2012年10月12日 星期五

Hook Line and Sink-Her


Today I woke up with an infectious appetite for adventure and so I decided to do something out of the ordinary. With a quick visit to a marina I became the proud renter of a 21 foot vessel known as, "The Magnum Baron," a full tank of gas, and the largest Ugly Stick in North America. I decided to go fishing.

Armed with a tackle box of artificial lures, an array of jigs spanning every color and a live-well full of genetically enhanced mega-minnows, I was convinced I had the fishing equivalent of "game" in my personality. The hunt was on. I had confidence. With pep in my step, I hit the water and told myself, "Them fish ain't got nothin' on me..."

...Hours later, the only thing I had caught was a vicious sun burn, a large tree, and an insatiable hunger. No fish, no bites, no nibbles. I was exhausted and none too happy. Resigned, I told myself that fishing is for losers, and the US government needed to pass laws to stop the over fishing of American lakes. Utterly disappointed, I went home in a bad mood.

When I got back to the marina it was dusk. I was not ready to face the people who rented me the "Magnum Barron" and tell them all about "the one that got away." So I parked the boat and sat on the dock to think about my day. Fishing did not make sense to me. I went trolling; I made hundreds of casts into various bays; I even jigged my way across the lake using every color in the jig rainbow. I tried everything I "thought" I knew about fishing, and yet I did not catch a single fish. How depressing.

My failure at fishing gave me a familiar sense of dejection and frustration from my days in the bar scene. I realized that the way I felt about fishing today mirrored the feelings I used to have every Friday night after an unsuccessful attempt at finding a women to date in a bar. You never forget what that icky feeling of inadequacy and disappointment feels like when you arrive at a bar with so much potential, but invariably leave alone. Not good enough to find a women, not good enough to catch a single fish. What a complete waste of time. It was at this point I had an epiphany. Going fishing is just like looking for someone to date!

When I used to go out in bars looking for eligible people to date, I had little to no success. Society in its current form makes it extremely difficult to find a perfect match. The game, the attitudes, the egos, societal norms, it is all too much to deal with and incredibly frustrating to navigate through the waters of traditional dating.

Fishing is the same way! I had all the tools in my tackle box of fishing tricks to be successful. My bait was smart, sexy, alive, and the creme de la creme of the sport. From the perspective of fish, I was desirable and totally date/edible worthy and yet my fishing experience, just like trying to find love in a bar, was a complete waste of effort and time. I needed help.

To solve my poor hunt-to-date ratio from my days in the bar scene, I solicited the help of technology. I discovered online dating. I was nervous to try it at first but after I mustered the courage to try something new I embraced the technology. Wow....what a great invention. Through online dating I was able to locate, pinpoint and snag exactly the type of people I was interested in meeting. My hunt-to-date ratio improved considerably and I no longer have that feeling of leaving bars alone. Today, I take my dates out to these same bars for drinks and I never leave alone.

Consider the fishing equivalent of online dating. What if you decided that you wanted to catch a 23-pound largemouth bass? (The world record currently stands at 22-pounts 4.97-ounces). Not only would you be able to assess whether your Lake of choice had a fish that large in it, but if that fish was in your lake you would be able to tell your fish bait to catch it! Having this technology would be like fishing with a heat-seeking missile... genius!

This technology for fishing does not exist yet, but it does for finding people in your area who are looking to date somebody just-like-you. I encourage you to online date because it could change, reward and enrich your life beyond measure. There are millions of eligible women on planet earth that suit your desires but you need help to find them in the same way I need help to find fish. Explore your sense of adventure and join a free online dating website today so you can go fishing for a date and hook, line and sink-her.

As for my future fishing endeavors, I'm going to have to invest in a state-of-the-art fish finder until somebody invents a heat-seeking fishing lure. Until then I'm stuck with the old motto: "Early to bed, early to rise. Fish like hell and make up lies."




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