When you begin a new relationship how it starts can really define the level of honesty you have and in essence the success of this relationship. Being yourself is incredibly important so don't hide and quirks or behaviours that you have or even viewpoints, at the end of the day to be loved is to be accepted for who you are so you cannot find love pretending to be someone else.
When you have made the decision to really look for love and be yourself there are several things you can do to help you find someone. Going to a singles night or speed dating, joining an on-line dating agency or being set up on a blind date are some of the most obvious ones.
If you are going to a singles night then it will initially be your appearance that attracts someone so you must spend time on your look and clothes and really scrub up well for the evening. Get a friend to help you shop for a great outfit and even get a new hair cut or style done and make the effort. Use the environment you are in to help you attract someone, so don't go with a friend because then you will be forced into mingling with others at the bar or as you're walking around.
If you see someone you like simply try smiling at them and if they smile back looking a little uncertain then, just wander over to them and ask if they are here for the speed dating night? Ask them if they have even been to one before? Say that you're a bit nervous and keep asking questions. If you are compatible then the conversation should just flow but if it's a little awkward then say you going to the toilet or something. A good partner will mean easy conversation and not just because of the alcohol and within the first few hours you should be discussing you hopes and dreams and finding some common ground.
If you are on a blind date then getting away will be a little harder than excusing yourself to go to the toilet, a blind date usually means that one of your mutual friends thinks that you'd be great together so that's your common ground. When you have established the right person you're meeting up with then get a drink together offer to pay if you like them but not if you don't. Talk about you mutual friend to begin with, then maybe work or hobbies, food if you at a restaurant, pets and general stuff like holidays, weather and if you like them discuss you ambitions in life, family and ideal partner questions. If you don't like them stick to boring and general things and then excuse yourself by saying you have to be up early for work or something. If you do feel some connection and spark then just be honest about things, have opinions and don't hold back about who you are and the other person will either like you or not.
If you are internet based then honesty can be a problem because there is a huge stigma attached to internet dating and being honest. Many people on-line are genuinely looking for a partner and you just need to have a systematic approach and know how to handle the time wasters who are looking to cheat on their partners and use people. Start by looking through profile and seeing if anything you read catches your eye or if you have any common interests then have a standard introduction save hi, my name is x, age is y, I work as a z. How long have you been interested in? Then they can either respond or not. People do on-line chatting too but talking to someone before you know anything about then can just be flirting which is fun but ultimately wasting time if you have nothing in common and live opposite ends of the country.
When you get some responses and have maybe emailed a few times then just say I've noticed we live fairly close (assuming you're looking in the same area as yourself) and wanted to meet up for coffee? See what the response is, someone genuinely looking for a real relationship will probably want to meet up. Pick somewhere you can have a lunch so that it's not so pressured like an evening date with alcohol and then you will be in a more real situation to find love rather than a manufactured one and of course continue to be genuine and honest with the other person.
You must be yourself when trying to attract a perfect partner and as much as you can in any situation talking to someone you're attracted to try to connect with them without hiding who you really are. That way when you do start to connect with someone, this new relationship will last.
Susan is a dating counsellor who advises couples and singles in the online dating world. Susan works for a company who let you search for singles who live in your city. If you live in the UK then why not try london dating and meet professionals, for a date at lunchtime or after work! For more information please visit Lovestruck London.
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