In Part 1 of this series, I talked about the preparation work you need to do before you can successfully meet beautiful women during the daytime. In this article, I'll talk about how to actually approach a woman in the daytime and go on a date with her.
I've been working on my dating skills for years, but when I met Alison in New York on a Monday afternoon, suddenly everything I had learned converged in spectacular fashion. She is a truly beautiful girl; the kind that always has a string of guys chasing her, wanting to do favors for her in the hopes of winning her over.
We went on an incredible date later that evening and ended up spending a few precious hours together in the early morning before I had to dash off to catch my plane back to London. Sleep deprived and severely exhausted, I couldn't help but keep thinking about Alison on the journey back.
You may recognize some of the things I've described in this article as components of the Love Systems Triad Model. Here, I've tried to simplify the process and include useful tips that you can go out and use today.
It's my hope that this won't be just another article you read, but something that comes to mind the next time you see a beautiful woman walking past you or sitting next to you in a cafe and inspires you to approach her.
Approaching and Transitioning
For most daytime dating situations, particularly the street, direct approaches - where you make your intentions explicit - often work the best. An indirect approach, like asking her for directions or asking her where a store is, will almost always get you a positive response, but you'll have to work hard to make it go somewhere useful.
An approach like, "Excuse me, I just saw you walking past and I had to tell you that you look absolutely stunning. What's your name?" is going to get some null responses, but the ones that do respond will know the score and be more amenable to being charmed by you.
In that respect, approaching isn't just about starting the conversation, but also setting a good tone and foundation for the rest of the interaction - one where she knows that you're potentially interested in her and not just making idle chit chatter.
"What's your name?" is the simplest way to transition off your opening line into a normal conversation with a woman you meet in the daytime. As soon as you exchange names with someone and shake their hands, you're communicating that you're going to talk a little bit with them. It's the polite and socially intelligent thing to do.
Attraction
Attraction is the part of the interaction where you demonstrate to a woman that you are an interesting guy and she becomes romantically or sexually interested in you based on your social value.
In the daytime, it's important that this happens within the first couple of minutes. In a nightclub or bar, you can often show your social value over a prolonged or interrupted period (for example, if she notices you talking to other people in the bar before you go talk to her). But in the daytime, you often only have one quick shot before she walks out of your life forever.
There are two basic rules to building attraction: you have to talk (meaning you have to make statements instead of just asking questions) and you have to say interesting stuff (meaning what you say has to show social value).
You have to ask a couple of questions early on like "What are you doing today?" and "What do you do for a living?" but make sure you are making plenty of statements in between those questions.
Remember that you are the one who is leading the conversation, so lead it onto topics that you find interesting and you can talk fluidly about. Personally, I'm not going to bring up or get into a conversation about the opera, golf or the entertainment industry, because I know very little about these things - I won't be able to show any value and therefore build any attraction if I stay on these topics.
However, I will try to get into conversations about traveling, literature or dancing, because these are topics I know a lot about and can make interesting comments on, tell stories on and have opinions on.
Qualification
Qualification is the part of the interaction where you show a woman that you are attracted to her for non-physical reasons, that there are parts of her personality that you like and appreciate.
It's important that you focus on attraction for the first few minutes. You will know when a woman is sufficiently attracted to you because she will respond openly to your questions, smile warmly and exude positive body language Free Souls Embrace Creative Commons towards you, and not make excuses to leave.
The last one is probably the biggest signal to watch out for. Of course sometimes a woman will genuinely be busy, but if you meet a woman in the daytime and you talk to her for a few minutes and she is still there, she is most likely attracted to you.
At this point, you need to start telling her a few things that you like about her beyond the physical. There's no need to go too deep at this stage. Pick out a few things that you've discovered about her personality and what she does in her life that you like and tell her.
For example, you might compliment her on being a warm and confident person, on being ambitious, on being driven in her career or for being so passionate about one of her hobbies.
In doing this, you're letting her know that it's not just her body you're interested in but her mind as well. It's important for a woman to know this if she's going to get more invested in you.
Logistics
So you've been talking to a girl you just met on the street, in a cafe or a bookstore for a few minutes now. She's not making excuses to leave and you've told her a few non-physical reasons why you like her. At this point, you need to start thinking about how you are going to escalate things with her.
The first step is to get her on a date with you. Getting a phone number is not the goal of your approach! Women give out their phone numbers to guys all the time without responding to their texts or calls. Part of it is to do with getting caught up in the moment and part of it is to avoid social awkwardness.
So after talking to her for a few minutes, you should suggest that you talk more over a coffee a drink. Try to set up something for later that day if possible or if not within the next couple of days.
If a woman won't commit to that, she's probably not very interested in you. You could spend time chasing her and pinging her with messages over a prolonged period, but there's a strong chance you'll be wasting your time.
Ideally, and especially if you want to get things physical on the first date, you want to have a drink somewhere with her in the evening. Try to pick a venue that is reasonably close to your place, but not massively out of the way for her to get to.
If she seems hesitant, she is strapped for time (or you are) or you feel like you don't know her well enough to ask her out for a drink, a daytime coffee date can be a less intense alternative.
Comfort
Comfort is the part of the interaction where you build an emotional connection with a woman. You do this by sharing details of your life with her and listening to the details of her life.
Once a woman is attracted to you and you've shown her that you're attracted to her for non-physical as well as physical reasons, establishing the emotional connection is what will make her feel comfortable enough to progress things physically with you.
Start by being interested in finding out more about her. What does she do for work, in her spare time and for fun? Keep it light early on, then get a bit more specific: what kind of music does she like, what are her favourite movies, what does she normally do on weekends? Relate to her experiences and her emotions with your own.
The key here is to focus on the emotions, not the facts. Whereas attraction is a lot more about the surface and factual details of experiences, comfort is more about the underlying emotions behind something. For example, if she enjoys playing the guitar, why? How does it make her feel? Is there anything you do in your life that gives you a similar feeling that you can talk about?
As the date progresses, you can get a bit more personal. You can talk about each other's ambitions, passions and what is important to the both of you. Don't get into serious and specific conversations about past relationships or family history yet. You don't want to get too deep, too soon.
After a couple of hours of getting to know each other emotionally, she should feel comfortable enough to take things further with you. Ask her if she'd like to have a drink back at your place. Don't attach too much importance to the outcome: if she says yes, great. If not, maybe she's just not ready yet. There's no rush. If she's still interested, you'll see her again on the next date.
In the next and final part of this series, I'll talk about how to build and maintain a relationship after you've met and slept with a woman for the first time.
Jeremy Soul is among the world's foremost authorities on Daytime Dating. To see hidden camera demonstrations, testimonials, and more information, go to http://www.lovesystems.com/daygame
Alternatively, if you have any questions, comments, or queries about any part of your love life, don't hesitate to drop a mail to madridismo_77@hotmail.com
沒有留言:
張貼留言