Don't act foolishly by expecting love long-shots to win! When you are faced with a low-percentage romantic situation, realize that the most likely outcome is failure. The smart move is to only get involved when the love situation is favorable.
The following ideas are designed to help women assess their love situations more accurately so that they can avoid the obstacles that hurt their chances for finding success at lasting true-love:
o STAY CLEAR OF MARRIED OR ALMOST MARRIED MEN.
Men who are married, separated, engaged, or already involved in some other kind of committed relationship make poor candidates for true love. These types of men are notorious for stringing along innocent women, and rarely do they make the decision to move away from the current situation as promised. Don't fall into the trap of being the "spice" in a man's love life. Instead, find a situation where you will be the "main course." Make sure that a man makes a clean break from his previous relationship before you make yourself vulnerable.
o AVOID MEN WITH EXCESSIVE FAMILY PROBLEMS.
Initially, a man may hide the fact that there are problems with his immediate family. His troublesome relatives (parents, children, etc.) will often take priority over any new romantic interests that may appear only short-term to him. Also realize that some family problems can be closely linked to hidden financial strains.
o BEWARE OF THE GEOGRAPHICALLY UNDESIRABLE.
When two people live a long way from each other, it limits their actual time together or makes getting together a major hassle. If an emotional attachment takes hold and transforms itself into a long-distance romance, eventually a major relocation will be required or dreams will be broken. Relocating for someone is risky business, and shattered dreams bring heartache. So carefully consider any involvement with a man who lives in a different part of the country, continent, or world.
o BE WARY OF ROMANTIC MEN WHO ARE ON THE ROAD.
A lot of innocent women get involved with men who are on a trip for business or pleasure. For some of these men, there is a challenge to see if they can score while traveling regardless of their relationship at home. As a recent commercial about Las Vegas suggests, "What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas." For some men, whatever they do while on a trip is all right as long as they don't intentionally try to hurt another person and nobody back home finds out. Single men may view travel time as an opportunity to have sex "without strings" or a way to get quick sex despite having STDs. Steer clear of these men, or proceed cautiously.
o LOOK OUT FOR LARGE AGE DIFFERENCES.
While this obstacle may not apply so much to celebrity love relationships, it is a more common problem for the average person. Large age-differences translate into being in different stages in life, and make it hard to relate well to each other over time. Often, the younger partner starts to blossom while the older partner tends to feel uncomfortable about this change. For some rare couples, this kind of change ends the original dynamics of the relationship, but they manage to reach a new balance of power and go on to lovingly grow together.
o DON'T DISCOUNT RACE, RELIGION, AND ETHNIC ISSUES.
If marriage and starting a family are part of your future plans, then religion, race, and ethnic issues may appear prominently in a romantic relationship. For some recently matched individuals with these kinds of strong cultural ties, such issues may be too much of an obstacle to moving forward in a dating relationship towards marriage.
o BEWARE OF MAJOR CLASS DISTINCTIONS.
Sometimes economic and social differences can also take their toll on a new love relationship. There is a certain level of difference that most people can accommodate. However, if there are large and clear differences here, a rift may begin to take hold and widen. Of course, in movies like Pretty Woman, people of different classes may spark interesting romances that are successful. Still, in real life, social and economic differences have a largely negative influence on long-term success with love.
o TAKE CAREFUL NOTE OF MAJOR SCHEDULING CONFLICTS.
Sometimes I hear women complain that the man they are dating is always working. Maybe he owns his own business and works an 80 to 90 hour work-week. This type of man does not leave much room in his schedule for a full-time love relationship. Another common situation is when the man works the graveyard shift (midnight to 8 A.M.) and the woman works a typical eight-to-five shift. If you're a woman who wants to spend a lot of time with your man, then these kinds of love situations are going to be difficult and stressful for you.
o WATCH OUT FOR UNFAIR COMPETITION.
Sometimes a woman will have to compete with an almost perfect mother, an adorable sister, a gorgeous ex-girlfriend, or a loyal ex-wife for a man's affection. While this special person may not even be directly related to his current love life, the comparisons of her personal strengths may be matched up unfairly against any new woman who comes along.
Be on the lookout for these obvious clues that a relationship most likely won't work out. Don't be fooled by your short-term emotions when the long-term facts point in the opposite direction. The decision to pass when the odds are bad is much less painful to do right away than after two people have become emotionally involved.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Dating sucks when you're stuck in a low-percentage love situation where the prospects of advancing to a happy marriage do not seem likely. But dating rocks when a smart woman learns to recognize poor love-situations quickly and moves on to the prospects for love that are more favorable.
Steve Nakamoto - "The Voice Of The Other Half"
iVillage.com's Ask Mr. Answer Man Relationship Expert
2-Time Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
Author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs To Know About Catching A Man
Talk Like A Winner! 21 Simple Rules For Everyday Communication Success
Dating Rocks! The 21 Smartest Moves Women Make For Love
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