Finding a loving partner can add a great deal of happiness to your life. The problem is that there are many more women looking for the right man than there are suitable men. It also takes consistent effort, properly directed, to find him. This article offers some suggestions on how to do it derived from the book from which it's been excerpted, which discuss these topics in far greater detail:
1. Meet More Men
How many men have you met in the last month? It's very important to put yourself in situations where you are going to meet many more men. That can not only lead you to the right man directly, but to men you could meet him through: someone he's related to, someone he works with, or one of his personal friends.
2. You Talk First
Don't wait for men to talk to you. You talk first! Make small talk. Get things started. If you are friendly with men and they have an interest, they should be able to pick up the ball. Pay attention to chance meetings and to serendipitous events: standing in line, running into someone you haven't seen for a long time, someone who's interesting you see in a museum or on a walk or run.
3. Take A Hard Look At Your Requirements
It's only normal to have them, but the more stringent they get, the more men you are going to eliminate from an already narrow pool. Look for character. That will provide a myriad of benefits. Look for what's going to help make you happier and make a real difference in your life in the long run. Don't get hung up on height, how much hair a guy has, religion -unless that is critical to you, age and similar characteristics. If you're over thirty-five, try expanding your age preference seven years on both sides past what you have now. You might get some nice surprises.
4. Improve Your Appearance
Men are attracted by a nice appearance and a nicely dressed woman. Dress up more. Very few women do. You will really stand out from the crowd -- and that's just what you want to do. You need to give yourself as many edges as you can. You've got a lot of competition. This isn't just about men looking for young, shapely women. Doesn't what a man looks like make a difference to you? Well it does to men too -- even more.
Lose weight if you have to. First, for your own long term health benefit and the benefit of the man who's going to love you. He's going to want to be with you for a long time. Secondly, to make you more appealing. It might not be fair, but it's true: a woman who gets her weight into a more acceptable range is going to attract more attention, presuming other appearance details are taken care of too. Look at Jennifer Hudson. She's very likely the same nice, pleasant woman she was before she lost the weight she lost, but now a lot more of her natural beauty shines through. It can for you too.
5. Move Ahead. Don't Stay Stuck
Don't let a bad divorce experience or the death of a partner keep you mired in upset and sadness. You still have a whole lot of living to do, no matter how old you are. Focus on your future and take action to create the best one you can. Don't stay stuck in the past. The only one living there is probably you. Like great running backs in football: "Run for daylight!" As long as you stay in the game, you can make a difference for yourself and for the man you find. There is a man out there looking for someone just like you. Do your part and make it easier for him to find you.
6. Use Online Dating
The internet is one of the most revolutionary developments since the Industrial Revolution. Don't walk when you can run. Let efficiency work for you. Get over any problems you have with it or have had with it. You are holding yourself back. I met my wife and a former partner both on the internet after I was over 57. I was the lucky one in both cases. If you had problems with online dating in the past, take a look at what caused the problems and just select more carefully next time. Where else can you scope out 100-200 men in an hour? You can't ignore a resource that buys you that. It would probably take you years to meet that many men in other ways.
7. Use Dynamite Photos and Write A Captivating Personal Statement
Excellent photos are very important. It's what stops traffic. You have to stop traffic first before you can cross the street to get what you're looking for. Take a look at some of the photos that other women have posted. How many of them are exceptional? It's a very small percentage. Here's a good way to make yourself really standout with a few natural, not hand on the chin or behind the head, photos.
Take time to write an excellent personal statement too and answer questionnaires thoroughly. Some women take little or no time to do it. Distinguish yourself by writing a personal statement where you share honest feelings about the man you're looking for and indicate what kind of life you're hoping to share with the right man. Open up your heart. You will touch the hearts of the right men if you do.
8. Be Open To Moving If You Can
Being willing to go where a man already is, or to a new place together, can really increase the number of potential candidates. Saying that you would be willing to move for the right man can greatly increase the number of responses you get. You can be searching all over the US and Canada (I'd be careful of foreign destinations when dealing with strangers),instead of just searching within 25 miles of your home. Any flexibility can help, even if you're only willing to move to a different part of your state.
9. Be Patient and Be Happy With or Without a Man
It can take time to find the right man. It takes a whole lot longer if you don't work at it consistently. Searching can get old after a while, so the better job you do of it and the more you apply yourself to the task, the sooner you're going to get results. In the meantime, be happy and do things you enjoy. Look at the good things you already have in your life and be grateful for them. Sometimes when you just go forward leading your reasonably happy life, you might be surprised to meet the man you were looking for. Stay active and get out of the house. You're never going to meet anyone there, unless you're on the internet looking.
10. Believe
It is never too late to find love in your life. I've heard women in their sixties and seventies sound like they're all washed up, never expecting to meet anyone. If you keep thinking like that, you're going to be right. My father was married to my mother for 48 years when she died. He re-married ten months later at the age of 74. My stepmother was 75. They had 13 happy years together.
I also heard about a woman who was 92 and married a man in the assisted living facility they lived in. She said, "Why should we both live alone when we can talk and enjoy each other's company?" They were married for four years in their nineties. You're probably far younger that either of these couples. There is always time -- if you keep hope alive and have the resolve to do what needs to be done. Believe. That's why I wrote my book!
Lawrence J. Danks is the author of Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice For Women. This article includes a few of many suggestions on how to find a loving husband or partner. Twenty eight chapters cover how to meet men,how to know the right man,dealing with divorce,dating tips,intimacy,children and dating,personal and financial safety,finding happiness with or without a man, and much more. The Table of Contents and further information is available on: [http://www.FindingTheRightManForYou.com]. Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice For Women is available at $13.95 or less through Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com and all leading booksellers.
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