Is He Interested Or Is It A Line?

If you are single and dating, can you recognize a line when you hear one? Is he interested in you? A line is something that people say when they want to sound sincere but they are not quite willing to tell the truth. People use lines when they either want to manipulate you into doing something you might not want to do, or when they think they have to let you down gently. Either way, a line is phony baloney.

You can save yourself a lot of confusion around dating if you develop your ability to hear the lines guys use. If you hear yourself using a line, you will probably know it right away because it will leave you feeling a little yucky. Look at the following phrases and then listen for these lines when you are out:

1. "Let's get together sometime."

If you have not exchanged phone numbers or contact information, and if there is no time, date, or place mentioned, this is a date that's not going to happen. If both of you really want to see each other, you won't walk away without a plan.

2. "Give me a call on Tuesday and we'll see if we can get together."

This is a line said this way so the person can stall for time and come up with an excuse. If you call, he'll say he can't go out with you because he forgot that he has to be at a meeting somewhere.

3. "I'm not ready for a relationship."

This is the line of baloney people use when they know you are not "it" for them, but they might be interested in a relationship called "friends with benefits." If he met someone and fell head over heels in love, he'd get himself ready. Be careful around someone with this line. It's an easy excuse to use you and then leave.

4. "Yeah--maybe we can get together next week."

Don't count on it. Someone who is truly interested in you doesn't say maybe. Maybe is the equivalent of never.

5. "I'm too busy right now to date."

If someone says this to you, the truth is--they'll always be too busy. In fact, everyone's life is busy, but if you met the right one, you would find a way to see each other. Whatever is going on, this person is using it as a wall to stay away from a relationship. However, reasons are not important here. The message is: he is not going to make time for you.

6. "I just want you for a friend."

I don't know about you, but I have enough friends--not that it wouldn't be nice to have another one--but I'd just as soon it wasn't a guy who had told me that I wasn't relationship material. It's not healthy to be in a place where you are patronized. And if you thought you were in love with the guy, you wouldn't want to be around him and be reminded that he didn't feel the same way you did.

7. "I have to leave now because I have to get up early tomorrow."

This line may be true, but if it is, the person will usually start to tell you that fact early on in your conversation. He may have an early morning call, or an exam, or have to catch a plane somewhere. He will apologize, tell you that he hates to leave, and want to make plans to see you again. He won't go without your phone number and a time when you can meet. However, if he uses this line and there is no follow-up to get together, it's just baloney.

The above are worn out lines that a guy might say to you when he won't tell you the truth. These phrases are actually lies cloaked in, "I'm really a nice guy and I can't be truthful because I don't know how." You can hear the baloney if you're listening carefully. No one is served in this game.

Be careful not to get trapped into thinking you might be rejected. It's hard to go out and meet people when you have that fear. Fear and loneliness can set you up to want to believe someone's line. You deserve better than that. You want to find someone who wants to be with you, thinks you're fun and attractive, and tells you how wonderful you are. If you don't want to waste your opportunities to meet the special one--pay attention to the lines guys use.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com Or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)