is to party and play X-Box all day, that's a very bad sign. The long and the short of it is that if you're life is in full sail and theirs is still stuck in port, it may be a big incompatibility issue for your relationship.

4- You're Always Encouraging Them

This sort of ties into the #3 (They Don't Know Where They're Going In Life). You've worked really hard to get somewhere with your life, so shouldn't you want the same in your partner? Do they seem completely unmotivated and directionless? It's not a good sign for your relationship if you are constantly trying to push or encourage them to do something with their life. It's really a question about what YOU really want out of life and if their goals line up with yours.

5- You Always Have To Explain Everything to Them

One time I was dating a girl (let's call her Kelly). Everything seemed to be going great, until one day we were talking after work. I'd spent the whole date a trade convention down town. I was telling her about my day and she said, "um... what's a convention". Wow, was this girl dumb or what? I really, really wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but wow. That's when I knew our relationship wasn't going to last long. You should feel that you're on the same intellectual leave as them, or it could make it very hard to connect with them in any really meaningful way.

6- They Drive You Crazy

Have you ever dating someone who you're really into but did things that got under your skin? Well I have, and I can tell you that it can be a really tough situation. Let's call her Angie, and not only did she drive my friends crazy, but she had a way of making me nuts. On one hand, she was incredibly hot, but her biggest downfall was what I liked to call "foot-in-mouth" disease. The part of her brain that is supposed to stop her from saying inappropriate things out in public seemed to be broken. We would be out with friends or co-workers and she'd spontaneously blurt out things I'd privately told her. Talk about an awkward situation.

7- They Can't Afford To Pay for Anything

Does the person you're dating never seem to have any money? Do you always have to pay for everything? I'm a little old-fashioned and think the guy should pay on the first couple of dates. However, if you've been going out for a while, it's only reasonable that the girl would pay sometimes too. If the person you're dating is constantly broke or having money problems, it can put a damper on your relationship. Not only will you get tired of hearing about it all the time, but what does that say about their skills at handling money or planning for the future.

8- You Always Have To Dumb Down The Conversations For Them

This is probably different for everyone, depending on how brainy you consider yourself. Try to imagine going through life having to explain even the simplest, most basic things to someone as if they had the IQ of a 3rd grader. No matter how attractive or fun you think they are, this will still start to get on your nerves after a while. After a while, even the best sex in the world won't make up for this. The best solution is to try and find someone who's on the same intellectual playing field as you.

9- Mental/Anger Issues

Love really can be blind. When you're into someone, it's easy to overlook their short-comings and bad habits. However, this is not one that you should just let slide. If they are dealing with anger issues or are mentally unstable, it's going to lead to big problems down the road. These are probably deeply rooted issues that you're not going to be able to change. It's better to find out about things like this sooner rather than latter. These types of issues are not likely to get better over time, but will probably get worst. Plus, there are so many other people out there, that it's not worth sticking it out with someone who has these types of issues. It can bring you a lot of unhappiness.

10- Poor Hygiene or No Pride In Their Appearance

This should just go without saying. It's not a good sign if since you've started dating, their personal hygiene and over all appearance has dramatically degraded over time. It could be a question of overall ambition and motivation in life. Or it could be that they really just don't care. Either way, you just have to ask yourself if that is what you really want in the person you're dating?

Find more great dating advice at FreshDate: The Free Dating Website.

Dating Advice - Good Men Are Alive and Well - Weed Through the Trash and Spot a Great Catch

Had your share of relationship woes? Tired of dating frogs? Are all the good men married or dead? Have the aliens abducted all the good guys? If you feel this is your life, hang on. If you can answer yes to any of these questions, do not run away. I have some solutions. Grabbing a great guy is not so hard if you know what to look for. Here is some help:

Take your time getting to know any new person. That goes for guys and gals alike. Far too often we rush forward with just good feelings to guide us. There is much more to a good relationship that just feelings.

Since you are taking your time, your being observant and using your effective listening skills, you can train yourself to pay attention to this:

Are you a priority in this man's life? That is one way of knowing if you are important to him.





Is he committed to your well-being? He has good potential if he takes you into account when he decides to do things. On a work night, a great guy will not try to keep you out till 3am.





Does he take into account what is good for you as well as what is good for him?





Does his listen to you to find out what your needs and desires are?





Do his actions match what he says? Look carefully here ladies. Talk is cheap; actions speak much louder than words. Women love to be soothed with sweet words. Wake up and check out what he does. If it al lines up, he may just be a prince.





Does he keep his promises to you? Or is he full of excuses?





What does he say to his friends and family about you? Is he kind and complimentary about you to others?





Does he have a healthy bond with his mom? Does he respect his Mother?

I'd like to offer you free access to our wonderful relationship tool. It is our Relationship Start-Up Guide: 50 Things You Should Know Before Starting a Relationship. You can pick up your copy at http://www.RelationshipAdviceHeadquarters.com

From Bj Moorer and http://www.RelationshipAdviceHeadquarters.com

Dating Advice: 5 Biggest Internet Dating Mistakes

Dating after a divorce is tough. You don't quite know where to start so here are a few internet dating mistakes and their solutions.

1. Too much too soon

So you have been ploughing through those endless profiles on your internet dating site and have come up with someone who interests you. There has been an exchange of emails. He sounds fun and witty and you begin to look forward to his messages. You find yourself getting up earlier in the morning just to log on whilst you drink your coffee to see if he has sent a response to your latest remarks. During the day you compile witty replies in your head and suggestive lines to throw his way. This has gone on for a couple of weeks and he suddenly asks if he can call you. Your chest expands; you are really excited and arrange a time. Now you are curled up in your favourite chair waiting for the call. Guess what it goes well, the same light banter, his voice is not what you expect but that is OK. You talk for an hour. This becomes a daily ritual which you begin to plan your time around. And then he invites you to dinner...

2. Throwing money at it

It has been a while since someone invited you out to dinner (you may be just starting dating after your divorce). Your immediate thought is what to wear, need my hair done etc. This means that you spend the best part of a week running around with the one thought in your mind "I must get this right". You seem to have disappeared and you feel that you need to invent a new person to go on this date. In order to be that person you have to package yourself in some particular way. There must be some key that you can find, a particular dress, new haircut etc. You believe that you need to make yourself more appealing.

3. Thinking that you know the person

The evening has arrived and you meet at the arranged restaurant (good step, as all the dating advice recommends that you meet in a public place). You are especially nervous and excited but also slightly uncomfortable because the shoes are new and you feel a bit wobbly in them. It is strange you recognise this person but at the same time you don't. The voice you know that but he does not look like the person in the photograph, taller, shorter a bit heavier or gangly something is not as you imagined. Anyway he seems quite at ease but maybe that is just a contrast to how you are feeling. Initially conversation is going well as there are points of contact from your previous conversations but it isn't going anywhere. By the main course you are starting to drink a little too much to fill in the silences. Your feet really hurt now and you are taking surreptitious glances at your watch - only 9 o'clock. No dessert thanks and by the way you have an early startin the office tomorrow so you have to go soon. Can't think of anything but getting out of the shoes. Yes it was good, do call me...

4. Fantasy - it's only in your head

Next day or later in the week, the emails/calls are still coming and you continue to respond. It's a though you have never met and you can get on with the easy going repartee that has become almost a habit. In your mind he is something you want him to be, well not quite but you can have yourself believe that he is whilst you exchange messages and late night calls. You are starting to develop a whole life in your head around this person, you imagine where you can live with him, what you will do, holidays together in fact everything you ever want with someone. This is taking up a lot of head space but that is enjoyable in itself, you feel connected to someone if only in your mind.

5. Not paying attention to the signals

A week or so more and you are becoming slightly irritated by the emails and are not responding quite so readily. But he asks you if you want to come out for another evening and that heart leaps to your throat again. You agree even though there is a vague memory of discomfort from the first meeting. Well you remind yourself that all the dating advice recommends that it is aout getting to know someone. I can't expect to feel comfortable about everything immediately. He is suggesting dinner again, you don't really want to but you are not sure what you want to do so you go along with it. You had arranged to see a girl-friend that night but you tell her you can't make it, she seems a bit put-out but you put that thought aside.The second evening seems very long.

Too much too soon - It is so tempting to put all your focus on one person at a time when you are looking to date on the internet. But it is important to remember that not

only are all those people out there looking at numerous people at any one time but you could be too. If you put most of your time and energy into any one contact at a very early stage this means that you cannot scout, screen and sort other possible people.

Dating Advice: Don't make a big investment emotionally in any relationship without solid foundations.

Throwing money at it - Recent research has revealed that online daters are spending up to £1,500 a month taking out people who they realise, after the first 15 minutes

are not for them. (Independent, June 2005) Remember be authentic, the packaging is only that and is not who you are. Meeting for a cup of coffee or a drink will give you enough time to assess whether this person is someone you want to know better.

Dating Advice: Packaging is not the answer, be clear about who you are, what you want in a relationship and set about finding it in a considered way.

Thinking you know this person - We can easily be seduced by email conversations and late night telephone calls. Apart from the actual chemistry that is missing in these exchanges there is that part that you know very well yourself, where you just reveal what you want at any given time. If you know what your requirements are in a relationship this will

help you assess quite quickly if this person is for you. Most of us allow things to just drift along and are not pro-active in having a plan for ourselves when it comes to relationships.

Dating Advice: How is it we plan for everything except relationships? Take some time to plan what you want in a relationship before you get into a habit or rut with someone.

Fantasy - it's only in your head - It is very easy to live in the fantasy of a relationship even from a very early stage. After all that is why you have signed up on the dating site in the first place - you want a relationship. However, being truthful with yourself is easier if you have a relationship plan. Then you can ask yourself, from the information you have so far, does this person tick some of my boxes. If so then you can continue to find out more about them

whilst finding out about other people at the same time.Projecting onto any one person, especially at a very early stage, all you hopes and dreams is likely to bring you some amount of pain and heartache when you find this isn't going to work out.

Dating Advice: Spread the emotional load by giving your attention to a number of people, it helps deal with the ups and downs of the dating cycle if you are not exclusive right from the start.

Not paying enough attention to the signals - it is amazing how quicky we can get ourselves into habits and relationships, however new, are one of those areas. We

all like attention and contact with people but what about the rest of your life, those friends who have been around for you, your family. Anyone who might be for you will, you hope, want to

share life with a person who has a balanced life and that includes all the other activities and people in your life. Straining towards exclusivity at a very early stage and throwing all your time and attention towards the relationship can be a disaster.

Dating Advice: Get out there and have any dating and relationships fit in with your life as a successful single. Know what your requirements, needs and wants are and look for

someone who can meet these.

© 2006 Trisha Stone

You are welcome to re-print the article so long as the complete resource box information is included.

Trisha Stone The Singles Coach [http://thesinglescoach.co.uk] is a relationship coach who is based in the United Kingdom. She works with single people helping them find the life and relationship that they want. Working with Trisha people learn not to repeat old relationship mistakes and work consciously towards developing their personal relationship plan. There are many options to the programme from 1:1 personal coaching to group work and teleclasses. If you wish to find out more please contact Trisha via her website on [http://thesinglescoach.co.uk]

Online Dating Advice - Is There Such a Thing As Too Much Honesty?

When you are creating your profile, there is such a thing as too much honesty. What you put in your description says a lot about you in face value. But, if you get good at "reading between the lines' you may be sending out negative vibes without realizing it. There are definitely some things to avoid for a profile that shows you in the best possible light, describing who you want in a positive, attractive way.

Reading Between the Lines

Your choice of words is particularly important when you include what you don't want in a partner. Outlining specifics of qualities that don't work for you, announces that you've already been down that road. Taking a step back to read between the lines, you are broadcasting your past relationship issues. Is that what you want everyone to know about you? I doubt it.

Let's say you've had it with men who won't commit. So you put that in the profile, "Don't bother connecting with me if you're a commitment phobe." What that really says is that you've already been with men who wouldn't commit. It makes me wonder what might be wrong with you that these previous lovers wouldn't stick around. That's not good.

Here's another good example. You plainly state what you want, requesting that a man "Must be honest." Oh great, now I know you easily fall for liars. That's not helpful for you either is it?

You probably thought these strong statements would weed out undesirables. Instead what often happens is that subconsciously, people see you as an easy target. Someone who is susceptible to their dating style.

Using these demanding phrases isn't just bad form because it's demanding. These comments are like flashing neon signs to visitors - "I'VE BEEN TAKEN IN BY A LIAR" or "I'M TIRED OF MEN" Will this information make you more attractive? Nope. Everyone has some baggage, but you don't need to advertise it.

Present Your Best Self at All Times

In your profile, just like in your emails, on the phone and in person, you want to appear at your best. You want to be positive, on your best behavior, and most appealing. That's why too much honesty can be a problem. Especially in the beginning.

Focus on What You Do Want

Instead, focus on what you do want and what qualities will work for you in a partner. If you want a long-term relationship - go ahead and say that. If you want a man who will be a life partner, you can say that too. If you want a beau who has a sharing spirit and generous heart, that's good too. - These are positive requirements, not demands.

When in Doubt, Leave it Out

Selling yourself short by exposing previously bad judgment or situations is not in your best interest. Try this rule of thumb - When in doubt - leave it out. You can always share more details in person as you get to know each other. Think positively that good partners are out there and keep searching until you find the right one for you.

Discover 10 reasons why a woman should never pay on the first date when you subscribe to the Kiss & Tell newsletter at www.MANifestingMrRight.com And learn savvy dating strategies to find love after 35 in the book MANifesting Mr. Right It's Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want by Dating Coach and expert Ronnie Ann Ryan. Ronnie found love and married after 40 and knows you can too! She's helped over 1,500 people jumpstart or accelerate their search for love. You could be next.

Over 40 Dating Advice - Are You Ready to Have the Time of Your Life Or Waiting to Get Motivated?

My client Sharon called in for her monthly coaching appointment last night. We talked about how things were going on her dating journey. What had she done to find the love she wants?

Surprisingly, Sharon had done very little. She did have a number of excellent excuses. For example: work was really busy, she's remodeling her home and she had several family outings. So, I asked her point blank, "Where does dating and meeting the right man for you fall in your list of priorities?" Sharon responded that it was number three or four.

My next question made a big impact, "Where does this goal need to be to actually make something happen this spring/summer? Is what you are currently doing working?" Not really Sharon begrudgingly admitted.

Sharon is like so many of my clients who say one thing, yet do another. This is the human condition. Who knows why? Is Sharon afraid of rejection? Tired of making the effort? Sick of dating? Worried her efforts will be wasted because the likelihood of meeting the right man is so small?

Do these thoughts sound familiar? This is the research I've been doing, working hard to understand what will motivate women to step it up and take dating seriously. Without the intention to make dating a higher priority, nothing much will happen. Looking for love is just like any goal. It requires a plan and taking action. You have to meet men to weed through the prospects to find the right one for you.

And I've come to a new conclusion about this lack of motivation and what can be done about it. Take a deep breath now...Stop worrying if every single night out or speed dating or email will produce. Instead, it's time to shift gears. This is what I proposed to Sharon and she went for it.

For a change this season, what if you decided to have your most flirty, friendly, fun-filled, time of your life? If you meet him or not isn't the point. The point is to step up your allure, start thinking of yourself as a desirable woman and interact with men. Lots of men! Imagine what that would be like?

The truth is anyone can do this. And anyone can have fun with this process. But it is a CHOICE. Because you could also choose to leave everything status quo. You can do something once or twice a month and not meet many men. You can continue to complain or say it's just too hard. You can let time slip by as you put this off.

Tick Tock. That's the days of your life, your time slipping by without you doing anything to satisfy your deep desire to have a loving relationship. Believe me, I wish I could do this for you. But all I can do is write these articles or work with you individually and cheer you on from the side lines.

I can make a big promise however and I will do so right here and now. If you decide, like Sharon, that you are ready to have the spring/summer of your life from a flirty, fun perspective, YOU CAN DO IT!

This is a completely possible and very do-able goal and just think of how much fun it can be! What if you shored up your confidence so you knew without question that men find you attractive, got to be good at flirting and met lots of men? What if you noticed that men appreciate you, want to talk with you, and desire you? What would that be like?

Admit it - it would be a total blast - and you can't deny it!

Helen of Troy had the power to launch a thousand ships for a battle that is still being told today, thousands of years later. All you have to do is dress up, adopt the right mindset and get out there to meet people. As a woman, this is your birthright.

Do it. Start right now. There's nothing in your way but you. Get out there and have the most amazing warm weather season of your romantic life. I know you can do it. And when you look back, it will all have been totally worthwhile, I promise.

Discover 5 Big Turnoffs that Drive Men Away and 7 Surefire Ways to Make Men Want You by Ronnie Ann Ryan, The Dating Coach. Get her FREE ebook instantly, at http://www.after40datingtips.com Ronnie found love and married after 40 and knows you can too! She's helped over 1,500 people jumpstart or accelerate their search for love. People fall in love every day. You could be next!