It's true. Online dating provides an endless supply of dating opportunities. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of single, separated, or subversive somebody's searching for love. The numbers are staggering. Annual revenue estimates for the US alone are close to $1 billion. At $10 to $30 per month for a membership that is a whole lot of love. At least the opportunity for love.
Mother has shared her wisdom in troubled times. You must kiss many frogs to find Prince Charming. Or after a troublesome breakup consolation is offered. There are so many fish in the sea and men are like street cars. Another will come by if you just wait. Yet in this age of information with boundless access to e-commerce, social networking, and online dating there is no waiting.
There are hundreds of online dating services, perhaps even thousands if foreign dating is included. At any time of day or night, in any time zone, culling the available population of men and women looking for love is at one's fingertips. An internet browser is all that is needed to search for the next opportunity for perfect love. At any hour, and in any language opportunity is found by simply reading profiles, gazing at photographs, chatting, exchanging emails or phone calls. When chance turns to certainty the meet is scheduled.
There are literally thousands of opportunities that fulfill the basic requirements for a mate. After indicating eye color and hair color, height and weight, education, interests and income the list is likely still remarkably long. Wait a few days and the population will change with the addition of new members and the reappearance of existing ones. This endless list of contenders is comforting. To find "the one" it is likely that the chances are 1 in 1,000 or less. So it is reassuring that there are so many men and women to consider.
While searching for a candidate, while qualifying and scheduling meets and dates the searching suitor might have 3 or 4 opportunities in the consideration queue. There are those that have attractive photos but have yet to respond or reach out. There are those that have chatted or emailed. There are those that have spent a moment on the phone or even scheduled a time to meet. Each opportunity regardless of the status of communications remains a mystery until such time as the defining red flag of rejection is raised.
There is therefore a long line of opportunities that stretches around the online block. Each person shuffles forward in line awaiting their turn to meet in the interview. Some fall out of line having found someone else. Others come to the head of the line still searching. And yet at the very moment that the meet is in progress someone is working to jump to the front with another invitation via chat, email, or text.
When does the opportunity at hand cause this interview process to close and the long line to scatter. There is certainly the risk of delaying a selection simply due to the fact that there exists so many more opportunities. So when does enough become enough? Clearly the one with the long hair is interesting and cute but what about the one with the blue eyes and the Golden Retriever. When is it time to make the decision?
The process of selection is usually accompanied by criteria including time frame or geography. If one is limited by time then there comes a moment when the decision must be made. Or if there is a limited geography or population within that geography then there comes a time when all the opportunities have been evaluated. In the opinion of the writer the constraints of time and distance should not be criteria for selection. Instead the writer suggests using one's heart.
D.J. Kelley is an author, speaker, storyteller, and a personal online dating coach. His fresh look at life is filtered through comedy colored glasses with a hint of irony. D.J. has been a featured contributor to newsletters and local newspapers. His Florida-based short stories have been described as both comic strips and fables. Imperfect Heroes, his first novel, is available at http://www.imperfectheroes.com.
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