Online Dating Advice - Is There Such a Thing As Too Much Honesty?

When you are creating your profile, there is such a thing as too much honesty. What you put in your description says a lot about you in face value. But, if you get good at "reading between the lines' you may be sending out negative vibes without realizing it. There are definitely some things to avoid for a profile that shows you in the best possible light, describing who you want in a positive, attractive way.

Reading Between the Lines

Your choice of words is particularly important when you include what you don't want in a partner. Outlining specifics of qualities that don't work for you, announces that you've already been down that road. Taking a step back to read between the lines, you are broadcasting your past relationship issues. Is that what you want everyone to know about you? I doubt it.

Let's say you've had it with men who won't commit. So you put that in the profile, "Don't bother connecting with me if you're a commitment phobe." What that really says is that you've already been with men who wouldn't commit. It makes me wonder what might be wrong with you that these previous lovers wouldn't stick around. That's not good.

Here's another good example. You plainly state what you want, requesting that a man "Must be honest." Oh great, now I know you easily fall for liars. That's not helpful for you either is it?

You probably thought these strong statements would weed out undesirables. Instead what often happens is that subconsciously, people see you as an easy target. Someone who is susceptible to their dating style.

Using these demanding phrases isn't just bad form because it's demanding. These comments are like flashing neon signs to visitors - "I'VE BEEN TAKEN IN BY A LIAR" or "I'M TIRED OF MEN" Will this information make you more attractive? Nope. Everyone has some baggage, but you don't need to advertise it.

Present Your Best Self at All Times

In your profile, just like in your emails, on the phone and in person, you want to appear at your best. You want to be positive, on your best behavior, and most appealing. That's why too much honesty can be a problem. Especially in the beginning.

Focus on What You Do Want

Instead, focus on what you do want and what qualities will work for you in a partner. If you want a long-term relationship - go ahead and say that. If you want a man who will be a life partner, you can say that too. If you want a beau who has a sharing spirit and generous heart, that's good too. - These are positive requirements, not demands.

When in Doubt, Leave it Out

Selling yourself short by exposing previously bad judgment or situations is not in your best interest. Try this rule of thumb - When in doubt - leave it out. You can always share more details in person as you get to know each other. Think positively that good partners are out there and keep searching until you find the right one for you.

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