30 Perfect First Dates

The world of first dates is full of potential for disaster. Apart from the fact that if you get it wrong you could lose a potential dream relationship there are the other worries too. Will you even like him or her? What if you run out things to say? Will you make a fool of yourself? What if you're really boring? What if she/he has bad breath? Or worse still what if you have bad breath?!

One way to take the pressure off slightly is to pick an environment for your first date where you would both feel comfortable and occupied. Not all first dates are simply a meal and a movie. However it might be an idea to check and see if your prospective date would cope with the chosen environment. For example choose a summer picnic and find she suffers chronically from hayfever, go to an all you can eat barbeque under the stars only to find they're vegetarian, she suffers from vertigo and you're taking her rock climbing...)

Bear in mind you're meeting your date to get to know them a little better. You're gonna need to talk at some point. Headbanging music, manic activity etc might not be terribly helpful. Furthermore if you are meeting a stranger for your first date your options must be limited to what's safe and sensible and ALWAYS tell someone where you are going and who with and what time you hope to be back.

Great first date ideas When you're more comfortable in the crowd Group events will show how your date interacts with others. A perfect first date in a crowd might be:

A day at the races - horse racing, dog racing, or car racing. Fun to watch and can be even better if your date is passionate about horses/cars etc

Casino - all bets are off! Spend the evening in a casino and a great way to observe how your potential date copes with pressure. And winning or losing!

Zoo - A lovely place for animal lovers to spend a first date and there's always something to talk about. From the animals themselves to environmental issues to travel

Aquarium - For the more ocean orientated this can be a lot of fun and again there can be much to talk about.

Art Gallery or Museum - If you're both into history or the arts what a great way of learning each others tastes and interests.

Amusement park - Thrill seekers. If she copes with the scariest ride in the park does that mean you're a pair?

Tourist bus trip - We all live in places where we walk past things everyday and have no idea of their origin or significance. Take a tourist bus trip around your home town - possibly open topped - and learn things together.

Boat trip - the same applies for a boat trip along the local river/lake. Bet you're lived there all your life and never done the trip. Make the most of the opportunity.

Cinema - This doesn't leave a lot of scope for talking but it can be a good way to break the ice

Theatre - The same applies to the above but it can be an enjoyable evening in a more formal way and the intervals can be a good time to chat and learn each other

Concert - noisy possibly but if you're both into a certain band/group it can be an excellent ice breaker

Comedy act - What better way to start a relationship than full of laughter?

If you're more comfortable being active on a date. Action dates are great for interaction between you which helps to create a bond with your date. Activities together will give the impression that you have spent more time with your date than you actually have and make you feel as if you know them more.

Mini golf - a step back into childhood possibly. And you can see how he copes with not winning;-)

Bowling - Your own lane, own table, you can talk to each other and you don't have to stare at each other the whole time.

Ice skating - Fun to do and it gives you both a perfect excuse to hold on to each other.

Paintball - Pull that trigger, sweat it all out and enjoy. Forget the paint and the mud all over you. Forget the poise and see the best and the most unwanted in each other.

Lasertag - Similar to the above but without so much adrenaline. Or muck.

Kite flying - A seriously romantic way to spend a first date and bound to win you some great brownie points - Years later people will ask about your first date and she'll say, 'He took me kite flying.' and everyone will go 'Ahhh, how romantic!'.

Sand karting - Unusual and fun.

Go-karting - Check the driving skills and see whether your date is a potential speed freak maniac or a back seat driver who tells you how to drive.

Billiards/Pool - Apart from being active and fun you can place a bet along the lines of loser cooks dinner for the winner. A great set up for the next date.

Dancing - Take her to a learn Salsa/Line dancing etc. (Check and see if she's keen first! She might be a professional dancer or have two left feet and the thought of showing off her lack of grace might be a big no no.)

Food based first dates

Go on a picnic - Picnics rank high; they're casual. If the date gets tricky you can go kick a soccer ball together or throw a frisbee.

Drink in a bar - A nice time limiting way to get to know each other. If you like each other you can go on to a restaurant afterwards.

Coffee shop - First dates aren't limited to evenings - sometimes enjoying a great coffee in a small cafe can be a perfect start

Go to a themed restaurant - Japanese where the chef cooks in front of you, or eat in the dark (Dans le Noir) Greek where you throw your crockery after you've finished eating. The options are many and can be a great focal point when conversation gets sticky.

Adrenaline junkies? Or just want to do something truly spectacular for your first date?

Bungee jump - Take a leap of faith. Your relationship and the jump!

Giant swing - See the fall at Oribi Gorge - if she or he is still keen on the idea of dating you then it's well worth exploring the idea.

Hot air balloon - A very romantic way of enjoying a first date, not only is it an awesome experience, you both get to know each other in a unique environment.

Abseiling and rock climbing - There are many indoor and outdoor climbing facilities and what better way to learn about the ups and downs before you than by climbing!

Please remember always tell someone where you are going and if you're meeting a stranger always meet in public.

If you're looking for fun activities and ideas for things to do go to find-fun. They currently have over a 1000 great ideas, and growing, to meet all budgets, ages and weather!

Written by Jen Errico - reluctant housewife, happy mum, author and web designer.
Love-writing.co.uk - on writing and the meaning of life ;-)

Find Your Perfect Mate: Is This Your Year?

A new year always fills us with promise and hope. Will this be the year I lose those 10 pounds? And will I pay off all of my credit cards? And of course, that often elusive goal... love. Will this be the year that I find "the one?"

As a huge fan of goals, I would encourage you to place "love" on your list if this is, indeed, your deepest desire. But I'd also encourage you go to after the "perfect fit." Let this year be the end of settling for Mr. or Mrs. Okay and of dating people who do not meet the qualities that you desire in a partner.

So, what's the big secret? What's the first step in finding love?

Well, my formula was born out of my own frustration. Year after year, kissing frog after frog. Always with the same end result, single again. When I turned 40, I took a step back and developed a formula - Ready, Set, Leap. And after using my formula with success (John and I met the old fashioned way, on the internet, and have been married for 4 years) I thought I'd share it with you!

Step 1: Ready.

Before you leap out onto the dating scene there are a couple of things that need to be put into place. The first step Ready, is about getting crystal clear on the vision you have for your future and that perfect person who might fit into it. Note: attracting someone perfect doesn't mean they are flawless: it means they are a perfect "fit" for you.

A part of your vision could be how you spend your time. Who is surrounding you, where do you live, what you do for fun, etc. How often do you meet someone and find out later that you don't have the same vision for the future - they want to be off skiing in the Alps when you'd rather curl up with a good book.

Values also come into play at this point. Our values are the things that drive our life (i.e. family, security, fun, adventure). When you attract someone with values that are similar to yours, your relationship will be so much easier. If your partner has a value around spending money freely and you like to be conservative, you might have issues. And when 50% of marriages fail, many due to money issues, you want to find a partner whose financial values match your own.

Of course, we hear stories of opposites attracting, but the matching of values can provide you with a smoother path. I can vouch for this because my own marriage ebbs and flows fairly easily. I keep thinking "where's all the work that everybody talks about?" I'm sure we'll hit our bumps, but so far our similar values have led us to smooth sailing.

Step 2: Set.

Once we know what our future looks like, we want to do some internal work to ensure that we are truly ready for lasting love. This work is around clearing the baggage. It might involve forgiveness and letting go of some of the "emotional crud" that you've been dragging from relationship to relationship. If you think you don't have any baggage, look harder! Everybody has something.

Another part to "Set" is around feeling fabulous. What would it take for you to walk into a coffee date feeling terrific? Doing things that make you feel great - basically falling in love with yourself - is the key! For some it might be getting healthy or finding that new job. For others, finding out what truly makes us happy may be a process unto itself. Don't rush through this.

My girlfriend Naomi recently ended her 30 year marriage. Having been a wife and mother for all that time, her identity was tied to those roles and now that she's on her own, she's lost! Finding out what makes her happy is a process that she is committed to and it may take some time.

Step 3: Leap.

Once you know your vision and have taken steps to get feeling like the most fabulous version of yourself, then you're ready to leap out to the dating world.

Most people start at this stage, which is why many end up circling back to the beginning over and over again. I can relate. I went around and around in this cycle for years. But if you do the work to get Ready and Set first, something may just change!

Leaping out to the dating scene means basically going where other single people are. The internet has made this so much easier with new dating websites popping up daily and some of them are really specialized. Sites for different religions, single parents, seniors, active people, you name it. Even sites that encourage cheating on your spouse....not anything I would recommend.

If you are internet shy, put yourself into situations where you are doing the things you love. My friend Kara is an avid outdoor adventure girl - she loves hiking and kayaking and skiing so she belongs to an outdoor singles clubs. If you love to cook, take a class; maybe another single will end up being your partner. The bottom line to Leap is to keep putting yourself out there.

Sometimes it will be discouraging, but if you have a clear vision of what you want, have done the inside work and feel fabulous, and continue to get out where other single people are - you will be setting yourself up for success!

Jane Atkinson spent years on the dating roller coaster but she just couldn't seem to find her perfect match. So what changed?

At age 40, Jane made a decision. She knew that in order to change her outcome, she would have to change some things about herself and the way she went about finding love. She developed the Ready, Set, Leap approach and voila, it worked! The Frog Whisperer was born! Jane and John have been married for 4 years and live in London, Ontario Canada. For more information go to: http://www.frogwhisperer.com

How to Find the Perfect Man

The journey of how to find love is often fraught with answering personal questions like "how to find me a man" who perfectly fits my criteria - criteria that is often borrowed from the idea of a perfect man projected by mainstream media.Finding a soulmate that way is often not a good idea because in real-world dating scene, characteristics that we desire are not lumped in one person; rather, they are found in a broad spectrum of personalities.

The same standards of beauty that magazines and movies portray reshape our ideals of who is perfect to the point that we often see a man's shortcomings instead of his positive qualities. We may not be keen to admit it, but the search for finding a soulmate often starts on the wrong foot: the minute we get interested with a man, the next concern is finding fault. Make an effort to banish this habit from your social skills the moment you catch yourself doing this. You will most likely catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. This applies to every relationship you forge, and not just in the process of how to find love.

Screening "candidates" is very much similar to interviewing applicants for a job. Highlight qualities that complement with your own (in the same way you would look for qualities that will contribute to the company's bottom line) or attributes that you know you will be comfortable with. The next challenge is when you are faced with the dilemma to choose between a good quality (that you so desire) and a bad one (that you cannot abide by) that are both found in one man. To answer that, ask yourself whether you can put up with the negative long enough to sustain the relationship. Chances are, you will probably not make a good fit for the long haul if the answer is no.

Go with your gut if you doubt your judgment. The best way to do it is to know the person better. You are in a better position to gauge a man's character when you see how he behaves in various circumstances and occasions, which is only possible when you have allowed the relationship to go beyond casual. The process of how to find the guy for you takes time, but your effort will be worth the wait. You also need to take calculated risks. The relationship may not progress beyond what you hoped for, or the man may turn out totally not in your league. Accept that fact, and move on.

In the process of looking for Mr. Right, you also need to make yourself the man's Ms. Right. This requires self-discovery and honest self-reflection. The moment you understand who you really are at the core, you also get enlightened with the kind of man who is perfect for you. The challenge of how to find love often starts with not knowing the kind of man you want to take as a partner for life. Knowing yourself, therefore, also leads to knowing the ideal person you will be most happy with.

Enjoy the search and the goodluck! Use these tips to leverage on how to find a man. You can get more information on how you can find love by visiting http://www.manifestingmydestiny.com. Be sure to take advantage of the 6 Day Free E-mail Mini-Course.

Lori Abela is a Law of Attraction Practitioner and Finding True Love Coach for expatriates. She herself has manifested her match in 30 days through a process that she now teaches. Discover her secrets to finding true love by visiting http://www.manifestingmydestiny.com Lori is available for coaching, speaking engagements and consultancy.

Finding Love Online - Tips on How to Set Up the Perfect Membership Profile

With top dating sites advertising that they get as many as 20,000 new members a day, it seems that finding love in line should be an easy thing to do. The best online dating sites can and do work for many people but one of the major things that can affect your success is how well you set up your dating profile. Here are the top tips to ensure your success when setting up your profile on internet dating sites.

1. Honesty is the best policy. Blatantly exaggerating (lying) on your member profile is against any reputable on line dating services' terms and conditions, and for good reason. If you can't trust everyone's profile information then you are wasting everyone's time and money. Also, just like cheating on a diet, the person you hurt most by not being honest is yourself. While lying is an obvious non negotiable, "stretching the truth" is also being dishonest. For example, how out dated exactly is the profile photo you posted? Were you 30 lbs lighter or with significantly fewer wrinkles or more hair than you have right now?

2. Quality of your profile photo. On the subject of dating profile photos, make sure your photo is a good quality, in focus picture. It should not be a "group" shot, unless you want to give the impression that you will be bringing all of your buddies on dates with you. Most on line dating services suggest both a head shot and a full body shot. Please, no professional "glamor" shots, ladies. Are you really going to be showing up on a date like you are heading off for a model photo shoot? Also, make sure you don't automatically send the wrong message to people by being either too scantily dressed or blatantly in "party" mode. For example, don't have a photo of you holding a cocktail the size of a goldfish bowl.

3. Spend time on the "free response" part of the dating profile. Many dating sites have new members complete questionnaires to help them "match" people of similar interests and dating goals. Above and beyond this, many multiple choice questions can revolve around how you react in certain scenarios or your preferences about different things. Because the multiple choice format usually only provides for 3 or 4 choices, often member profiles might seem like only slightly different versions of the same few "generic" people. Take full advantage of any opportunity to write a "free response" part of the profile to differentiate yourself from others. This needn't be more than one or two paragraphs about you and what you hope to find in a mate, but it will definitely increase your chances of finding love on line.

4. Take your time. Invest time in filling out your on line dating profile profile. Don't rush through. First impressions are important, and bad spelling and poor grammar do not lend themselves to a positive first impression.

Following these simple tips should ensure that you get the most out of your experience using an on line dating service. Thousands of people have found their soul mate on line and whether your goal is to do some casual dating or to meet your life partner, using an internet dating site could be an excellent option for you. The best services offer guarantees, so there is nothing to lose!

What's makes some people successful with online dating and other's not? It's all about the on line dating profile! To learn exactly what to do to set up the perfect " online dating profile " and watch a FREE video visit www.datingprofileexamples.com today!

How To Stop Waiting For The Perfect Partner and Find Love Now

All have a dream of perfection, of the perfect mate who will understand their every need before they say it and match their inner image of woman/man at their best. This person is the perfect complement, able to bring out his best, free the person from inhibition; someone they will be proud to be seen with in the world.Some might say that this is really a search for the Holy Grail. Others might suggest that clinging to this image of perfection is a defense, preventing a real life person from being able to win the seeker's heart.

The yearning for the perfect mate manifests itself differently, and has various consequences in a person's life. Some realize what they're feeling. Others are entirely unconscious of what is going on inside. I was looking for perfection," said Hans, "I would only go out with extraordinarily beautiful women - models, women like that. Then, when I met someone who seemed to fit the bill there was initial crush and a certain period when it kept up.

Then she got on my nerves.I would suddenly start to realize little things that they weren't perfect; her skin, way of talking - really superficial, silly things. From that moment, I was basically leaving them all the time. One of the powerful aspects of waiting for the perfect lover is the belief that the person will always stay exactly the same. Based upon an image, rather than reality,we believe that this person can never be touched by the ravages of time. But when we seek an image, rather than reality, inevitably things fall apart. Each person has their own specific dream of the perfect lover or mate For some she's beautiful, sexual, unconditionally loving, giving him whatever he wants. She seldom talks back and gives little trouble.

She is there predominantly to glorify him, reflect on his manhood and sexual prowess. Who she is as a person is secondary. Not only is it secondary, in many cases her personality, ambitions and individuation seriously get in the way. For others the perfect lover is tough. She'll challenge, stimulate, perhaps even abuse. She's there to make him toe the line, perhaps reminiscent of his childhood experiences with a strict parent.

As people wait and long for this perfect lover, they cannot see the person who is in front of them. That person becomes only someone to fill up time, until the perfect person appears on the scene. When people leave this kind of secondary relationship, they may not feel as though they're leaving, because they've never really been there in the first place. They've never had the chance to really know if this person could have been right for them or not.

When a person is seen simply as an extension of one's identity, then seeking the perfect woman is really seeking perfection in oneself. A person who lives this way is skating on thin ice. Only a strong sense of self, based upon inner values and self respect will permit a person to create a solid relationship that will last through time and grow richer and fuller, rather than blow away in the wind.

Hans continued, "I finally just got completely bored with it all. I don't know if it was age, or if I was just becoming more aware, but I never had a feeling of fulfillment, no matter how many women I had. Finally I met someone who was better for me. This was a completely different situation from my other relationships. Probably though, I had to change and grow, so I could meet and appreciate a person like my wife. Hans had to go through a period of emptiness, and depression as he realized the unreality of his search. An image brings only temporary pleasure. It can never bring fulfillment. In order to find real love, Hans started to work on himself, to meditate, take long walks, and find what was important in his life. As he did this, he was taking responsibility for making himself happy, finding his own core. As he felt better about himself, he felt better with others as well.

Soon he began to appreciate the different women he met for who they truly were. From this vantage point it became easy to find a relationship that would truly nourish both of them. When we make someone else into an image, we are simultaneously doing the same to ourselves. An image can never bring happiness; only a real flesh and blood person who we respect and admire, can do that.

Men tell in their own words why they left relationships, in winning e-book Why Men Leave. Build a relationship that really works. Download now at http://www.whymenleave.com . Top psychologist has helped thousands. Free ezine and articles http://www.brendashoshanna.com . topspeaker@yahoo.com