How to Find the Love of Your Life Online!

Use these tips to find the love of your life... or even your next bootie-call quickly.

HOW TO LIMIT ALL OF YOUR ON-LINE CONTACT TO PEOPLE WHO ARE REAL PROSPECTS.

Include a statement in your profile that 'EXCLUDES' those who you really don't want to be bothered with. Examples are below:

[] Don't IM me unless you live in my area and are serious about at least the possibility of meeting.

[] ISOBM - Is Seeking Only Black Men

[] ISOAF - Is Seeking Only Asian Females

[] ISOSWF - Is Seeking Only Single White Females

[] ISOHF -Is Seeking Only Hispanic Females

[] I am ONLY interested in a Serious Relationship

[] NO Phonies, Liars, smokers, alcoholics or ____

[] I'm not interested unless _________

[] Not interested if you're over 5'10"

[] Must be between 4'11" and 5'5"

[] Must be local to me unless YOU are willing to travel

Always include your general geographic area in your profile

Be direct. Ask prospects key questions from the very start. If it's important to you then you should inquire about it It's OK to ask about these things early on:

[] Sex

[] Age

[] Height

[] Size

[] Shape

[] Race

[] Location

[] [Physical Description

[] Hobbies

[] Occupation

[] Interests

BUILD ATTRACTION BY BEING SELECTIVE

By being exclusive and 'excluding' certain types in the very beginning it makes you look like a person who has options and choices and is secure enough to be selective. That looks far more attractive and makes you look like a much better catch than someone who looks ...desperate... and will take anything that comes his/her way.

BAD EXPERIENCES

Some people have had a few bad experiences and have subsequently sworn off the entire idea and concept of

"meeting people through a computer". Because of the disagreeable experiences they may have had they began to paint the entire experience with a broad brush.

Here is something to think about. Meeting people in Cyberspace is no different than meeting people in any other forum. There are a number of variables that come into play. Just as many people have had a number of consecutively bad experiences with people they've met at clubs, bars, blind dates, on their job, at the beach or anywhere else. It is

never fair to generalize.

When people generalize they usually leave out the most important variable of them all. That is themselves and

what they may be contributing to these negative experiences. For every person who has consistently negative

experiences with people they've met on-line there are probably just as many who have had consistently positive experiences.

There are a number of factors that may be contributing to those negative experiences:

* Great Expectations

* Rush to Judgment

* Being unclear or untruthful

* Putting on a Facade on-line or on the phone

Here are a few tips for everyone:

BE YOURSELF

[] Don't hide behind some alter-ego that really is not you

[] Relax

[] Don't Be Desperate

[] Stop Looking For Someone Else To Make You Whole

[] Learn To Love Yourself

[] Look In The Mirror be honest about your appearance

[] Don't lie, exaggerate or embellish

[] Always insist on clear pictures before meeting,

Ask for several if you choose to

[] Always send a truly representative Picture Not one that is 15 years old and before you got that potbelly and sagging chin.

[] Don't put on a facade on-line or on the phone if you are seriously trying to meet someone.

It is safe to be yourself.

You may turn some people off but in the long run you will be doing yourself and them a big favor. Look for someone that will care for you for who you are and not for who they wish you were. These relationships are always doomed to failure and disappointment.

If you found this article helpful then I would suggest that you immediately go to the website below for some truly insightful info on how to use the internet and especially free online chat rooms instead of dating services to find true love and happiness

http://chatroomdatingsecrets.com

A Female Guide to Online Dating Without the Rose Colored Glasses

Not getting the results you want with online dating? Need to jumpstart your dating mojo? Check out my guide to better dating experiences and attracting the type of people you wish to form relationships with.

With over 10 years of online dating under my belt, I have become an expert on relationships and giving advice on how to successfully date.

Rule 1: Honesty on the web.

It's important to remember that the men you are meeting are in fact strangers, no matter how much time you spend talking to them via email, chat or by phone. And, until you meet in person and spend many months of together time, they are still strangers who may be lying and not being completely truthful about any number of things. These things may include: age, marital status, physical appearance, personality traits, lifestyle, values, etc. Because of this, I always encourage my readers to take what is said with a grain of salt until you can verify the facts for yourself through in person time spent together.

Just as important as watching for their honesty is making sure you are honest about yourself too. Don't lie about your age, looks, interests or lifestyle. Use a current picture of yourself or update your old one. That is the #1 turn off to men because they want to meet the real person that they have been talking to. Don't transform yourself into something you are not. If you are not honest with them, you may kill a potential relationship from even starting. Don't be afraid of being yourself. You are a fun person worth getting to know. If they don't like who you really are, then they are not for you and you can move on to someone who likes you just the way you are. (And those men ARE out there!)

Rule 2: Be selective with providing your personal information

Do not provide a last name, home or work address until you have gotten to know him better and can be sure he is trustworthy. And, use a different email address for people you meet through dating sites or chatrooms specifically for those types of interactions.

Rule 3: Meet in a public place

When you meet, always meet in a public place and tell friends and family where you will be. Always have your own form of transportation to and from the location. Do not meet for the first time for drinks which can severely impair your judgment and create an unsafe situation. And remember, dress nice but appropriately, and smile. Enjoy yourself!

Rule 4: Pay attention to the details.

How much about him and his life do you really know? Ask questions and always pay attention to any inconsistencies or story changes. If a person claims to be single, then watch out for signs that confirm or negate this. Do they provide a cell phone or a home number? Usually, a person who will not provide a home number is withholding it for a reason, such as having a live in partner or girl/boyfriend who visits or stays over often.

Do you know where they work? Can you visit them at their home? If they only want to meet you at your place or in a social setting, then that's a clear indication that they are not single.

Rule 5: Protect yourself emotionally

So often, I meet people who allow themselves to get emotionally attached to an online guy/girl before meeting them and I cannot stress enough how dangerous that can be. First of all, this person may not be who they claim to be in their picture or emails. Even if they are genuine, their online personality may be different than the one you meet in person. It's really easy to get carried away by words promising a future of a relationship, just to meet and have the person not be ready to deliver on the intensity of those emotions. So, please take things slowly and get to know them in person before developing too strong of an attachment.

Dating is a risk. Some dates will lead to relationships and others will not due to lack of physical chemistry or other incompatibilities. It's all part of the experience. And, by not getting too attached in the beginning, you don't set yourself up for disappointment.

Rule 6: Date with integrity

Women ask how to improve their chances of having more successful dates and I always say to date with integrity. It starts with self-love and knowing that you are important enough to be treated like a princess. Believe that about yourself and you will be well on your way to attracting better guys. Never accept dates from men who are married or in another relationship. This normally goes without saying but I can't begin to tell you how many women think that he will leave his significant other for her or that stay with a man even after he has lied to her about being single. None of these scenarios ever works out well and lead to a waste of your time where you could be meeting a guy who will make you the romantic priority.

Rule 7: Watch out for premature sexual intimacy

The majority of men report that women who sleep with them on the first date or really early on in the dating process are not women that they normally want to form lasting relationships with. It does not make them feel special since it was too easily gained. Men like the thrill of the hunt, or chase, if you will. They like what they must work at to attain. As such, it is in your favor to wait a while until you are certain there is a real relationship here before moving into sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy too soon into the dating process speeds up the development of feelings and attachment when no relationship may have been created yet. You are worth the wait and if he is the right guy for you, he will respect that. If you take your time before getting too physical, you can confirm that he is sticking around for the right reasons and not just a booty call.

Rule 8: Long distance relationships

There are many success stories of people meeting on the web who live far apart that have worked out. However, to be safe and create a more secure dating experience, it's best to meet people who live in your area. First of all, you get to see them more often which creates a deeper bond. Secondly, you can verify their information to see that they are in fact what they claim to be. Thirdly, you will be incurring more expense to maintain this type of relationship by having to finance trips to see him, the long distance phone bills, etc.

Often the distance and inability to see each other frequently leads to the person either not wanting to invest too much time in a relationship or they may even meet someone closer to them in the interim. At some point, if you decide to still get involved in this type of relationship, one of you will have to relocate to make it work or it ends due to the hardships that come with the distance. So, to avoid all of that, stick with dating in your area. It will ultimately be easier on your pocketbook and heart.

Rule 9: Watch out for signs of abuse or addictions

Whether it's a temper, violence, jealousy, control issues, verbal abuse, drinking or drugs, please watch for signs of issues in the guy that may lead to a toxic relationship. Don't think you can change him if he exhibits any signs of abuse. Just walk away and don't look back. If he is condescending, puts you down, or does not take your feelings into account, then he is not the right guy for you.

Rule 10: Maintain your individuality

First things first, make sure you are really ready to begin dating and not just looking for someone to complete or fulfill a void in your life. Men are attracted to women who are happy, independent and have outside interests.

Make sure that when you are initially dating, that you maintain your boundaries by not smothering and over-calling. Let things develop slowly. Maintain your individuality and independence by continuing to spend time with your friends, and are involved in the interests and hobbies that were a part of your life before he entered the picture. People can be scared off by too much attention or creating a situation where you drop all of your outside interests just to spend all of your time with him. Remember, men can come and go, but friends and the interests that made you the person that you are today will be there to stay. Don't alienate your friends and family when you are dating. You'll need to maintain your lifeline to these people and activities for support should the relationship not work out.

Rule 11: Premature declarations of love

True love takes time to develop, often many months to even a year. So, be wary of any guy who tells you they love you from the very beginning. They may be desperate just to have any relationship or may be a player who throws the words around without really meaning them.

Rule 12: Protect your assets

Never EVER give out your bank account information, debit card or give money to someone you barely know or have been dating for a short period of time. Don't buy them expensive gifts, give them cellphones or put their bills in your name. You are not their mommy or sugar mamma and they should be supporting themselves. If they ask you for any of these things, run, don't walk to the nearest exit.

Rule 13: Keep your skeletons in the closet

When you first get to know someone, it's easy to want to spill the beans about your past, your exes, and everything in between. Keep it light and fun. Talk about your hobbies, interests, events you've participated in and your positive traits. If he is worth getting to know and forming a relationship with, then he will be around to hear all of your not so great stories. Some men are scared off by too much emotional baggage in the beginning. So, hold off on the drama and heart to hearts. They are not interested in hearing why your last relationship hit the skids or why you have trust issues. Stick with the positives about your life and then after meeting and spending time together, if he is interested, the mysteries of what makes you you will unfold in time. Plus, it's more interesting that way, don't you think?

Rule 14: Dating behavior

Last minute dates: Never accept dates at the last minute. If a guy asks you out at the last minute, have the self-confidence to say that you already have plans and would love to take a raincheck. It will show the guy that your time is valuable and if they want to spend it with you, they have to make plans in advance.

Being on time: If he is continuously late in picking you up, then that is a form of disrespect and tell him so. If he doesn't change, drop him like a hot potato.

Going dutch: Never go dutch. I feel that if a guy asks you out, that he should be the one to pay. If he doesn't, kick him to the curb because he's too cheap to be a good candidate for a real relationship.

Courting Details: Pay attention to the ways in which he courts you. Does he bring flowers, leave you nice notes or emails? How does he go out of his way to make you feel special? Is the attention he gives you constant or sporadic? Does he follow through on set plans and phone calls? Is the effort to invest time and attention to the relationship mutual? Or do you find yourself doing most of the work to plan the dates or see him? If his behavior is flaky or lacking special treatment from the get go, it is a clear indicator of what you can expect from him in the future.

Most men are on their best behavior during the first few months of dating. It is after the "honeymoon phase" is over and the newness of being with you wears off that you really see his true colors and whether he has the staying power to really make you happy in a long term relationship.

Incorporating you into his life: Another important aspect worth discussing is the effort made to progress the relationship to the next level. Does he take the time to incorporate you into his life? Have you met his friends and family? If he does not return your calls for a few days, does not introduce you to the people in his life, makes excuses to see you frequently or disappears, really evaluate what you are doing with a guy like that. He may not be as into you as you think. Bottom line is, he is not putting you first and you need to put yourself first by moving on to someone who will.

Rule 15: Know when to cut your losses and move on

A date can appear to be going extremely well but then you don't get the call back. Or, you may go on a few dates for even a few weeks and then the guy pulls the old disappearing act or says he does not want to see you anymore. Leaves you confused and frustrated right? That's why it's important to read rule #5 where I discuss protecting yourself from getting too attached too soon emotionally. There could be any number of reasons why the dating relationship does not progress. Some of these include him not being ready for a commitment, is scared of getting too close to anyone, is going through a rebound period from a recent relationship, is a player who dates many women, got back together with an ex, realized that you two are not as compatible as he first thought and too many others to name in this article. No matter what the reason, realize that this will happen and not to let it break you or make you stop trying to date new people. It is just the process we must all go through that will eventually lead us to the right person for ourselves.

By the same token, if you realize that a dating relationship is not going in the direction that you would like, don't keep wasting your time trying to force something that is not there. If he tells you he only wants something casual and you want something exclusive or long term, don't keep seeing him, calling him or prolonging a situation that is not conducive to your happiness. Giving him time is not going to change a man who knows early on he does not want to invest in you. So, start investing in yourself. Learn to cut your losses and move on to new people that can meet your needs. Life is too short to settle. Remember, no one is going to look out for your needs as good as you will. Go for the gusto and be more proactive in creating the romantic life you seek by being selective in who you date, how you are treated and evaluate where it is ultimately going.

Rule 16: Trust your intuition

No matter what, always trust your instincts. You were born with them for a reason. If something does feel right, there is usually a reason. Be good to yourself and take your time with the dating process. You will know what feels right to you and who you click with if you listen to your inner voice of reason. Also, don't neglect the advice and insights of friends and family either. They may see an aspect of that person that you may not because you are too involved in the relationship.

Rule 17: Our thoughts shape our reality

Ever heard the expression, you get what you send out? Well, it's true. To attract great people into our lives, we must be healthy within and without. We must love ourselves more than we love anyone else and believe that we deserve the best. We must also not accept bad behavior or disrespect on any level. When we focus our thoughts on what we want, rather than what we do not, we send out a message to the Universe that we are ready for true change on a soul level.

Many women attract relationship patterns because of lessons they have not learned from the previous relationship or are attracting to their life something that they lack in themselves. Do the self-work to become happy with yourself and then begin to seek out new relationships. If you need to get some therapy before jumping back into the dating scene to help you move on from an issue or blockage, then do so. Learn from previous experiences so that you grow stronger and learn what to look out for and avoid in your future.

Put your best foot forward by knowing who you are and letting that wonderful person shine through. At the end of the day, you are the greatest prize and the right guy will treat you the way you think you deserve to be treated.

Zuri Eberhart is an internationally known Reiki master, psychic intuitive and gateway dream coach. She provides insight, healing and self-empowerment services through intuitive guidance, numerology, tarot, dream coaching and energy work. For more information visit: http://www.AskZuri.com

Irresistible Online Dating Profiles - Strategies To Boost Your Responses

Your profile is one of the most important tools in you quest for Mr. / Mrs. Right. It acts and introduction to other members. It gives other members an idea of your likes and dislikes and your opportunity to shine. Here are some tips for creating an attention grabbing profile.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

· First and foremost have a picture. This is your chance to catch someone's eye. It doesn't have to be a professional one, but it should be clear so that people know who they are talking to. Statistically a personal advert with a picture gets 10-15 times more responses. This is an incredible 15,000 percent better than a text only ad. Wow. These are conservative estimates. Most online daters won't even look at a profile without a picture. If you are a little self conscious don't worry everyone's in the same boat. So be bold and put up a site photo.

· Make sure your photo is clear. When people are going through hundreds of profiles a clear and clean picture always stands out. A professional one is a great idea, you know it's up to the job but don't worry if it isn't, it should just be clear. If you can't get a professional ask a friend/family who makes you smile to take it. That way you'll be sure you look relaxed and happy, these are two very import features for a good online photo.

· Make sure you smile. Just think about when you go to a party. Who are you more likely to speak to? People that look friendly. This is just as true on line. So make sure you smile on your online photo

· Have more than one photo. Have a couple of photos of yourself doing things that you like, and enjoying yourself. Photos should center on you rather than on a group. If there are lots of people make sure you crop, so that you are the main subject. The more photos the better as it shows more aspects of your self.

· Make sure you are fully clothed! This might seem obvious but you can get banned from online dating sites by showing too much flesh. It also conveys the right impression i.e. that you are looking for long-term relationship rather than a one night stand.

· Make sure it's recent and accurate. If you want to meet someone they will be expecting the person they see in the photo not someone 10yrs younger. Also it will help find someone who is attracted to you as you are at the moment.

On to the online text Profile.

Let's go back to the party scenario. OK so you've gone over to talk to someone because they looked friendly and smiled. You need to start a conversation with them, but what do you talk about? If the conversation is flat you/they would to move on. The same is true for your text profile. Your online text profile is your opening line. So here are some tips to get you headed in the right direction.

· How do I start.? Start off by getting a piece of paper and writing down your likes and dislikes. Be descriptive. This helps to get your creativity moving.

· Be positive. Have you ever spoken to someone who's feeling a bit down? Sometimes you also start feeling low also. So keep your profile upbeat. You can do that easier if you write your online dating profile in a happy mood. This makes your writing pleasant and light hearted and your audience interested.

· Keep it real. Avoid making anything up. Remember if you want to meet that person they will want to know about things on your profile. So stay with the truth. You are more likely to find someone who is interested in the same things you are. In the end you want to find someone who is interested in you for yourself, not an imaginary person you have created.

· Let yourself shine through in your description. For example a light hearted joke is better than writing 'I have a good sense of humor'. In general jokes a great, just make sure they're clean.

· Be inspired. How can you do that if you are not a writer? Look at other profiles. Take note of what you like and dislike. Then pick out phrases and words you like. Now have a go using these to inspire you.

· Get a friend to read it through and critique it for you. This will give you lots of feedback about how to make things better.

· Check your description for spelling and grammar.

· Stay safe. Never give any personal details such as telephone numbers and addresses.

· Read it again after a week. Sometimes you come up with some great ideas once you have written your online profile

How Can I do better?

If things still aren't working for you, not to worry here some more ideas.

· Keep Reviewing. Look at your profile periodically and critically. Think about the type of personality your profile conveys and the type of person you want to attract. If you are not getting any attention or inappropriate responses make changes.

· Don't give up. Keep your options open. Don't stick to just online dating, keep looking around you. It's just a matter of time until you find the right person.

· Stay positive. Learn to be happy with yourself, this can be easier for some, but a positive attitude will benefit your interactions and relationships in general.

· Good Luck

There are some articles here. If you need some more ideas go here: [http://www.love-be.com/articles.html]

Love-be.com is a free online dating site for people looking for longe-term relationships. This is one of the many articles and resources available at [http://www.love-be.com/articles.html]

Can You Still Flirt Through The Medium of Online Dating Sites?

This is a good question because it is a different challenge flirting when you can't see 80% of the communication that is going on. Do you know that 80% of your communication is non-verbal? It is quite true because those are the big signals which tell you if the person in front of you is in a good mood or stressed.And of course it is in the things that people don't say where you can learn the most! Intelligent people are able to determine this even in very brief presentations, so communication is quite important. However flirting this way is not impossible on online dating sites, in fact they are quite interesting. Here you will be focussing on that 20% of communication in black and white which hardly gives you an idea about her tone. The good part about flirting online is that you don't have to make any mistakes, everything is editable and that really helps here. Being spontaneous is not that critical when you know you have to wait a bit for a response but being able to be witty and clever in your retorts, no matter what the medium - always helps when it comes to the flirting game. Here are some important tips that you should know when you flirt on an online dating site:

Have fun! Flirting is a great leisure activity that gets your brain going. If you come up with good lines then you will really start enjoying every minute and needless to say that your date would like it too. If you don't find yourself in the mood then you won't be able to pull this off together.

Listen carefully Flirting gets easily spoiled because it is built upon a temperament. If you ruin the tempo then the flirting streak will kill itself. So make sure that you also listen carefully because those lines are the only input you are getting from her. There is nothing more annoying than finding each other on different planes after a few dialogues. This will also show that you are being respectful to her words.

Have a good profile Your online dating profile is an important selling feature. Not only is should attract people to contact you but also find reasons to flirt. If you find in your date's profile that she loves to swim, then you could always mention that later when you are having a light-hearted conversation. It really helps to know that you have done your homework and so you're not mistaken for bringing up a new subject altogether.

Confidence is paramount Your confidence will gauge how well you will flirt with your date. If you are confident then you will be able to crack really good jokes and also take up some hard hitting commentary. After all flirting is a challenge because you are attempting to come with a better comeback every time. Confidence will also help you think well when you need to be quick and smart about recalling some good ideas.

The only real advice I can give you here is to be yourself. Only by being yourself can you ever gain true confidence, besides - what's the point in spending all your time and energy getting her/him to like you for someone that you are not!?That's just crazy.

Leaving note Like all meetings, there should be a follow up note. No matter how your date went, both ends really want to know if their date had a good time. Whether your intent was for love or lust - when it comes to flirting online it is important to remember that it is the 'chase' that is as much a part of the flirt game as anything else, and you cannot have a chase without a followup - simple as that.

Make it a point to show that you had a good time and would really look forward to meet again later. This will motivate your date and probably increase the chances to meet again, if you want to of course.

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The Dating advice you get in this course will not only show you EXACTLY how to flirt with women and pick up girls, it will also reveal secrets and methods that will give you the confidence to flirt - no matter what the medium or situation!

Gain the confidence needed to spark her interest every time and never be left out of in the cold again!

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Learn the Truth About Online Dating and Get Great Tips For Dating Success!

Of all the forms of dating, online dating maybe the newest and trendiest kind that people are into today. It's not just modern, it's also wider in scope, gives better opportunities for daters, and crosses the lines of, time and space. Therefore online dating is hands down the easiest method to get to know people from all walks of life!

Now you may disagree with this fact, but you must accept it for what it is: it's a fact. Online dating is an institution that has already fostered millions of relationships globally, even transcending financial differences and issues of culture. It has promoted the concept of love being a universal phenomenon, and so it is the same everywhere. Aside from this, it has helped alleviate the conditions of the hordes of hopeless romantics just trying to find the perfect match for them. Most of those who join online dating are loving and caring people who display extremely good characteristics and traits and, most of all, they are also deserving of respect and love. And one of them may be the person you've been looking for all your life! Your soul mate! Are you excited to meet that person already? If you are, then get ready... Because that person is waiting for you too.

All you need to do is join a reputable online dating website, create your profile, upload some of your best pictures, and you got yourself in a roll. This is what's perfect about online dating - in a few clicks you can change your life and meet extraordinary people - you can even get matchmaking advice from them! People will correspond with you, and you will take initial steps getting to know them too. If you think you got a match, and you feel that this other person has something in store for you, then that's it. You are ready now set up a date with that person, though you must make sure first that this girl or guy is worthy of your trust.

After that, what do you do? What do you say after you say hello? Meeting up with somebody is easy - it's what you should do after you meet somebody that is hard. This is the part where most people make mistakes and ruin their chances while dating. Why is this so? It's because they get bad advice and sometimes rely solely on instincts that are often outrageously wrong. But we're here to save you from making those same online dating mistakes again and again!

The ultimate secret online dating tip is not how to choosing the right clothes to wear, or the right punch line to use - it's not even about having the right attitude! It's all about discovering yourself. You are the starting point of the relationship, so this is where you must first make necessary improvements. Without building a firm foundation in yourself, all your other dating strategies will fall short. And this is where we'll help you! Our dating tips are guaranteed to transform you from the inside out! The confidence you will gain from learning the secrets to dating will be so overwhelming you'd wonder why you didn't know about this before!

Our secrets to dating are very easy to understand, and can change you into a totally brand new person. Finally, you can be confident that you are truly date-able! Online dating is one side of the coin - our dating tips will complete the whole picture! Get our free secrets to dating report today, a no-risk, and great deal for you!

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Internet Dating - Your Digital Online Dating Hookup

It's a funny world we live. Yesterday I asked a friend whether she'd ever think about - or actually try - internet dating as an alternative to wasting so much time in single's bars every weekend. She looked at like I was from some other planet and just asked if I would try it. When I said yes. She looked at me like I was from some even stranger place. To her, internet dating is for the way too desperate who are too insecure to face real people in a bar.

OK, true, a few years ago online dating was a kind of social taboo. And you do need to use your head even now. But dating online has changed the dating scene all over the world.

Face it, if you're a working adult (and who isn't these days), you may not have a lot of interest in going through all the bs and games that seems to be built into the meat market singles bar scene. You may want a more straightforward approach to finding someone compatible who you can truly love (and vice versa). If you're tired of the old time traditional approach, you may want to take a serious look at internet dating.

You may not be really aware of it, but the predecessor to online dating was actual putting personal ads in newspapers. And it did carry a big stigma. But let me share a true story. Once upon a time, I checked out a personal ad in a local alternative newspaper. It was an interesting experience. We knew almost nothing about each other - not even what we each looked like. She was very well educated, but we had, unfortunately, nothing in common.

One of the advantages of internet dating is that you can learn much more about each other before committing to actually meet.

In the those days, people seemed to believe that anyone who put a personal ad in a newspaper was a) terminally ugly, b) terminally desperate, or c) totally psycho.

Now look what's happened. Time has passed, technology has advanced and there are probably thousands of online dating sites. So while it is more socially acceptable, dating online still carries a kind of negative response and suppressed snickers from those who just don't get it.

look at some of the potential benefits:

1) It can be safe - When you go through an internet dating site, you remain anonymous until you decide to provide more details. None of your specific personal contact details will be handed out unless you decide to give it out.

2) You have significant security - If an online courtship has gone seriously awry or gotten all weird, or if the person you are talking to has turned out to be something way different then advertised, just drop him or her. And if they won't get let go, go ahead and flag them - report them to site webmaster. Kazaam, they're gone. Since they don't have a clue how to find you, you're safe.

3) Cheaper than a bar, for sure - it's free - Free is pretty good, right? Most online dating sites will allow you to sign up and log on, without a fee. Is that better than wasting money on buying somebody drinks?

4) Choice - lots of choice - This one factor is incredible. We're talking single's heaven, here. You think a single's bar is crowded on Friday night? You'll be blown away by the number of singles signed up and looking for love on the internet. Say you are incredibly lucky and you find 2, maybe even 3 possibles in a singles bar. On line you could well find a hundred. Even a thousand or more to choose from. ?

5) It saves you money and time - the traditional approach is a little limiting unless you have wads of cash to blow on drinks, dinners, movies and are lucky too. Or, if you aren't the one paying, you're still investing time - and time is all any of us really have. Fairly often, in the end, all the time and money spent leaves you just where you started. Going back to the bar. Again. But with internet dating, you can date more than one person at time without investing a lot of money or time. Don't you think that could really boost your chances of making the right connection, the one you're looking for?

6) And what about rejection - it's gone - Have you ever introduced yourself to a girl or meet a guy and thought, this is great. Only to get dumped on or shut down nearly immediately. It's happened to everyone. And it's one of the things we all fear. Rejection. On the internet, you make contact via email and it's a lot less painful if the response is negative. I mean, who cares, there are another thousand out there.

7) Oddly enough in internet dating honesty really is the best policy - Unlike traditional dating where you're all running around trying to impress each other. Slinging lines and posing, on the internet being real works a whole better. Online dating works best when both parties are honest. Sure you need to know how to talk with people, but if you construct your profile by being honest and you interact the same way, then there's no reason for a lot of foolish fakery and hiding out. You can be who you really are and you can find people who respond to the real you.

Sure, nothing is certain in life. You can get burned in internet dating too. But you have a lot more alternatives, a lot more choices and a lot of ways to find out whether you really want to go ahead and get in direct contact with someone. This is an area where technology is bringing new and better possibilities into our lives. Don't be shy - check it out.

Copyright 2006 Richard Keir

Richard writes for a variety of sites and is seriously hooked on the online world. For more about Internet Dating visit [http://AboutDatingOnline.com] and to read the full manual about How to Date Online go to [http://www.aboutdatingonline.com/how-to-date-online/how-to-date-online-p1.php]

The Phenomenon Of Online Dating - The Truth!

As CEO of a company which operates some of the most popular dating sites on the

net, I'm uniquely positioned to provide some clear and concise facts about the

global phenomenon of online dating. In six bite-sized chunks I'm going to give you

the whole truth about a past-time that has become part of the fabric of the lives of

single people everywhere where a computer screen is affordable by or accessible to

the masses.

1. Two out of every five single people aged 24 - 50 currently use, or have used an

online dating service. Yes, you read that correctly - it's 40%! Now think of all the

single friends you have; how many of them have actually told you that they've

signed-up to a site in order to kick start their love lives? Not many I would wager.

That's because in spite of the popularity of the medium, there is a still a social

stigma attached to dating sites; when people meet a partner this way, they generally

pretend to their friends that they've met in a bar or at some kind of party or work

related function. One of the fastest growing activities in the world is still something

most people wont admit to doing.

2. Only about 5% of people who join dating sites actually end up in a relationship

with someone they first make contact with at their chosen site. Let's equate this to

the 'real' world; you walk into a room full of one hundred strangers and how many

of them would you be attracted to? Probably no more than ten. And that's if you're

lucky. It's the same in cyberspace - how many total strangers will there be on any

site that really press all the right buttons for you? So when you register with a site,

don't expect miracles because your love life in cyberspace is no different to the

reality of everyday life.

3. Only 10% of people who join dating sites get any messages at all from other

members. There's a reason for this - the other 90% don't deserve any success.

People who refuse to upload photos of themselves or post profiles which look like

they can't really be bothered to say anything about themselves will just be ignored.

The 10% who get noticed create upbeat, confident, humorous profiles, don't have

any qualms about posting a picture of themselves and are proactive about

contacting other members. If your site doesn't work you, you shouldn't blame the

site just as a bad workman shouldn't blame his tools.

4. Popular dating sites are popular for one reason and one reason only. They work.

In every territory, you'll find a handful of sites that outstrip all the others in terms of

the volume of their registrations and their reputations in general. You'll also find

that none of these sites are free. The sites which look the best, have the best

features and offer good customer service are expensive to run and maintain. You

get what you pay for on line as well as in all walks of life; if the owners of a dating

site don't have the confidence in their product to actually charge for it, you have to

ask yourself why that is. Relatively speaking, joining a dating site is very inexpensive

compared to, say, going out for a nice meal or taking a trip to the theatre and the

potential of finding a great new relationship makes the risk/reward ratio a no-

brainer.

5. Global sites which can boast hundreds of thousands of members from all four

corners of the globe are a waste of time unless you're looking for a pen-pal. These

sites might sound rather impressive - "We have 5,000,000 members worldwide!!" -

but so what? What you should be concerned with when you're choosing a site is how

many members they have in your city, your town or your village. So if you're serious

about find a partner, stick to city or country specific sites and take the 'global' hype

with a pinch of salt.

6. The percentage of men on dating sites is disproportionate to that of women.

Most services comprise about 60% men and 40% women so as far as the on line

arena is concerned, it's the girls who are calling the shots. They have more choice

and can therefore be more discerning about who they contact or write back to. So

guys, if you want to stand out from the crowd, check out paragraph 3 above; write a

great profile and post a flattering pic and you'll be just fine.

So there you have it; to make a success of online dating, all you have to do is pick

the right site and post an eye-catching profile and photo and if it works for

you...don't keep it a big secret - tell your single friends all about it so they can get a

piece of the action too!

Jonathan White is the CEO of http://www.cupidnights.com the most popular geo-targeted site in Europe

7 Online Dating Tips You Should be Aware of

You've tried the bar scene, blind dates and even dated a coworker or two - but nothing resulted from all your efforts. So you've decided to give online dating a try.

And you're not alone - in 2003, Forbes magazine reported that online-dating-service revenues topped $214 million in only the first half of 2003. By now, you can imagine that with the myriad of online dating sites out there, the dollars are pouring in like never before.

Online daters are not desperate, lonely people (at least not all of them). Most men and women who end up on online dating sites are looking for someone because they're tired of the dating scene, don't have time to hunt for a mate, or both.

And chances are, you're in the same boat. The problem is that you're not sure how to go about it or what to do once you do get to an online dating site.

Don't worry, I'm here to help. All you need is a positive attitude and the willingness to find the man you want.

Here, now, are some tips to ensure that you spend hours on end looking for a man online without any undesirable results.

Online dating tips #1

Find men in your area

Unless you are willing to relocate for a man, you're best bet is to find an online dating site that offers you the option of finding men in your area.

Not only will this simplify your ability to meet with one at your leisure, it may even save you potential travel complications down the line (imagine you're in Illinois and fall in love with a man from California).

If you're willing to take your chances, however, that's fine. Just be aware that you do have that option in online dating.

Online dating tips #2

Work your profile

When you describe yourself in your online dating profile, be honest. What good is this whole thing if you're going to start off a potential relationship with lies? Dedicate about 200 words to describing yourself and use another 100 to describe what you're looking for.

How can you describe yourself? Write about what you look like, your education, your job, and things that make you original (you speak Italian fluently, you have a ferret, etc).

Be witty in your profile by making a humorous comment or two. Ensure that you get straight to the point, however, about what you want in a man and what you can bring to a relationship.

Be specific about what you're not interested in when it comes to a man (divorced, children), but don't limit yourself so much that you end up with a specific type of man. For example, you can mention that you absolutely do not want to date a smoker, but don't mention that you prefer blonds.

Also, make sure to double-check your spelling and grammar. Think of your profile as your opportunity to make a lasting first impression.

Finally, do not post any personal information that may give men clues about where you live specifically or who you are. Although online dating is relatively safe, you want to avoid any problems.

Online dating tips #3

Post your photograph

To start, if a man doesn't have his picture posted next to his profile, you can probably bet that not many women will be contacting him. Putting a face to the profile is very important when it come to online dating and you should definitely post yours.

But... do not post a picture that was taken 10 years ago when you weighed 20 pounds less and had no laugh lines. It's not only deceptive; the person who sees it will expect to see that person should you decide to meet up with him.

Post a recent photograph of yourself that you like and try not to have all your friends in it. You don't have to post a host of shots; one or two is more than enough. This will ensure that more eyes take a look at your profile.

Online dating tips #4

Flirt with men

If you're online and someone wants to chat with you, go for it. And if the two of you have a good rapport, then feel free to flirt. But if you're looking for a serious relationship with someone, being overtly sexual may get you a cheap thrill, but that's about all you'll get out of it.

Of course, if you're in the mood for a little fun, go for it by all means, but don't expect a couple of masturbation sessions to turn into a marriage proposal. Just like in the real world of face-to-face meetings, you shouldn't confuse sex with love.

By flirting, you could wink at a man or blow him a kiss, but overtly writing about your genitalia or going over a sexual fantasy won't likely land you a great man.

Online dating tips #5

Keep an open mind

It's possible that men whose pictures don't appeal to you will try to contact you. But rather than reject them outright, why not give them a chance? After all, what do you have to lose?

Online dating opens doors to men you may never have considered at a bar or via a blind date, but if you can get to know a man's character, it's quite possible that he will become better and better looking to you.

Online dating tips #6

Talk on the phone

When you finally do find an interesting man, speak with him on the phone before you meet up. This will tell you a whole lot about his social skills.

Take his number and, when you call him up, use a call-block option before you call him up (better safe than sorry). If he doesn't want to give you his number and starts to make excuses about why, chances are he's hiding something (like, say, a wife). Take the hint and move on.

I strongly recommend that you don't give out your number, but if you are wholly confident about the situation, then give him your cellular phone number and not your home or work number.

Online dating tips #7

Meet in public

If everything is copasetic thus far, then you're probably going to want to meet this gentleman and see if the chemistry is there. That's great. But be careful about where you decide to meet.

First, make sure the location is a public one where there will be a lot of people. Second, don't meet for a full course dinner, but rather a cup of coffee (what if you feel nothing?). Finally, don't meet him at one of your hang outs. If he's a weirdo, there's a good chance he'll frequent the place to see you again.

Always tell a close friend about the situation and where you're headed.

Online dating game

Online dating is a fantastic way to meet great men who have a lot to offer, and even though there is a lot of precautionary advice involved, it's only because you really don't know what you're getting into.

It's the same with any relationship; sometimes what you thought was a great guy turned out to be a freak in a suit. Be careful and have a good time online, and you might just find what you're looking for.

For more great articles visit LadyThrills.com [http://www.LadyThrills.com]

Chat and Date Online

Finding that "one".....the chances feel infinitely better now that there are so many opportunities due to online dating sites. The days of sitting alone on a Saturday night because you're friends out with their "ones" are over. If you want to meet that someone then just log-on and check out the millions of free online chat rooms!

There's no hard or fast rule to chatting on a first or second date but if you have something in common with that person that you've emailed back and forth for a week or so, then what's stopping you chatting in the real world with flair and gusto!

Sometimes chit chat is easier for some people more than others, and if you do struggle with conversations like that, practising with friends and work colleagues can help you significantly (unless of course it's your friend that you have the massive crush on).

As a rule, don't use chat up lines. Try to be yourself, be natural, and not smutty. Don't ask her if how she likes her eggs, nor if she has 10p for the phone because you're doomed to fail. You may get away with cheeky ones if she's not such a serious type, but more often than not, it's not worth it so don't even go there.

Just be yourself, be honest and open. If you can connect with them on that level, everything else should and will fall into place. There's a lot that can be said for a smile, and a glance done at the right time.

Don't try to tell long winded jokes. Comedians may very well be able to laugh you into bed, but unless you're Lee Evans or Lee Mack, don't think that you'll be able to do the same in one night. Just relax, and be you. Listen to what she has to say, and respond to any questions with more than a yes or a no. The way she reacts to you will give you more than enough to go on.

Find something that you're both interested in to chat about. Could be sport, movies, even knitting if you're that way inclined. Make her feel at ease. When she replies to you, don't be judgmental and just listen. If you're not into what she's talking about just listen anyway, and maybe move the conversation on in a different way. TV is always good to talk about - although don't reel off the plot lines to the last 10 years of EastEnders or she may just dump you there and then.

Compliment her, everyone wants to be appreciated. Don't however go overboard. Be endearing, not smarmy.

Compliments that you can give, can range from "you smell lovely", "you have beautiful eyes" to how you love the sound of her giggle.

Some online chat rooms have numbers where you can call members. 070 numbers, 0207 numbers, 07036 numbers, 070111 numbers, 07012 numbers etc are all used for chat and date services as well as 08 telephone numbers. These vary in price from 10p per min to 50p per min from Landline numbers, mobiles always vary so always check with your provider before you call. Adult chatline numbers such as 09s are normally used for sex lines and not normal chat and date services and these cost anything up to £1.50 a min. Don't call 090 lines expecting girls on the other end to date you, because 9/10 they won't.

Finding someone to date online is very safe indeed, providing you take precautions when you meet. Always meet in a public place, and always let someone know where you are going to be and where you are going (send them a text or a quick call if you are on the move to somewhere else).

Who knows, this time next year you may find that special someone who only lives down the road, but you have been too scared to talk to them initially face to face - online dating is so much easier when you have less confidence doing it face to face.

Nicki @
http://www.chatstation.co.uk
27 year old from London in the UK.

http://www.chatstation.co.uk - the safe chat portal for over 18s in the UK

Why Do So Many Men Fail at Online Dating?

With the ongoing popularity of online dating, and studies reporting that over 40 million Americans participate in online dating, one must ask why two out of three men who join online dating sites quit, claiming to be unsuccessful, what are these men doing wrong??

After hours of research, interviews and observations, Sam Stone the author of "Online Dating Secret Revealed!" offers some potential root causes for these failures.

What are men doing wrong?

1. Not knowing what they are looking for.

Mistake men make:

The first most common mistake that men make is going online without a clear understanding of what they are looking for. The "what I'm looking for" section in a typical male profile on most dating sites includes little detail and is compiled of generic terms and characteristics. Most men don't even bother to define the height range of the woman they are looking for! Not surprisingly, they all say they are looking for someone slender or athletic.

Woman's Response:

The response such a generic profile gets is disappointing at best. In a subconscious way women interpret this type of profile as of a man who is weak and doesn't know what he's looking for. Women see this man as someone who is looking for attention from a woman, any woman. Most women rarely respond to such a profile. What woman wants to be "any woman"?

How to avoid pitfall:

Before going online to look for a date, a man must make sure that he knows what he is looking for. The best way to figure that out is to write down (actually write it, not just think about it) a list of the top qualities he is looking for in a woman. One should try to cover as many areas as possible. The next step is to narrow these qualities down to the top 15 and then to the top 5 qualities that are most important to him and list them on his profile. Doing so, the man will not only convey to a woman that he knows exactly what he wants but this also helps him to have an understanding of what is important to him in a woman which will save him time by focusing on those women who have those qualities and not just random women he meets online.

2. Not knowing what they have to offer. Aside from not knowing what they are looking for, the second most common mistake guys make is going online without knowing what they have to offer.

Mistake men make: Most men go online without putting much thought into what their attraction strategy will be and how they are going to present themselves. Many people (men and women) never stopped to take inventory of their lives. Most people live life on a day to day basis and never think of what the tapestry of their lives is made of. One must ask himself if he has ever taken the time to think about all the things he likes, all the things he is good at, all the things he has to offer to other people?

Woman's Response:

Women who actually bother to read this type of generic information catalog it as just "some guy" among many. This type of profile, without a clear attraction strategy, will not get many responses from women of quality, just like most Spam doesn't get many responses from people who receive it.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

Most people have at least some interesting things in their lives. A man interested in succeeding online must take the time to think about those things and use them to create an attraction strategy. For example, if a man is looking for very intellectual women that like to read, he must put a greater emphasis on that side of his personality in his profile. In this case, talking about wild parties might not result in attracting the type of women he is looking for.

3. How to approach a woman online?

Mistake men make:

Many guys make the mistake of using a generic feature called "wink" (also called "icebreaker", "flirt" and other names in different sites). Winks are usually free, some sites allow a quick pre-scripted text message that was created by the site owners, and can be sent to the girl the man is interested in. A generic "wink" can be compared to a pickup line that one found on the wall of a bar which may be seen and used by every individual in the bar.

Woman's Response

The woman receiving it has most likely already seen that line, heard it from a bunch of drunken guys who tried it on her earlier, and will consider the approach to be extremely pathetic. Unless it comes from a very attractive guy, or the first guy who ever approached her, there is little chance of getting the time of day from her and this approach will actually lower the value of the sender in her eyes.

In most cases attractive/intelligent/talented women get hundreds of winks a week, why would they even bother to look at a generic message?!

How to Avoid Pitfall:

How does one stand out then? The best way get a woman's attention is by using emails. If one already invested all this time going online He should probably cough up the $30 or so it costs to register to the site and send an email. It takes some more work, but this might actually get a response...

4. What to say?

Mistake men make:

Most guys don't know what to say in the first Email. The emails women get usually range from one liners saying "hey babe, what's up" to a 5 page emails describing every single thing the guy ever did in his life from birth to this moment. Both methods and what's in between them are bound to fail.

Woman's Response:

My study shows that the top three things that women are looking for are: § To have a good experience § To have fun § To meet a guy who will attract them emotionally.

Emails that include little or none of this will most likely be ignored.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

The email should convey the personality traits that women are attracted to: fun, humor, confidence, and social status. This doesn't mean that you need to tell a knock knock joke about your BMW... It's very simple actually, all a guy needs to do is be playful, and show that he is confident enough to talk to a woman.

E.g. sometimes girls will email the same first reply twice just because they clicked the send button twice by mistake. A good response to that would be to accuse them of being in love with you and to say that they will become your stalkers... if done in a funny way they will know that you are kidding and teasing them, and they will love it and write back to deny this...

5. How much is enough?

Mistake men make:

Once a guy finds a girl he likes, and she actually responds to his emails and starts an email exchange, it's very tempting to just keep the relationship online. However, it is highly discouraged to get into a lengthy email exchange.

Woman's Response

My study found that the more a guy emails the girl, the less likely he is to ever meet her. Another downside of a long email relationship is that the more the two email each other, the more of a "fantasy" about each other's personality is created in the couples' minds. These fantasies are not based on real behavior but on how the mind fills the gaps between what they know about each other through their emails and profiles and the real person. Once they meet, they will both discover that in most cases this fantasy is not real and they will both be disappointed.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

My study found that in order to successfully move on to the next step, an email exchange should be no more then 3-5 emails long before the guy asks the girl out on a date. In these emails, a guy should keep on trying to get to know her, and learn more about her while providing fun and interesting conversation to keep her coming back for more.

6. Assuming online attraction offline.

Mistake men make:

This is a trap many men fall into. A common reason for failure that came up again and again in the study was : "Our email exchange went so well, she kept complimenting me and saying how much she wants to meet me, but when we met it was as if we were strangers" This problem comes from assuming that online attraction automatically continues in the real world.

Woman's Response

When communicating online, the girl has very little to go by, so her brain (this goes for guys too) creates a fantasy guy that has all the qualities the man is displaying in the email. Of course, in many cases this "fantasy man" has nothing to do with the man she is communicating with.

When they meet, both of their fantasy worlds are shaken up and the woman feels as if she's meeting a stranger for the first time (suddenly the guy doesn't look or act anything at all like her fantasy guy). She suddenly has to deal with the transition from the safety of hiding behind a computer to actually standing face to face with a real live person.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

The way to overcome this is to re-generate attraction! How do you do that? It's simple; the guy has to recreate what he did in his emails. Tell funny stories, tease her, and demonstrate the attractive qualities we mentioned earlier. This should get her back to remembering all the good feelings she had when the guy was emailing her and will get her attraction back up again.

7. Not leading the online or offline conversation.

Mistake men make:

Many girls who date online expect their first date to be like an interview (in our study we even had a TV reporter that found it extremely hard to break from this structure...). The "Interview" style date is probably the worst way to have a first date! First of all, it's boring! A date shouldn't be a job interview; it should be fun, for both people. Second, it shows lack of confidence. Think about it, who does most of the talking when the guy "interviews" and asks the questions? She does! This "lets the guy off the hook" of being interesting, exciting and funny and doesn't really convey anything about his personality aside from being a good listener, but that's not one of the top qualities that is going to get the guy a new girlfriend. Third, an "interview" style date forces the girl to lead the conversation and most women are very uncomfortable in this situation; they don't feel comfortable leading the conversation.

Woman's Response

Many of the women that I interviewed indicated that their train of thought was: "I'm hot, I don't need to prove myself, this guy is just sitting there and nodding, probably just thinking about how I look naked" and similar comments to this.

How to Avoid Pitfall:

If the guy doesn't take control of the conversation from the start, he will most likely not get a second date. Taking control of the date means the guy must tell stories: funny ones, exciting ones, interesting or mysterious stories, he must keep the conversation going. A guy should spend the first 10 minutes or so of the date talking most of the time.

8. Falling in love before the first date.

Mistake men make:

Guys have a tendency to "fall in love" with a girl they meet online and feel that they need to "prove their love to her" even before they meet.

A guy shouldn't go overboard in doing thing for a woman at first. A guy should not show any supplicative behavior that shows that he needs to do anything besides being himself in order to get her to like him.

In some cases our study found guys who set up elaborate websites for women, or created online play lists for them with music they might like. It's very sweet, very romantic, but it's something that you do for someone that you know.

Woman's Response

Any time a guy goes out of the way to please a woman in order to get her to like him, he is lowering his value in her eyes. Would he go out of his way like this for a total stranger? No, and that's what she is right now... What the guy is communicating to the girl is "my personality alone is not worthy of your attention, so I will do things for you so that I become worthy".

How to Avoid Pitfall:

Once the couple has been dating for a while, the guy can go ahead and do nice things for her, but for now, he hasn't even met her in person yet. For all he knows, she might be a 13 year old boy messing with him online. A man needs to qualify her as to why she is worthy of his time, not qualify himself as to why he is worthy of her time!

9. Grow up!

Mistake men make:

The worst mistake a man could make in online dating (and in life as well) is not willing to act like a grown man. Many men get stuck in "Baby mode" - they aren't willing to grow up and realize that a grown man's' personality and behavior are not affected by a woman's reaction to them, or the results of the interaction with women.

A grown man will realize that not all women will be attracted to him, love him or that it takes work and time to get good at dating women. Grown men don't get offended when a woman doesn't write back to them, and as a result send her a nasty email talking about what a terrible person she is.

Woman's Response

Throughout our study I've seen emails from guys going through a whole range of negative emotions to why the girl didn't answer them while all that happened was that the girl was out of town and didn't mention it to them (in one case, the guy went from being cute to being self conscious "are you not answering me because of my looks?" and eventually he started using abusive language and ranting about her low sense of morality. Obviously, this type of behavior did not generate a positive response...

How to Avoid Pitfall:

Guys - Grow up! If a girl doesn't respond, or doesn't react like you want her to, follow up, try a different approach, and if that doesn't work, then move on... there are plenty of girls out there. (If you look at a typical large city there are about 60,000 eligible women in your age range, which means that even if you want to meet only 10% of them it will take 16.4 YEARS of going out on a first date every night to meet them all...).

10. This is the worst mistake of all!

The worst mistake a man could make in online dating and in life is not getting the help he knows he needs! Guys don't like to look weak and ask for help, but think about this: Two out of three men make enough mistakes online for them to think that "online dating doesn't work". Obviously, it does work for the other 1/3 of the people that are on it so its not "online dating" that does not work, it's something they are doing online that isn't working for them. Someone once said, "if you keep on doing the same thing, you'll always get the same results", this is why it's important to get help and try to fix some of these mistakes you are making, and not feel helpless when you are not getting any responses to your emails and profiles.

Sam Stone is the author of several books on dating and relationships including "Online Dating Secrets Revealed!", the "Confidence Manual" and of onlinedatingpro.com.

Readers can get additional free advice by registering to his mailing list at http://www.onlinedatingpro.com

Mr. Stone is also available for interviews upon request contact our publishing department at publishing@onlinedatingpro.com or samstone@onlinedatingpro.com

Online Dating - Increase Your Odds

You're a cute girl, so you have no problems getting dates, right? But lets face it. How often does the man of your dreams approach you at the grocery store and ask you out? Instead it's the 40 and never married guy with the comb-over from accounting who won't take no for an answer, or the lame-o in line at the bank that offers up cheesy lines like, "so you bank here huh?". In today's busy world with infinite ways to communicate with each other, why is it so hard to connect?

Back in the day it was a shameful little secret if you turned to the Internet for love. Uncomfortable silences ensued after someone revealed they met their true love in cyberspace. Well, things have changed. In fact, finding a mate online has many advantages. Say the hunkiest guy on the planet did walk up to you in the grocery store. You might be tempted to say yes to the date, only to find out on Date #3 (and countless hours wasted picking out the perfect outfit and primping in front of the mirror) that he loves to hunt wild game on safari (and has the mounted zebra head to prove it), collects Beanie Babies and lives in his mom's basement. With online dating, you can weed out the duds long before you meet face to face.

That being said, online dating takes some skill. As an attractive woman, you could get overrun by candidates within minutes of posting your profile-a profile you spent hours creating. In fact, Trish McDermott VP of Love and Chief Matchmaker for Engage.com says that even though women will state specific preferences in their profiles, some men respond regardless of whether or not they're a legitimate match.

"Many of the leading online dating sites use models that actually encourage inappropriate behavior, as there are no social consequences for this type of misbehavior," says McDermott. "Men contact women, even when they know they aren't legitimate candidates for a woman's romantic interest, because they can get away with it, and women feel overwhelmed and disrespected as a result."

So what's a girl to do? There are a few things you can do to improve your odds for success at online dating. For starters, if you're having trouble with one dating site, try a different one.

McDermott suggests setting up a "filter". "Be specific about the things that really matter in your profile. Do you ever wonder about questions that most dating sites ask, like the ideal eye color of a potential date? We really don't need to drill down into every attribute or quality a potential date might have, and no one wants to eliminate an otherwise fabulous match because his eyes were blue, rather than green. That said, we all have dating deal breakers. Why not be proactive and rather than waiting for men to contact you, try screening for all your deal breakers?"

According to McDermott, you want to be specific but not turn off potential suitors with snobbery. "To further narrow down the filed of contenders, you may have to be direct about the type of person you are seeking," she says. "If possible, focus on what you want, versus what you don't want. So instead of saying you don't want to date hunters, you might say you are especially passionate for animal rights activists. If you go negative, and list traits and attributes that disqualify people, you may come across as judgmental or mean spirited. "

So you've narrowed it down to a few lucky guys. But you've got a full-time job, 2 dogs and a guinea pig, yoga class three times a week, your chair of the local book club and can't miss weekly happy hour with the girls. How in the world do you make time for your virtual dates?

Pre-dates are a good way to manage your dating schedule. Pre-dates are quick meet and greets, like meeting for coffee or a dog play date. You have a built-in timeframe. If there's no chemistry, you really only have to stay for 20-30 minutes (I have to get back to work or Fluffy's due for his medication).

Another concern with meeting men online is that sometimes guys exaggerate their positive features. Maybe they posted a picture from five years ago when they had hair or didn't have that beer belly. There's really no way to avoid the fibbers without asking for a webcam session. If you're comfortable with that then go for it. Just make sure you can block the person after the fact if things don't work out. But say you've agreed to meet Bachelor #1 at a coffeeshop for a pre-date and you show up to find Bachelor Not a Chance in Hell, how do you make a gracious exit?

Experts say you should be honest, but use tact. Of course if you get a dangerous vibe from the person, take precautions. Always meet in a safe place and if you think a guy is acting strangely or threatens you, stay put and call a friend or ask an employee or security guard/police officer to escort you to your car. Before meeting keep personal information to a minimum (like where you work and live).

"I'm all for being kind (unless someone has purposely deceived me)," McDermott says " but frank in these instances. Cut the date, or pre-date, as short as you possibly can, thank him for taking the time to meet with you and let him know you just don't sense a good fit between the two of you, then smile, say goodbye and walk away."

And what if you are on the date and you start to get the feeling that the gorgeous guy sitting across from you is single because he's a closet chauvinist? McDermott says to smoke him out before you agree to meet Mr. Would-be Chauvinist.

"One red flag for chauvinistic men can be in their search criteria. If a man is only comfortable meeting women who are "less" than he is--younger, less educated, earning less income--that can be a sign that he thinks the man should always be more powerful, and the woman more dependent, in a relationship."

So now that you're an online dating expert, what are you waiting for? Get out there and find the man of your dreams.

A. Covington is a fashion and beauty writer. She lends her beauty IQ to her beauty blog. Her readers get a daily dose of beauty tips and cosmetics product reviews, plus articles on makeup, skincare, hair products, and the latest fashion trends. Amy maintains three blogs for Belisi Fashions, a luxury accessories brand based in Palm Beach.

How To Avoid Online Dating Fraud

A sad fact is that scammers are always trying to find new ways to exploit people when they are most vulnerable. One method that is on the rise is through online dating sites. At a time when people are trying to find a companion, there are leeches out there devising online dating scams, targeting people trying to find love.

Your best defense against such activities is to be cautious with everyone you communicate with online. Do not be blinded by your feelings of loneliness or while finding a companion. Remember that not everyone is who they seem online and there are telltale things that you can be look out for.

If someone claims to be of a certain nationality, but the way the write does not seem to match, you should be suspicious. Be alert to basic grammar or language errors. Also, look out for changes in grammar styles from message to message, as scammers often work in teams.

Immediate responses to every message you send, regardless of the time should raise a red flag. It is nice to feel like someone is always there for you, but if it feels like it is too much, it probably is.

Beware of people who hardly seem to divulge any information about themselves. It may seem like they are trying to hide their identities, which is okay as anonymity is expected in internet dating. However, they could also be trying to avoid being caught. It can be hard to keep multiple stories straight between several people. Consistent vagueness should raise suspicion.

On its own, an extremely attractive person should not be a red flag. However, when combined with other potential indicators, it may be too good to be true. Models and sexy people do use online dating sites, but scammers know everyone wants an attractive companion.

Scams will almost always result in money being lost. A scammer can go about requesting money many ways. You should never give money to a person you do not know, period.

A basic and frequently used tactic when asking for money is to give you a sad story that about a sudden misfortune. A family tragedy or accident are stories commonly used. Then they will hit you with the punch line: they need some money and you are the only one who they can count on. They might make promises to pay you as soon as possible.

Sometimes they will not ask for money outright. They could ask you to cash a check for them and then wire it to them. To sweeten the deal, you could be asked to keep a fraction of the money, which also makes you a part of the fraud. Of course, they will be long gone when the check bounces.

If you give someone money, chances are that you will never see it again. Do not be a victim of online dating scams. Use common sense and avoid being hit in your wallet and in your heart.

Receive free downloadable internet dating tips and romance books full of useful tips today. David Kamau writes objective dating site reviews at his site and blog.

Love Online - Why Relationships Are Ending With a Click

You know that line from the T.S. Eliot poem, "The world ends not with a bang but a whimper"?

Could it be possible that modern relationships aren't even getting that far, with many terminating with nothing but the gentlest of mouse clicks?

Talking to a friend's sixteen-year-old daughter, a casual discussion about her "love life" led to some disturbing discoveries about love online.

While she enthusiastically recounted wonderful conversations, brilliant games and exciting holiday plans that she had shared with the man of the moment, when I asked about actual times, places and dates she became strangely subdued.

Finally she admitted that things were fine online...but the pair had never spoken a word face-to-face.

Single White Female, Looking for Committed Texter

I could see that she was upset by this fact and encouraged her to talk about it.

This is what she had to say about a young girl discovering love online:


When we are actually in the same room, we have nothing to talk about.

I feel so embarrassed when he looks me in the eye that I have to look away.

Talking to someone face-to-face is a lot of hard work.

It's much better to rehearse and edit what you want to say.

If I see a guy in person, I get so nervous I just tell him to text me.

It was my turn to become subdued. This list of concerns seemed to have overwhelmed her. When I asked her if she had worked through any of these issues with a special guy, she looked at me as if I had suggested she bungee jump off a building without a rope. Oh no. She and her girlfriends had decided to take another tact.

They are only going to have relationships with guys who are really good texters.

As I tried desperately to find an appropriately G-rated comment, she added with wide-eyed sincerity, "People are just so much nicer in their profiles, than in person."

Forget about Mr Right, or even his brother Mr Right Now.

Many of today's young women, it seems, are only developing relationships with Mr Right Click.

You Have Mail

It's a given that modern forms of communication like the mobile and the Internet are incredibly efficient and accessible for teens.

But they also distance users from both other people and reality.

How many of you out there now prefer to get a text than a phone call?

How many of you have been "dumped" or broken off a friendship via email?

Who has a username that is slightly mysterious or fanciful?

Whose avatar is reflective of a component of of their fertile, inner person rather than their yearbook photo...(or is everyone out there really a superhero with a name usually reserved for birds of prey..?)

As a teenager I had a number of pen-pals, and even exchanged some infatuated letters.

Protected by the physical distance such communication allowed, I could speak openly and honestly about a whole range of topics. I didn't need to worry about my voice catching in my throat or the spinach lodged in my braces. I wasn't distracted by having to interpret the body language signals that ping off adolescent males like alien transmissions.

But most of these pen-pals lived in highly accessible places like Finland and Columbia and it was unlikely that our paths would cross at the local fish and chip shop.

So, like desperate teenagers everywhere, I had to "put myself out there".

This was painful, yes, with lots of embarrassing moments where I suddenly lost the ability to speak English or where I tripped over a floral pattern on the carpet.

But I survived and even learned to ride that thrilling wave that lifts you relentlessly towards the most humiliating of moments, only to have the object of your affection smile at you and say the most perfect thing.

This - any young readers out there - is a phenomenon called "dating".

Beyond the Pick Up Line

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Dating is ultimately about communication.

If you examine those rare creatures who can turn the most horrific dating experience into a smashing success, you will usually find that they are great communicators.

I have a friend who has dated widely and successfully for a number of years. She has her fair share of cringe-worthy moments, but instead of taking a mishap as a personal affront, she looks at it as a challenge and does everything in her power to make it work out.

This includes applying some of the basic rules of effective communication.

Here are six of the principles for communicating effectively, that I have applied to a dating scenario for any face-to-face first-timers:



Know Your Audience - if your online exchanges have been truthful, you probably already know a lot about your date. Prove this by asking questions about some of their interests. Encourage them to learn more about you by sharing some personal stories or insights. Focus on the story, not on your sweaty palms and before you know it you will be conversing faster than you could ever touch type!




Know your Purpose - be clear about why you are spending time with this person. If you have been honest about your intentions online, then this should be a breeze. Even say upfront what you want to get out of the date, so there are no crossed wires.




Know your Topic - on a date, your topic is simple: you and the person you are spending time with. Come prepared to talk, even if you have to rehearse some anecdotes before you go. Years later when you're sitting together in the old people's home looking back on fifty years of marriage you can laugh about the cue cards you took in your pocket on your first date!




Anticipate misunderstandings - face-to-face communication with anybody is open to miscommunication. Expect that you will disagree on things or that you might not express your thoughts as clearly as the wonderful essays you construct online. Learn to clarify your views and to laugh off disagreements.




Communicate a little at a time - short dates are often good dates! You can also restrict the conversation by going to a movie or game where body language can do most of the work.




Present information in several ways - face-to-face communication is only one form of expression. Texting, phone calls, emails, letters are all excellent ways to communicate - they just shouldn't be the only ways!

Reading Between the (Blog)Lines

Ultimately what makes us great communicators is our ability to read other people.

With body language making up so much of the communication we share with others, it is essential that we encourage our young people to develop the skills of reading other people's emotions and intentions.

But it seems to me that in the case of my young friend this has been taken literally, with a focus upon reading, rather than engaging with the people around her.

As a writer and teacher and avid reader, I urge people to keep reading and to explore the way other people present themselves on paper.

But if more than a one-dimensional understanding is your goal, then put the mobile and mouse aside and communicate with the person, rather than the profile.

The problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred.

-George Bernard Shaw

I am a teacher, trainer, writer and management consultant with a passion for inspiring women. My sister and I run a company devoted to providing women with the tools and support to make changes in their lives. Our business is called Outfit because we believe in delivering outcomes that fit the needs of our clients.

Online Dating: An Endless Supply of Opportunity

It's true. Online dating provides an endless supply of dating opportunities. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of single, separated, or subversive somebody's searching for love. The numbers are staggering. Annual revenue estimates for the US alone are close to $1 billion. At $10 to $30 per month for a membership that is a whole lot of love. At least the opportunity for love.

Mother has shared her wisdom in troubled times. You must kiss many frogs to find Prince Charming. Or after a troublesome breakup consolation is offered. There are so many fish in the sea and men are like street cars. Another will come by if you just wait. Yet in this age of information with boundless access to e-commerce, social networking, and online dating there is no waiting.

There are hundreds of online dating services, perhaps even thousands if foreign dating is included. At any time of day or night, in any time zone, culling the available population of men and women looking for love is at one's fingertips. An internet browser is all that is needed to search for the next opportunity for perfect love. At any hour, and in any language opportunity is found by simply reading profiles, gazing at photographs, chatting, exchanging emails or phone calls. When chance turns to certainty the meet is scheduled.

There are literally thousands of opportunities that fulfill the basic requirements for a mate. After indicating eye color and hair color, height and weight, education, interests and income the list is likely still remarkably long. Wait a few days and the population will change with the addition of new members and the reappearance of existing ones. This endless list of contenders is comforting. To find "the one" it is likely that the chances are 1 in 1,000 or less. So it is reassuring that there are so many men and women to consider.

While searching for a candidate, while qualifying and scheduling meets and dates the searching suitor might have 3 or 4 opportunities in the consideration queue. There are those that have attractive photos but have yet to respond or reach out. There are those that have chatted or emailed. There are those that have spent a moment on the phone or even scheduled a time to meet. Each opportunity regardless of the status of communications remains a mystery until such time as the defining red flag of rejection is raised.

There is therefore a long line of opportunities that stretches around the online block. Each person shuffles forward in line awaiting their turn to meet in the interview. Some fall out of line having found someone else. Others come to the head of the line still searching. And yet at the very moment that the meet is in progress someone is working to jump to the front with another invitation via chat, email, or text.

When does the opportunity at hand cause this interview process to close and the long line to scatter. There is certainly the risk of delaying a selection simply due to the fact that there exists so many more opportunities. So when does enough become enough? Clearly the one with the long hair is interesting and cute but what about the one with the blue eyes and the Golden Retriever. When is it time to make the decision?

The process of selection is usually accompanied by criteria including time frame or geography. If one is limited by time then there comes a moment when the decision must be made. Or if there is a limited geography or population within that geography then there comes a time when all the opportunities have been evaluated. In the opinion of the writer the constraints of time and distance should not be criteria for selection. Instead the writer suggests using one's heart.

D.J. Kelley is an author, speaker, storyteller, and a personal online dating coach. His fresh look at life is filtered through comedy colored glasses with a hint of irony. D.J. has been a featured contributor to newsletters and local newspapers. His Florida-based short stories have been described as both comic strips and fables. Imperfect Heroes, his first novel, is available at http://www.imperfectheroes.com.

Online Dating: How I Met My Mate

Do you think online dating is only for the young and the foolish? Not

true! Lots of men and and women of all ages are finding the love of their

life through online dating. I did it and so can you.

Oh, No, Single Again!

When I separated from husband number three, I was 47 years old and

plenty scared that I would never find a good man to love. I read all those

stories about how a woman over 40 has a better chance of being hit by

lightning than getting married again. It's all nonsense. Your life is

determined by the state of your consciousness.

When you end an unhappy chapter of your life, it means you've got

some soul-searching and spiritual work to do. If you are willing

to do the work required to heal your emotional hurts and resentments,

you can write a new chapter with a very different ending. I went through

a real "Dark Night of the Soul" following my third divorce, but I had such

a big, stubborn ego that the only way I was going to learn the lessons I

needed to learn was to be completely humbled.

I didn't really find my own spiritual truth until I lost everything else. It took

some time, but I eventually turned my life around completely on

every front-health, finances, work, and relationships.

As you get older, it becomes more difficult to meet eligible men. More

and more people of every age are using online dating to find their

special someone. My story should give you lots of confidence that you

can meet the right man for you, no matter what your age or

geographical location. When you're having trouble meeting eligible

prospects in more conventional ways online dating is certainly worth a

try.

If anyone had a good reason to complain about how hard it was to meet

a good man, it was me. I was over 50, living in a very small mountain

town where most people in my age group were married couples. It's a

community of pickup trucks and blue jeans. The local joke is: "If you find

a guy in Big Bear who is still single, he's either in recovery or on parole."

In nearly three years of living there I met a few single men, but no one

that I wanted to date.

Finding My Soul Mate

Two weeks after I moved in to the new house I bought, I met my soul

mate. It all started several months before, when a woman I knew

showed up at church one Sunday with a nice looking, neatly dressed

guy in tow. In a sport coat and slacks, not blue jeans--wow!

"He's not from around here, is he?" I asked, "Where did you meet him?"

"On the internet!" she replied.

"Are you serious?" I gasped! She told me there were lots of nice men in

our age group using the online dating sites and encouraged me to try

the one where they met.

I put my profile and picture on the website she recommended

and a whole new world opened up to me. Quite a few men contacted

me, and this gave me the opportunity to practice and hone my skills at

determining whether they were worth the time and trouble to actually

meet in person.

I was very specific about my basic

requirements in my profile and it amazed me to see how many guys

seemed to just ignore what they read. I stated that I did not want a long

distance relationship. He must live close enough geographically so we

could see each other at least twice a week. I'd get e-mails from New

York, Florida, Texas. I stated flatly "no smokers." Then I'd find out in a

phone conversation that the guy smoked! What were they thinking?

Couldn't they read?

I did meet several good men and dated them for a period of weeks or

months, but no one really clicked with me. That was all right. It was fun

checking the internet site to see who contacted me, then writing and

talking to lots of different men. Sure, a few were losers or idiots, but most

were just decent guys who wanted to meet their special woman

and fall in love.

The whole experience restored my faith in the male of the species. I saw

that most men want someone to love just as much as we

women do. They touched my heart and strengthened my resolve to keep

the faith. I believed with all my heart that my soul mate was out there

looking for me and wanting me as much as I wanted him.

I read some of the success stories posted on the site and noticed that in

many cases, the woman had made the initial contact. It gave me

the confidence to try my own search instead of just responding to those

who contacted me. I wondered if there might be anyone interesting who

lived anywhere nearby. My search turned up dozens of men who lived

within an hour's drive.

Something immediately drew me to Stephen's profile. He lived

in a nearby town right at the bottom of the mountain. His face was blurry

in his photo but he was wearing a sleeveless tee shirt, which revealed

his muscular upper arms. I'm a sucker for a great pair of biceps,

so I contacted him by e-mail. In his online dating profile he said he liked

to write poetry, so in the subject line I wrote: "Your muse awaits."

He was intrigued by my message. He wasn't quite sure what a muse

was and had to look it up in the dictionary. (A muse is someone who is

an inspiration to an artist, especially a poet). He told me later that my

clever, romantic line made his day.

We wrote back and forth a few times, and then talked on the phone for

several weeks. He sounded rather casual on the phone and I wasn't

sure I wanted to meet him. He was persistent though, and

convinced me to meet him at a coffee house called Grounds for

Enjoyment. Little did I know how prophetic that would turn out to be!

I still didn't know what his face looked like. Oh, but there was no mistake

about those biceps! I assumed his looks would be nothing special

because of the blurry photo. I kept my expectations low and my mind

open, so I wouldn't be disappointed, no matter what happened.

The First Meeting

I was waiting outside when he pulled up in his purple Explorer. He got

out and walked toward me and my heart nearly stopped! He was tall,

slim, and extremely good looking, half-Italian with dark hair and

eyes, an aquiline nose, and strong jaw line. He was wearing a black

leather jacket that immediately reminded me of my old high school

swains back in New Jersey.

We said hello, and then he impulsively gave me a hug. It caught me off

guard but I liked it, and it was okay with me that he did it.

We hit it off immediately. We talked for hours that first night.

Before I drove back up the mountain I told him that he felt like family to

me. He reminded me so much of my Italian family back east. Being with

him was easy and comfortable.

We dated, got engaged, and then married a year and three months later.

Online dating worked for me better than I could have dreamed!

If I had not done all that spiritual work before I met him, none of

this would have come to be. He is so grateful to have a woman in his life

that enjoys being in charge. And I am so grateful to have a man in my

life who accepts and loves me as I am. We've been together five years

now and every day I'm thankful to have such a good man as my

partner in life.

Great relationships are created through your consciousness (as is

everything else in your life). That's what I know to be true through my

own experience. Great love is possible for every one of us so

don't give up! Online dating could be the perfect way for you to meet

your soul mate just as it was for me.

Barbara Wright Abernathy Author of Venus On Top: Women Who Are Born to Lead and the Men Who Love Them. Get your FREE report—3 Biggest Mistakes People Make While Dating at www.venus-on-top.com [http://www.Venus-On-Top.com]