How Do I Find Love In This Busy World?

As a relationship coach one of the questions I hear most often is 'how do I find love?'.

The success of the on-line dating industry shows that everyone wants to find a wife, or find a husband, or find a life partner. So many people are searching for love which is very sad as it means they believe that something is missing from their lives and don't realise that they have all they need within them to be happy, right now.

When a client asks me 'how do I find love?' I ask them:

a What are they actually looking for ie. what is love to them?

b Why do they want to find love ie. what do they think will change in their lives if they find love?

These questions are crucial, as if you don't know what love is, you'll miss it when it comes your way. It might even be in your life right now, but you don't recognise it as it's not in the form that you expect.

For example many of my clients are brainwashed by the fairytales they grew up with and the media and believe that love is a feeling that will sweep them off their feet when they meet the 'right' person. This is not true. Yes, there are some people who you will be physically attracted to and this will cause chemical reactions in your body. This is not love though, this is chemistry. It may develop into love when you get to know the person, or the physical attraction may wane and you will be left with nothing.

I believe that love is a choice. You choose to love a person for any number of reasons including:

a They are kind and caring;

b They are positive and full of life;

c They are attractive;

d They have a great sense of humour;

e They want the same things from life as you;

f They come from a suitable family and your parents want the marriage.

The fact that love is a choice is demonstrated by the success of arranged marriages throughout the world. In cultures where marriages are arranged the divorce rate is under 10%, as compared to a divorce rate of over 30% in the western world, where marriages are not arranged. Why is this? Well it's not because relationships are perfect when marriages are arranged. It's because people approach arranged marriages with a mindset that the relationship will not be perfect but they are going to build a life together despite this. The parties look for the good and focus on this, rather than the bad. The result is a long-lasting union. The universal laws are at work, as by focusing on the positive the couple in the arranged marriage vibrate positive energy and attract positive experiences. Conversely, in the western world couples tend to focus on what is wrong with their partner and what they do not like about their relationship with the result being that they attract more of what they are focusing on.

My advice for finding love is to have a positive mindset and choose to love. Look around and notice someone worthy of your love and then love them without expectation. You will be amazed at what happens.

Tonette Watson is a certified NLP Practitioner with much experience in Business and Life Success strategies.

She is the Founder of Sow For Success http://www.sowforsuccess.com and How Do I Find Love http://howdoifindlove.net.

She offers on-line, telephone and group mentoring and coaching sessions which will change your mindset and empower your life.

She is a skilled relationship mentor and can teach you how to attract the relationship that you are seeking by looking within yourself to determine what you are looking for.

She provides practical advice on what to do and where to look for a person who will bring love into your life.

Tonette Watson
How Do I Find Love